Posts by yoursinuk

    put simply I suppose, some like the convenience of a one off or occasional sexual encounter but no attraction to total strangers, they need a bit more intimacy than that, so they create the intimacy and get to know them as a route to the sexual encounter being satisfying. I must admit I have only come across this a couple of times in my "short" :whistle: life.. but it is out there. in the meantime i shall return to my planet;)

    I know people get hurt in relationships.. but? we are not talking about relationships we are talking about events leading to an intimate one off sexual encounter. I have known couples who have gone out clubbing with the sole intention of bringing home someone to share sexually.. fair enough.. all parties eyes open. I have know couples with a regular "friend" that both or one of them shares with the others knowledge.. the danger is when someone truly thinks they are entering a friendship with a attatched person, couple or single person and actually they are purely a target for gaining the intimacy that person/couple need to fulfill their sexual needs. I accept people as adults make informed choices and indeed have a choice.. I am also aware that some use that as an excuse to justify their own behaviour. i accept most, when sexually ambushed can make an informed decision and choice, however, those more vulnerable sometimes can not. It could even be the friendship is worth the upset if the grooming has been successful by the single or couple. and i am not saying this move is always conscious..


    That's a bit of a cynical view. And isn't it a little patronising to think of an adult as being "groomed"? Surely as adults, we're equipped to make our own decisions (granted, I think it's slightly different if we're talking about teenagers)? If you stretch the definition of "grooming" to that degree, then isn't it "grooming" when we present our best side to people, or try and make them laugh, or when we try to create a good impression? :S

    Oh but i am cynical :) grooming does not have to have anything to do with age. It is surely more to do with vulnerability. if a person takes advantage of someones weaknesses to their own ends.. the need for attention, the need for a friend, the need for help,.. then whatever the age it is predatory. To flirt, build up trust, create a friendship.. where one party needs the friendship and the other has the motive of creating intimacy for sex is just satisfying the predator and will often leave the person who was seduced by the grooming feeling anything from used to damaged. To suggest age would justify such action is surely a way of the predator living with his motives. full grown adults can be hurt, abused and taken advantage of just as easily as children. Only the predator knows his intent from the start i am sure.. and normally it is a strong driver in their life and they have a list of conquests to look back on.. as like any predator.. they have a pattern they follow.

    understand that if there are deep seated fundamental issues in a relationship, then stress induced paranoia can start kicking in and doubt will occur even when there is no reason or justification. So if you feel trust is broken, it may not be because anything has actually been done or said to justify that, however the strength if feeling can be so real and strong you cant fight it with logic. trying to argue yourself out of it leads to self doubt in your judgement.. indeed in your very self. the relationship then dies underneath it all quite quickly but.. because you doubt your instincts.. you stay.. and it worsens. and you are never sure afterwards how much of your instinct was right and how much was stress induced.bottom line my friend..if it starts.. get out as early and soon as you can. it need not be baggage for future relationships.. but if it does rear its head.. dont waste time just get out.

    can people clarify what they mean by a one night stand.. because i wonder if there are misunderstandings here. I classify a one night stand as a one of sexual enbcounter with someone YOU DID NOT KNOW before the encounter..or after.

    I do wonder if some see a one off sexual encounter with someone they have had previous contact with, whether online or as a friend, or a partners partner even, as a one night stand.

    The first I have no issue with. The second I think is potentially dangerous and one party may well be "grooming" the other through all the usual grooming methods to satify their own predatory needs, without much thought for the other party in the longer term.

    indeed. limited to 12v appliances has led to some great discoveries of toys of convenience. the only odd thing i was given was a pink usb "neck massager" i think her daughter actually got it from ann sumers and is slightly amused that her mum thought it would be a good gift to give me for christmas (last year) needless to say i am not sure i have the right type of "neck" to massage with it :)

    It's bad, theres not enough social housing, so the gov rely on people to look to the private market which a lot of people can not afford without proper housing benefit. The rents some landlords charge these days is disgusting, and some places to rent if your on a low income are absolute shitholes and not fit to live in. :(

    something has to give. there are going to be loads of empty private rented after the feb changes. why am i cynical that market forces will reduce rents tho :(

    i use adrian flux. still has bus on the log book. in fact the dvla are now saying that the log book should match what it looks like and not what it is used for, so if it looks like a minibus outside then you cant change it. when i insured with them i told them it was already converted and they didnt question it although it is still registered as a bus. the class of mot has nothing to do with the log book, as long as it has a bed and is fitted out.. you can class IV mot it. also go for a limited mileage to save a few pennies. phone for a quote as if you have already bought it.. find one on ebay for a reg.