Posts by Vampira

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    Hi all,

    I can't think of where else I could get some advice on this situation from. Long story short, a family members mental health has deteriorated significantly over the last couple of weeks and has been really bad the last week. All the family are worried and we've tried our hardest to get him to see a doctor.

    We've had police out because he has been violent, has been aggressive and is not talking or acting coherently. He has been stopping random people in the streets and preaching, talking to people who are not there and has been really confused about reality. He is very delusional and thinks everyone is out to get him. He has had a lot of stress relating to his personal life and has been taking a significant amount of cannabis over the last few months.

    The only problem is we have been trying to get doctors and police involved all weekend and they are refusing to help because although he is showing signs of mental illness he hasn't 'actually' hurt himself or anyone else yet. It is only a matter of time and I can't believe they are going to wait for that to happen. He will NOT go to a doctor because he believes there is nothing wrong with him - how can we possibly get help then??

    Does anyone know how else we can go about getting him some help? We can't have him pushed to something terrible just because the authorities don't want to help and wondering if there's any other ways we can get him the help he needs. We're running around in circles with 111 and its getting us no where.

    Thanks in advance.

    I have four. My dad said I should explain I have a 'couple' and had no choice but to have them due to a relative being unable to cope with them. A white lie, but he said it may work.

    It is definitely a gamble telling them but I'll feel 100% better knowing they know.

    I was wondering if my contract is still valid as they haven't updated it in a year?

    Ok, so when we moved a couple of years ago we were desperate to get out of where we were and had 2 weeks to find a place and move in. I wont go into details but we were having a very difficult time where we were living that made it near on impossible to stay there.

    Eventually we found somewhere that was good, but they did not accept pets. It was the only place we could find in that short amount of time that was nice enough, in the area we needed in our price range.

    When we signed the agreement we made the decision to not tell them about our Cats and if they damaged anything, we would replace or repair it before moving. Unfortunately the letting agency feels the need to pop round ever other month to 'inspect' our property, which is a bit of an issue with the cats. I have asked them how long they continue to do the checks as we are clearly reliable, and we have been here 2 years now, but they haven't given a proper answer. They haven't done a check in 3-4 months but one is due any day.

    This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have damp issues with the house. Every inspection I have told them about this, there is not heating except for 1 electric fire and no ventilation in the bathroom or kitchen, so condensation is always on the walls and windows regardless of whether we continuously have the windows open (which I point out that we shouldn't have to do in the middle of Winter!) There isn't 1 room that the damp doesn't affect but it is tons worse in the bathroom and bedroom.

    I called them up to request permission to paint over the damp/mould with damp proof paint and if I could take the bill off the next rent payment with proof of receipt. Apparently they have to come and check it out AGAIN even though I shown and told them about it LOADS of times. Is this just another reason to come and check up on us? Then the landlord always wants her relatives to come and do the jobs, even though I have offered to do it myself because I don't want strangers in my house for long periods of time (and also because of the pets!!)

    I want to tell them about the cats but I'm scared we'll have to move out immediately. We don't have the financial stability to move right now and my partner is dead set on not moving again until we can afford to buy. BUT another part of me is wondering whether it would be the right thing to do as they obviously don't want to sort the damp problem out.

    What would you do in my situation?

    I know we've done wrong by lying on the tenancy, but we couldn't find anywhere that would accept pets. It's like estate agents don't realise people ACTUALLY have lives. No smoking, no pets, nothing!

    Advice would be much appreciated.

    I have this problem with my dad.

    He has been a smoker for 30+ years, doesn't eat very well and drinks quite a bit (used to drink a lot more but has cut down) Two years ago he had to have a quad bypass surgery as 4 arteries were clogging leading to his heart - he had suffered 2 heart attacks prior - they asked him to stop smoking months before the op but he never, but lied and said he had. It was devestating for everyone around him to see how ill he looked after the op, because of him not stopping smoking. He vowed never to smoke again (my sister also gave up at the same time) but then 1 year later, he decides to pick up smoking again. After going through everything, I was quite outraged, but kept it to myself. I am the only one in my family who doesn't smoke (apart from my sis who quit) and I can never bring myself to lecture people about it because it's their life style choices regardless of what my opinions are. You can only change yourself - only if you want to.

    I love sweet potatoes. I usually bake one in the oven and have it like a normal jacket potato with lots of salad and mayo on the top.

