Posts by Kerrie-anne

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    The fact that even if I comply, the gas twats have the cheek to say I still might get charged if I'm not there. EVEN IF IT ISN'T MY FAULT!
    I phone, they can can only give me a FIVE hour window. I tell them my partner cant take time off work, we cant afford it. For fucks sake, that's how we are in debt, we are skint!
    Then I tell them I have to do school run. I cant not take kids to school.
    So they say they have put a note on it, but the engineer might not take any notice and come in his own time!
    If he does and I'm not home, they will charge me £50!
    And apparently its ME being non-compliant WTF!


    If I don't take kids to school I will be moaned at. I don't have anyone to house sit. The meter isn't even in my property, but I must be here anyway. He argued my partner could take a day off, after all he must have holiday. If he takes a day off, we loose more than the £50 fine.
    And if I don't take my chances and book it in, it goes to court and I get charged £250 instead


    So miserable, it isn't even my fault, my neighbour wouldn't give us access. They had to make her allow us and them.
    So fuming right now :wall:

    being someone who lives in a privately rented property on benefits, i can say that yes we get a lot of help, but, my partner is in full time employment and no employer would touch me as id have so much time off. My eldest has a lot of time off school, on average one day a week, sometimes more. I suffer migraines so I probably get 4/5 a month sometimes.
    My partner is on a flat 15000 a year. my rent is 850 a month. which my benefits for is now capped. c/t is quite a lot as well and we don't get help with this. rent is helped at about 350 a month, the rest played by us. I get 240 a week in tax credits. by the time iv done a basic shop, played some stuff, bought whatever kids need clothing wise, my eldest needs new shoes every month and school kit as she is always loosing/ breaking stuff, no fault of her own. she has a genetic condition that means i have to take her to hospital appointments and things that the disability living allowance or carers allowance don't recognise, a lot of people have struggled to get it and be turned down with nf1 like my daughter (never brand named and only a basic wardrobe) its all gone. we have no savings.
    we cant afford to pay utility bills, we try, but most of them go unpaid. If i did get a job the nursery fees would be swallowed up by my wages, I chose a nursery that took the government scheme that pays up to 15 hours a week (everyone is entitled to this regardless, it is not means tested) which is caped and was a mid priced nursery. when she goes to school full time in December 2013 i will definitely be seeking full time employment. my eldest will be 15. my nan is looking after my very disabled and elderly granddad but by that time, very sadly, he will have popped his clogs. so i will have some help when she has a sick day.


    we have tried to down size, i had almost got a house a couple of weeks ago, but they then bailed out so i am stuck here for longer. if i could find a cheaper home i would move. but out of dozens of enquiries, no one will touch us because we are on benefits.
    I have been to the council, we don't stand a hope in hell of being housed. there are so many people in dire need, that the new (ish) bidding system means that the only people being given h/a or council properties are people in dire conditions or living in hostels/temp accommodation due to being homeless. even though it would mean that we would pay all of our rent with no help and could save and pay our bills.
    I'm not sure all my waffling is relevant to the conversation, but I just thought id share what it is like for someone these papers keep moaning about.


    if you want my opinion i think its all very confusing. i don't have a clue what to do. all i know is that it is very stressful and i don't understand politics enough to work out a solution.

    I changed my daughters nursery, to a much nicer (twice the price though) one. I have only had one slip up and I cant even prove they did, but I had a word with them and it seems the person that poss gave her a pork sausage roll now knows and usually assures me of what she had to eat.
    I'm trying to be a lot calmer about it all, after all, just because a person is being ignorant it doesnt mean that it is there fault. They may just have never been educated or wary of alternative options.

    Well that sounds like a better plan. I was going to have it don't all pro-fesh stylie, as I'm keen to have nice dreads that are fairly uniform. (fussy cow alert


    But any help and advice is much appreciated! I don't actually know a single hipped out person, I am the one and only. (and now I have a song stuck in my delicate little head :S)

    Well it looks beautiful and so idyllic it makes me jelous.


    Well done on achieving what you wanted and I hope the future pans out exactly how you would like it to.


