Posts by Starling

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    i can only speak from my own experience.
    i am now on my third long term relationship, not counting the very short one that fooked my life over, and my experience is that if you love someone you don't look elsewhere for anything, because if you love someone they are everything.

    if you are looking elsewhere i don't think you can truly want to be with your partner *unless* you have both agreed on an open or poly or some other kind of non-exclusive relationship *first* and you both agreed.

    I agree with this. Finding other people attractive is the norm, but if you're having wild fantasies and concerned enough to ask for advice on a forum, I'd guess something is wrong. You've also only been with your boyfriend for six months - you should still be in the honeymoon phase!

    I'm just wondering about this for my dad.

    He works part time, 3 days a week. His employer has worked out that he should get 17 days annual leave. I'm assuming this is 20 + 8 (bank holidays), reduced to reflect 3 days work instead of 5.

    However, his employer is making him include his normal days off as annual leave, if they fall between days off. For example. His normal working days are Wed-Fri. He went on holiday from Friday to Wednesday and they recorded that as four days annual leave (Friday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday). This doesn't sound right to me. Should it be two days?

    I would say dont try the cab or acos - their first step will be dialogue with your ex employer which will warn them what you are up to, and give them time to prepare (even fabricate) a case against you.

    Eh? They could do that? I thought it was confidential? I haven't mentioned the name of my company to them.

    Ok, I might as well just tell you guys that I am currently pregnant and in my probation period! So, my circumstances mean that I can claim unfair dismissal, despite the short time that I've worked there. The problem comes with the probation period.

    Starling, do you live at home? Or have parents who have house insurance?
    Do you have motor insurance ?
    Some of these insurance policies we take out often include FREE legal cover. Everything is worth looking into at times. I don't know of any other ports of call. Student union from the last uni/college you frequented may have contacts.
    Did you like your job? I know you put yourself out finding work and uprooting for the right post.

    I have motor insurance with AXA. That's all really. I'll look into it - thank you for the suggestion. It's a difficult situation to explain really and I'd rather not say too much on here. I just started the job in August, so I haven't been there long.

    I had problens years ago and contacted ACAS they really helped but not sure how things are with cut backs etc with what they can offer

    Thanks. I have spoken to ACAS a number of times already, plus some other related helplines.

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    If it's a gender issue there's LGBT for advice and support. My mate had problems with her bank after an employee took the rise / got awkward over her change when she wanted to alter her account from Mr to Ms. The local help group advised her quite well and I believe they had dedicated soliciters. The banks head office was falling over themselves to put the matter right when they were mentioned.

    Hi... it's not an LGBT issue, but thank you for the advice anyway :)

    Hi guys, I don't want to post any details here about this. I just wondered if anyone had any experience or advice on this matter, or could recommend someone (a lawyer?!) who could help me out. My situation is complicated and involves discrimination.

    Please PM me if you think you can help - thanks!

    My "best" friend has got a new mobile number and hasn't bothered telling me. She's also had a new house for over a year and hasn't asked me to visit. We've been best friends for 20 years, but it has been a struggle. She seems to constantly test me, whilst failing to notice her own inadequacies. She doesn't seem to realise that it takes two!

    I'm better off with more casual friends, who don't hold grudges.

    You've mentioned Coraline. I thoroughly recommend more Neil Gaiman, especially "Neverwhere", "American Gods" and "The Anancy Boys". "Stardust" filled me with horror and wonder. "The Graveyard Book" made me cry.

    Yes, I like magical fantasy with some elements of realism too. Have you tried the Spellsinger books, by Alan Dean Foster? Does Salman Rushdie count? I ought to read "The Satanic Verses" again. Maybe that's outside the genre :beard:

    I had a build up of credits in my Audible account, so I've downloaded "Neverwhere", "The Graveyard Book" and "The Ocean at the End of the Lane" (recommended by likahamadoolihan, below). I haven't tried Spellsinger or Rushdie, unfortunately.

    I also ordered Skellig; a short children's story.

    Unfortunately the Gabriel Garcia Marquez audiobooks don't seem to have great narrators, so I may try to get hard copies of those.

    "Magical realism is a fiction genre in which magical elements blend to create a realistic atmosphere that accesses a deeper understanding of reality."

    I recently discovered that this is my type of fantasy. I'm not keen on fantasy novels like Lord of the Rings. They're too far gone. I prefer magical things that happen in the real world. Like Pan's Labyrinth, Coraline, The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe, Alice in Wonderland and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

    What type of fantasy do you like?

    I have low blood pressure (97/58) but it has always been that way and is normal for me. I guess that doesn't mean it can't cause me problems now or in the future.

