Posts by beachcomber

    I'd be more worried about sharing a dormitory than doing the presentation - I think I'd rather sleep in a hedge :eek:

    So would I to be honest. The last trip was only for a night, and the dorm was full so I quickly volunteered to sleep in my van. Very comfortable and peaceful it was too, although there was quite a bit of condensation in the morning. I'm not sure how I'd get on for 5 nights though, and it would make me look very antisocial. I'm going to sleep terribly on a bunk bed surrounded by people (some from other campuses who I don't know well). It's going to be very hard to get through such tough days without a decent night's sleep.

    I might try alcohol, but that's risky. I tread a fine line between sober, singing, and puking.

    Kalms and herbal remedies do absolutely zero for my anxiety. I'm not sure what would happen if I ate a whole bottle. I have some, so maybe I'll try it. Can you OD on kalms?

    I have a doc's appointment for the 22nd. I'm just praying he'll give me something.

    I've put this in here instead of the Health section because I'm not really into non-members seeing it. I'm expecting some 'don't go there, just try breathing exercises!' replies. No, done with that.

    We have the field trip from hell coming up, and I'm either going to have a breakdown or drop out because of it. 5 days in a shared dorm, 12 hour days of really intense survey and stats work, followed by an assessed group presentation on the final day (prepared the night/morning before). I've told the lecturer that I'm really going to struggle with that, to the point where I just don't want to do this course any more. He said it wouldn't be fair to let me do the trip and then have me sitting there while other people do the presentations just because I 'don't want to do it'. Obviously he doesn't fucking understand anxiety. There is an alternative assessment, but he said no one ever does well on it, and it's reserved for people who have some physical reason why they can't go.

    So, drugs. I tried to get an appointment with the good doctor at my practice, but can't get one until the 22nd (maybe not even then, I have to phone back tomorrow). That's less than a week before the trip. My backup plan was to get some online if he won't prescribe me something, to use as a one-off when I really need it (I'm past caring how dodgy that is), but at that short notice online deliveries might not arrive on time. So I might just go ahead and order some just in case.

    A quick google throws up several options. Has anyone tried ordering these sort of prescription drugs online? I probably won't be allowed to ask for recommended companies, but what was your experience? And of this drug in particular, not as a long-term regularly taken medication, but as something to take one-off before presentations and the like to just get through it?

    Whats the fear ? Is it the public speaking part or the content of your slides part or the technical quality of your presentation ?


    The speaking. I heard today that we have a talk to do next semester that I didn't know about. And in one of our classes this term we've just been told we'll have to do an un-assessed group presentation for that too. It's endless. I just can't do it, and I'm sick of telling them that.

    Hey guys, I'm posting this on behalf of my brother, so bear with me!

    He's looking at an LDV 400 convoy 17 seater minibus with a view to converting it, but was wondering what the story is with the weight? I'm not sure what it weighs to begin with, or what it's likely to weigh afterwards tbh, but he thinks it's a fairly straightforward process to have it 'downplated' so he can drive it on his post-1997 licence. Does anyone know if that's the case?

    Thanks :)

    This thread reads like Sanskrit to me :S

    Windows 10 just updated itself (without warning and took 2 hours), and my printer is now completely unusable. I'm guessing it might have deleted a driver, or something? Why the hell would it do that? I've been following the reinstall process for the printer but it just says Unsuccessful Network Installation. Pissed off is an understatement. Does anyone know what to do to fix it?

    and emailing my (Tory) MP to tell him he's a twat

    :clap: They do need to be told every now and again! I know what you mean though, I avoid watching the news quite a lot too for the same reason. I do care about it all, and it makes me sad and angry that we can't do anything meaningful to help. With the environmental stuff though we can do little things to help, and to try and re-connect with nature. That's something that bothers me so much, is that people see the environment as this 'other' thing, that makes no difference to them if they're not interested in it. But to me it's the most important thing, and I feel as though most of the problems in the world can be traced in some way or another to our disconnectedness with the land and nature. When I see people saying 'well, whatever' about it, I just want to shake them.

    But yeah, that's not a popular position to take in the place where I work, which is why I don't often talk about these things with them (unless I'm asked what I'm reading!).

    Thanks, I think! :o I do sometimes wonder if I get a bit too miserable reading books like that, when everyone else seems to be happy ignoring the situation. I was reading that one on my break at work a couple of weeks ago when someone asked what it was about. I told him the section I was reading was about the terrible damage we were doing to nature, and he said I should stop reading it. Apparently not enough people care to make any difference, so it's best not to worry about it. That depressed me more than the whole book put together.

