(Gorier bits spoilered for people still eating their dinner, or trying to stomach raspberry sauce :D)
As you ladies seem to be very much in-tune with how to use a mooncup, and seem to swear by them, perhaps you could lend me a hand. I finally gave in and bought a mooncup, which arrived the other day, bang on the day I started my period (convenient ).
Obviously, eager to try it out, I rushed upstairs and tore open the packaging, rinsed it out and tried to get it in. After much grumbling at its apparent hugeness (and this is the pre-baby size! ), and a bit of silicone-origami, I managed to get it wedged inside the bat cave. So far, so good - felt perfectly comfortable and natural on the inside, and the way it gently pressed against the walls seemed to soothe my cramp almost instantly. Great, I thought!
Well, not quite so great - the stem was adamant it would poke its nose out of the entrance no matter how far in I put the thing, making walking etc uncomfortable as it rubbed, as you can imagine. So, out it popped again, for a bit of a trim. I ended up trimming the whole thing after, no matter how short I made the stem, the mooncup seemed to force itself down towards the entrance so the stem would poke out. Most women I know who use the things swear by cutting the whole thing off, anyway, so I thought nothing of it.
Eventually, left with a pretty much stemless mooncup apart from a bit of a pathetic rubbery-nipple-bit at the very apex of the gore-chalice, I went about my day. Didn't feel it migrating south, as it had been doing before, and everything seemed a bit of a revelation.
Well, when it came time to get the thing out was when I started encountering massive problems. Instead of sinking towards the entrance, the whole thing had gone completely north. Without a stem, and being painfully narrow down there, getting purchase on the thing was quantifiably impossible. After much fretting and weeping on the bathroom floor, and at one point, thinking I would have to go to A+E, my brave other half stepped in. Even he struggled massively to get it out, though eventually pop out it did, and everything had felt like such an ordeal that I felt like I'd given birth to a tiny, rubbery baby :o.
At that point, I swore I would never use the horrible thing again, and that I must just not be built right to use it. But, thanks to the lack of other sanitary stuff around the house, a heavily bleeding fanny and, surprisingly, a very encouraging other half, I ended up popping it back in last night. I'm certainly getting the hang of inserting it, but removal is still an enormous problem. I came on really heavily during the night, and by the time I'd woken up, it had already filled and leaked all over the bedsheets.
This time, feeling a little more confident, I nicked off to the bathroom and tried to get it out. Again, impossible to gain purchase on the thing. Blood everywhere. Bathroom looked like something out of CSI.
I tried hopping into the bath in the hopes that breaking the seal and flooding it with water would help get it out, but no luck there either. A surprisingly gore-resistant Mister Mushroom ended up rushing back from work to prise it free from the maw once again, so now I'm sitting here with an extra-light tampon in that I've managed to dig out, which won't hold for more than an hour, wondering what the hell to do with myself.
I really don't want to give up on this, as tampons give me thrush, are bad for me and the environment, and cost a bomb. I really imagined I'd take to this, but I'm just so narrow down there and, I admit, not very confident in my own anatomy.
So, are there any tricks for getting a wedged mooncup out without having to dust off the jaws of life? Has anyone else ever encountered this sort of thing before? I'm really stuck with this, and this has really frightened me off using it for the moment, but I have little other choice.
If you've made it through the essay, I salute you.