    I can't get to the doctors until a week or two, so thought I could try something in the meantime. I could definitely drink more water and sleep more :)

    It's difficult to describe really. Little movements of my head made me feel dizzy for a second or two, and it lasted for maybe an hour.

    This has happened twice now. The first time was last week when I was on my fifth early morning (4am), so I thought it was related to being tired, and maybe hungry. It went away once I'd eaten and had a rest. The second time was this morning at a normal time (around 8am) although I was quite tired. It went away about an hour after I'd eaten.

    Someone mentioned a possible ear infection? Dehydration? Maybe vertigo? Brain tumour.... etc....

    Any ideas?

    It seems to be a problem right now, in relationships. I feel quite annoyed if someone checks social media when they're with me or disappears, for even a short period, to do something that seems unimportant to me. Even replying to messages can wait in the majority of cases. I feel like I haven't got their full attention or that I'm not their priority, and the regular alerts and "pings" drive me crazy.

    My hope for the future is to be with someone who'd like to toss our mobile phones in the bin :)

    Do you have any other issues/symptoms that are going on during your fatigue?
    Blotchy rash after being in the sun? Bruising? Blood dots on arms or legs? Breathlesness? Itchiness?

    How are things now? Still feel tired?

    No. I've always had those teeny tiny blood dots on my arms.

    Yeah, I'm still feeling tired. I almost didn't come into work today, but I'm here now. I just feel drained and like I can't deal with any of the little things that need to be done (tidying/cleaning/shopping) or the events coming up (weddings/holidays/training). I want to hibernate...... in the middle of summer!

    At one point I was drinking 7 energy drinks and about 6 coffees a day! I got to the point where I could drink an energy drink and fall asleep for a few hours in the middle of the day ... it's not proven science, but I think it put my adrenal gland under so much stress that I just burnt out from it!

    Anyway, after a complete caffeine withdrawal and several months abstinence I now limit myself to about 3 cups a day, with no energy drinks at all, and decaff everything after about 2pm.

    I only have around 3 cups a day. If I'm at home, I'll have them all in the morning. At work I have one in the afternoon. I drink peppermint and chamomile after that.

    I wish I could get that much sleep! It seems like all the possible reasons for oversleeping cross over with the reasons for insomnia!
    Do you notice any connection to your monthly cycle at all? I do massively....

    I haven't really noticed anything, but haven't paid any particular attention to it.

    sleeping to much is one of the signs of depression .. b12 down is a problem diabetics taking metformin they usually have b12 injections as you can not get enough b12 because of the metformin effects ..but there is no substitute for a good docter.. :eek: get rid of the sugar in coffee ... white and deadly is sugar ..cut out as much as possible

    When I first read this I didn't think it was depression as I felt normal, but I have felt down over the last couple of days, plus even more tired! I had another 5 hour nap yesterday, followed by about 8 hours last night (could have had more!).

    There's a lot going on in my life right now. I wonder if it's stress related. I'm leaving my job next week, then have two weeks holiday. However, those two weeks, plus weekends, are jam packed. I'll only be at home for a few days. I have lots of stuff that needs doing at home and no time to do it. My weekends look to be full from now on (seeing someone and bird ringing). I'm just wondering when the hell I'm going to have the time to do anything.

    I've got a new job that involves giving 3 day training courses! I'm usually scared but I'm going for it. Two people do it, so I'm hoping I'll have time to get used to it and maybe I'll get over this hurdle once and for all!

    I hadn't thought of B12. I take vitamin C with my iron sometimes. Sick of popping pills!

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    Head above the parapet then duck.

    Erm have you thought of erm getting one of those erm kit things from the chemists?
    Just to be sure.

    It's not that ;)

    In seriousness I found various supplements and exercise helped immensely with my energy levels in the past......but overall I found my employer benefits from that work and expense and I do not so I stopped because it was tireing to maintain.

    You could ask your GP for a health check if it may be otherwise......or try to start a revolution.... Or stay in bed til you can't sleep anymore.

    I have similar problems and no solution except caffeine to go and sedatives and alcohol to stop.

    I think caffeine might be part of the problem! Plus all of the sugar I have with it.

    I seem to be tired all of the time, as well as lacking in motivation. I'm really struggling to get up in the mornings. I used to be really good at it and never used the snooze button. Now I'm snoozing for over an hour! It doesn't seem to matter how much sleep I get.

    I've been taking ferrous fumarate because my ferritin levels were low about 6 months ago. Hopefully, they have increased (I'm waiting for blood test results.

    Other than that, I haven't been exercising as much as I used to. I wonder if that could be making me feel lazy?

    I had a 5 hour nap today, and suspect that it won't affect my sleep tonight.