    Touch by Claire North - probably the last book I'll read for the next 9 months that doesn't have any references and citations....sob.:cry:

    I know, I'm making the most of as many books as I can while I've still got space in my head for anything else.

    I just finished The Moth Snowstorm by Michael McCarthy. It was an excellent read, I recommend it, but his account of our impact on nature is very sad and quite depressing. That's mostly at the start, and there are lots of uplifting moments, but overall it was sad. Everyone should read it though.

    Now reading Kith by Jay Griffiths. It's about childhood, so I wasn't sure it would be very relevant to me at the moment, but it's so amazingly good I can't put it down. It's giving me lots to think about for when (if) I have my own kids, and it's made me realise how much I really do want them. I also wonder now more than ever whether it's even remotely possible to give them a free and natural childhood in our consumer-driven society.

    More recently, stopping using the internet at home has been a really positive thing for me. Not exactly life saving but definitely life enriching. I can now knit a mean hat :D

    This has become my worst habit. All the things I should be doing, and want to be doing, just somehow get forgotten about while I waste an entire evening mindlessly scrolling facebook or twitter for hours. I really think it's ruining my attention span too. It's like an unhealthy addiction now, so I really have to change it.

    There have been hundreds of swallows over the farm every evening this last week. Tonight I was watching them making their din as the sun set, and a robing was singing somewhere behind me. It was like the two seasons melding together :)

    I finished reading Soil and Soul by Alasdair McIntosh last week. I can't think of another book I've read recently that has spoken to me more urgently than this has. If you care about land matters, not just in Scotland or the UK, but anywhere, then I highly recommend it. It's powerfully written, and has even made me feel a little more open (or understanding?) to the religious upbringing that I turned my back on a long time ago. It's made me feel open to becoming more community-minded too, at the same time as being more thrifty and self-sufficient. I don't know about you lot, but the world has seemed very bleak to me lately. I feel like this was an important book to read at this time.

    Probably not sensible here either, but I never wear it and just try to cover up if I think I'm going to burn. Vit D deficiency is a problem for some of us peely-wally northern types, so I try to strike a balance between absorbing a healthy amount of sunshine while I've got the chance, and not getting burnt.

    Starling, you're a very pretty lady and you have no need to worry about your looks ;)

    I'm noticing big ageing signs here too though. Those lines under my eyes and around my mouth where I smile are quite deep these days and stay put when I'm not smiling. I have a bit of a 'resting bitch face' though I think, so I look better when I smile anyway! I have big lines under my eyes from when I sleep on my side. I could sleep on my back I suppose, but then my sciatica plays up (now who sounds old!!). I also have tons of grey now, but I don't want to dye it as I much prefer the texture of it when natural, and tbh I know I couldn't be bothered with the upkeep.

    I have a facial exercise book, but I can never make myself stick to it. I should really try harder! Long-term single at 32 though - the life of a reclusive cat lady is looking to continue on into old age :S

    - - - Updated - - -

    Also, I have acne on my back too just now, as I do every winter. It tends to clear as soon as the sun gets on it.

    There are yoga classes near me that I keep meaning to go to. The woman who runs them teaches Ashtanga and Iyengar yoga (or a combination of the two). I'd like to work on stretching and strengthening my leg muscles in particular (my IT band is the bane of my life!), and I'd also like to learn about breathing control to see if it can help with my anxiety any. I just need to make the time to actually go!

    Surprisingly sad. My lovely neighbours moved out today, and their house is sitting there dark and empty now. My other neighbour's away a lot, and the other 2 tenants were evicted so their houses could be sold. Apparently ours are being sold off as we move out too. They're asking so much though that they're all sitting empty. At least last time this row was empty there were other people not far away. I'd hate to live in a town, but the countryside can feel pretty damn isolated and lonely sometimes.

    I sometimes wonder about this, though didn't know there was a word for it in limerence.

    I used to let myself get infatuated with people in that way, until I had the experience of being the object of someone else's obsession when I was last in college. His thoughts on me (and another girl the year before) were in no way reflected in reality and were obviously the product of pure fantasy. His behaviour shocked me enough to always be very careful about the way I think of other people, and to make sure any attraction I feel towards someone is based on them as they actually are, and not on how I want them to be.

    So I've hardly fallen for a single person since. It makes me wonder if there's any such thing as 'love', or is it all just that short-lived thing based on fantasy and wishful thinking?