Posts by the dj

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    No, I have not experienced this test myself. I cannot comment for certain as my emotions might be different if I actually went through this, but I think I'd be agonizing for the baby and myself if they wanted me to take the test. But I would also want to know.

    To talk to the doctors again, in person at the hospital, together, I think would be an idea. Make sure they are difinite there is a possible reason to test. Talk through your fears and anxieties with them.

    And talk to me if you need to, my lovely xxx

    Just the one for the mo. It's Daisy's first xmas. Tigerdaddy and I are driving Daisy and Joseph to Kaya and Seb's tomorrow morning and TD is cooking turkey for us all. It's great to be able to celebrate altogether like that. Not many split families can tolerate each other. And he hasn't a telly, so no queens speech, woop woop.

    Twyford the other weekend, Daisy's first santa trip with big sis:

    Last year I did the same, as of the first of jan. I lasted 8 days. Here's what I wished I had researched first:

    Where to find 'replacements' and vegan food I actually liked
    Which sweeties were vegan
    There are practically tons of soya / rice milk varieties, I could have tried and tested each to find one I liked

    Things like that. I was 100% veggie at the time but decided that also for reasons of being lactose intolerant and being so unhealthy, I'd take the plunge. I wish I'd looked into everything before starting because I hadn't realised the sweets I was given for xmas weren't even veggie, never mind vegan, for example.

    Hope this helps in any way!

    I'm now mostly veggie but if I end up eating something that isn't veggie, I'm not going to say several Hail Hippys and whip my skin. I have chosen to eat white meat if I can't find something veggie and dairy free. And maybe one day I'll go vegan. I need to learn how to cook lentils!

    Tried to mould myself into something more acceptable to those around me and everyone wanted something different still.

    So I do what I need to, to feel like me and tone it down where necessary.

    I've chosen to have dreads but keep them as natural coloured as I can. Therefore I don't stand out so much. Though I shaved all but the front 3 off after my last Carter gig, to regrow my hair back, to redread (my scalp had gotten so itchy).

    I mix and match my clothing. You gotta do what you gotta do. Don't chuck the docs and clothes, just save them for the days where you know you don't need to give a damn.

    And apply for housing benefit etc as if that 100 quid is all you're left with, I am certain you're entitled to something to help you meet basic living costs.

    Hope you don't totally turn into someone else, I thought you were cool the way you were :)

    What iskinds of uninteligent is the amount of veggie friends who have called me all kinds of names for this decision...becuase it would be better i was severely anemic then eat a dead animal?...:S

    I started eating meat while pregnant with Daisy for the same reason. I was extremely sick and one of the problems the hospital said they had was I was so anaemic that they thought I'd need transfusing (or something? Wasn't listening properly) if I needed a section or if I lost a lot of blood. Luckily with a lot of hard work my levels went up a little. They said I lost a lot of blood, but I was ok, just had this horrid drip in my arm for 24 hours after she was born. I' ve gone back to being mostly veggie. But I'm trying to eat fish every now and then because I have no bloody vitamin D............. I always feel ashamed of admitting to having eaten something non veggie when with my veggie friends. But that's conditioning I've never lost from being around the wrong sort of people who make you feel like shit for not doing things their way.

    What I'm trying to say is... In answer to the question, I sort of do, but not because I should!

    Happier, because Milkchop randomly started sleeping through (most nights - she's woken once in a night every other night or so) whereas until the beginning of this week, she was waking every 3 hours.

    Sadder, because I know some things will never change, despite promises and all the hoping in the world.

    Poorly, because the osteomalacia has started getting worse again despite the medication, I'm in agony.

    And sort of detached from everything - if someone said I was going to die tomorrow, I'd not give a toss. All I care about is my babies being healthy and happy.

    Anti sickness meds. I had this problem with Daisy in my tummy. Tigerdaddy will back me up - I ended up in hospital with a ruptured oesophagus which is permanently damaged now, from such severe puking. The lining is wrong in there somewhere.

    Prescribed meds may be 'oh no, man, I couldn't possibly take manmade meds' or whatever, but without the antisickness meds, I couldn't even keep fluids in for long.

    IMHO every person is different and we'll manage to eat different things during a bad bout of this. So it's gonna be experimenting and if you eat the same jammy cracker for a week, so be it - baby would rather you ate at all than didn't because you wanted better nutrition.

    What a beautiful name! What does William think of his new baby sister? Kaya just loves 'myyyyy baby sister' as she puts it! She says Daisy isn't mummy's baby, she's Kaya's baby.

    Definitely envious of the home water birth with no drugs. You go, girl! Proud of you!

    Here's to a pretty, happy future, for all three of you xxx


    I don't know how to not take it personally when all I see of her is moody. I'd love to not be the one in charge for a while, as I think I might be on the verge of doing it all wrong.

    Kai is 4 but this rings a big bell - when Seb moved out and I was alone with Kai, I was there to discipline her, make her go to bed, eat things she didn't want to... So when I saw her pleased to see him, it hurt me because I got the grouchy child, not the happy-to-see-me child. Those of us who have been in the position of single-parenting a child of any age (pretty much), feel the same sometimes. You are not alone.

    I can't help with strategies - my teenager strategies are more suitable for the work I did with them at Wexham - but I remember how I felt as a hormonal teen and you lash out at those who are nearest, who are there at the time, and you'll rarely if ever admit it but it makes you feel so rotten that you did.

    Encouraging her to pack her lunch herself (you can oversee) will mean she isn't worried you're seeing into the private schoolgirl domain that is The Bag. And if she's grumpy at you, you're saying the right thing imho. Keep reminding her you love her and are proud of how much she has grown up into a young woman. No matter how many times your teeth are clenched when you say it!

    Hang in there xxx

    I don't sleep. Am out of sleeping pills. I'm earth-shatteringly exhausted. When I stop doing things, I have time to sit and think, which makes me cry. I'm never going to see my nanna again. My mum will never see her mum again. And my shenanigans on sunday night to try and numb me from the pain in my heart, failed. I didn't get past 'merry' and no one hit me hard enough to distract me. But it doesn feel like I've cracked a thumb knuckle. My thanks go out to the hoardes of people who were here with me all over the weekend. I've felt so loved.

    You make sure you lay food boundaries with housemates re using your bread etc - that's not on.

    I'm trying to do something similar at the moment. Thing is, is a lot of meat is eaten in the house now, and being vegetarian was one of my many ways of keeping my weight down.

    Drinking more water when you 'think' you are hungry is good, but doesn't work as well if you are comfort eating (otherwise I'd be a lot thinner at the moment!) - also chewing sugar free gum helps, if you're not against sweeteners.

    I lost a lot of weight in the first fortnight after having Daisy. but then started eating constantly round the clock because with the boobfeeding, I would get very faint if I didn't because of calorie consumption (I guess). And I've not broken the habit, and the weight I lost after having her, is back on - but I've also changed shape, it's redistributed itself in places it wasn't before. It's making me feel very miserable and ugly too. You'll see what I mean at the Cardiff gig.

    I'm trying to eat less, and mor ehealthily (though this weekend was out cuz it was my birthday) and I've been swimming on a mon/wed when M gets back to have Daisy - but I hate swimming and have just had to separate my dreads with scissors, they unidreaded that badly. So I need to look at other excercise.

    Is there a uni society you can join where you can meet likeminded people who feel about themselves as you do/who are wanting buddies to excercise with?

    Re he tummy, do sit ups every morning. Start with ten and increase by a few every day. Seriously, it helps. It's too late for what damage I did to my tummy but I'm still doing it!