    Also, if you mash it up with carrots, seseme seeds and onion and make them into patties to fry - lovely!

    Also really nice roasted with other veg.. peppers, courgettes, red onions, carrots.

    Not getting my student loan so can't pay any bills
    Car breaking down
    Not having any money to travel to Uni
    Being in constant pain
    People who moan about stupid insignificant things when you have real bloody problems!!

    Good luck. It's horrible to be in a situation where you're ill and no one listens and everyone thinks you're fine! Just because you can do something doesn't mean the pain you feel isn't bad. I can bend down and walk but the pain is awful. I hope it goes well x

    oOoh thanks!

    Yeah I will be using it as a conservatory but I don't want to leave furniture in there and it get ruined in the Winter months.

    I want to be able to spend time in there through the Summer months but its not really appealing with the amount of damp in there!

    When we moved into our new flat we was so happy to have a conservatory and garden included. Because we moved in December we didn't really use the space, but as the weather is getting warmer I want to make it really nice and use is as another living area.

    The only problem is there is damp in the corners and around the windows. I want to put some furniture in there but worried it'll get ruined when the weather changes again.

    Does anyone have any ideas/ know of any ways to get rid of it?

    My sister often tells me it is different when they're your own kids. I love having my niece and nephew but I can't cope more than a night and day.

    I often worry that I would be like that when I have my own children, being moody, too tired to do anything, stressed out because they are in constant need of attention and affection. Don't get me wrong, my niece and nephew bring me so much joy it's unbelievable, but I just feel like I'm too self centred and lazy to give 100% to a child.

    That sounds really wrong, so I told my sister this, and she said she understands, but when you have your own children you understand, and bond differently, and its completely different.

    I get broody but I don't think we'll have kids for a few years yet (unless it's accidental because I don't believe in abortion)

    are you saying that my comment there means people being unpleasant is deserved, because they think he could just take a job cleaning toilets??
    because he applies for crap jobs as well as his 'ideal' ones but they prefer younger less experienced people. presumably because they can pay them less.

    They want the person they can give the less wage to, a person who is not going to stand up for their rights, etc. It is bullshit!

    I agree, rent is absolutely awful! We pay £400 a month for our 1 bed flat, and we're now screwed because I am off sick from my job. If we didn't have such high living costs, we'd probably be able to get by while we figure something out.

    It's the biggest, most awful bill of them all! The fact that most private renters have to put up with poor damp conditions and being ripped off left right and centre from their landlords, too!

    I know, it's awful! They expect you to live off so little, it makes me so fucking angry! And the comments people make about my family being on benefits make me so angry, when they try their best to be independent it's still not enough.

    I've just found out I can't claim a penny off benefits because aparently £200 a week is enough to pay all bills AND eat AND pay travel expenses for Jamie to go to work. How is this when our rent & council tax costs over £110 a week? Jamie has to put £40 in the car every week for work.

    Don't pay attention to any of that shit, they're just ignorant because everything has been placed on a silver plate off mommy and daddy!!! Those people don't know what it's like to pay bills and struggle to find money to feed yourself!!!

    I keep telling myself its got to get better, and you've got to stay positive :hug:

    Hi all, thanks for all the advice you have given me.

    I pushed my GP because of the symptoms spreading, I was making appointment after appointment and he sent me for blood tests on Monday because he wants 'to rule anything serious out'..... but what if it is something serious?! Just because I am young doesn't mean I haven't got something wrong with me!

    My physio has also referred me to the Orthopedic centre but still waiting to hear from them.

    Fingers crossed that I have some answers soon!

    I was a fool to go back to work, I think!

    I lasted 4 days, and on Thursday night it was not only my back that was swollen, it was all of my right hip. I obviously called my docs to get an appointmet - but there weren't any. Went to the Walk in centre, he's gave me tramadol and sent me home.

    I could barely move my legs/feet on Friday, and couldn't get out of bed without trying REALLY hard to send messages to my legs. The back pain has increased, even when taking tramadol and I am so uncomfortable! Most of the time when I am on my legs I feel so weak and that I could fall down at any minute. Jamie is even having to help me put my slippers and trousers on sometimes cuz I just can't bend!!!

    I have also lost 7 pounds in like a week and a half two weeks, and my appetite isn't as big as it usually is.

    Losing my mind now! :(