    Please upload pics of kingfishers when they arrive :D

    Poppy is now a big three, she can convey all her emotions and has a huge vocabulary and is the most sociable little girl I have ever known. she is most beautiful happy and her personality sparkles all of the time. I love it most when she see's me or her Dad a bit down or stressed and just hugs us and seems to understand perfectly! :wub:


    Jazmin is 9 going on 40! She is so intelligent it amazes me. We have been told that she will breeze her 11+ and get into the good grammar school near us. she is popular and very beautiful and also very sporty. She can stilt walk and is artistic. She is also pretty self sufficient if need be. :cool:


    Billie is 13 and VERY hormonal lol she is battling through her struggles with schooling (nf1 a genetic disorder) and is slowly making friends and even better, managing to keep them, as she has always found social interaction a massive struggle. She is so kind and sharing and loving. She is artistic and is enjoying mixing with kids outside of school. She is very pretty and learned in the sarcastic tongue...so proud lol! :D

    I kind of know how you feel. I was married (very young) and we had two kids together. it was a violent and rocky relationship. he strayed in and out of our lives and treated us badly. then he left for good. The neighbors and myself called the police a few times. but stupidly when he became homeless and destitute because of his addictions i gave him a roof over his head and suffice to say that he mistreated it.
    So fearing for us I got up and left one day and bought people round to help get my stuff.
    He didn't ask to see kids for months and when he did, he was drunk. this pattern wen on for a year or so. until i said that he was to no longer contact me or my family until he had sorted himself out. he promised he was going to and prove it also, we haven't heard from him since.
    My eldest asked after him for a couple of years until she was around your daughters age, so in the end i just plainly told her the truth, to some extent, sparing her as much as i could. and explaining that some people are best left until they themselves are ready to find you. it may be a short time, it may be never. but reminded her that she has a loving family including a step-dad, that's she called daddy off hr own back.
    My now nine year old cant remember him so doesn't mention it or care, as far as I know.
    she knows that she can go and find him one day when she is old enough, around 18. and i will help her. she has mild learning difficulties, so I feel just in not letting her find him now as it would be too much of a head f*** for her.


    I have the support of most of my family, except two. But to be honest they are not the nicest people and my mum is one of them, she was rejected by her mums new bf after she left and he refused to have her live with them, let alone be a loving step-dad, so suffice to say she has issues. as her mum chose him anyway.


    Just hang in there x

    Love 'em! They taste scrummy, I like them on the firm side, I hate them soggy. My 2 year old will eat one or two, so cant be that bad lol
    And I love spinach, like it best chucked into an Indian curry last min, just enough to make it wilt.

    ergh, I feel so jelous of all the people who don't have to make the kids go to bed before they are ready, just so they can wake up, before they are ready and rush round getting ready for school :rolleyes:


    I wish I could do it with my eldest and youngest, but I have a huge fear of not teaching them enough. My 13 year old was doing maths last night that I and my sister couldn't get our heads around.


    I may have to investigate further.


    How does it work for you guys? Whats it like when 'they' come round and check up on you, do you have to prove they are at a certain standard or whatever?

    Hi, seeing as your children are fully diagnosed, I'm presuming they have an SEN, have the schools not discussed your options?
    I know myself that that is a silly statement, as I struggle with my child's school. If your son does have an SEN (statement of educational needs) then he should be fully entitled to go to a non-mainstream school for kids with extra educational needs.


    I've been trying to get my daughter tested for Dyspraxia, but the pediatrician who agreed it was needed hasn't gotten there finger out there arse for months, despite me chasing them up twice!


    It is a nightmare and truly i do feel for you and the tough choices you feel you have to make.

    How do you guys get on as a whole with educating your kids at home? My kids go to school and I know I couldn't home ed my 9 year old as she is very bright and demanding. her fave place is school. But my 13 year old struggles constantly and has medical issues that means she has a lot of time off school. They are hassling us all the time about it. My partner and I have discussed it for her, but I'd be scared of my response, government wise :rolleyes:

    Thank you all for your input. :) Its nice to hear someone tell me that I can make my own choices! lol


    I did forget to point out that my two oldest children are from my first relationship and so that mother-in-law, isn't, any more. (thank goodness).
    I have a new partner who is wonderful. He respected that I wasn't going to feed our little one meat products at all. Even though he isn't strictly veggie. I did fall on some confusion with his family somewhat. But he supported me in putting them in place. I guess its just an old fashioned view, they have asked him a few times when we are getting her christened, and we just keep reminding them that we're not religious.
    As for school, we switched nursery for my little one. this place totally respects us and what we want. At the price we're paying I'm not surprised :S


    I guess its just a case of battling on! :cool:

    I'm going through same thing, eldest will be 14 in April, next one will be 10 in march and youngest will be 3 in December. So i have a toddler, a 'tween' and a teen!
    Bloody hell are they hard work! My partner had ADHD as well and I also have a jack Russel that thinks he rules the roost and shits on the floor in the night if he doesn't get to sleep on the sofa :S


    My eldest had a genetic disorder which means she isn't as mature as her body looks, and hasn't started her periods yet. So stops are thick and fast. But, not as bad as her younger sister who can be so rude and mean. and even does the whole Jekyll and Hyde thing, where if she wants something or is at school or around friends, she is an angel, but if its at home and i have nothing to give...ohh my lol


    If i had some advice, i guess it would be to stay calm and carry on! Don't take it to heart and definitely allow her to be much more self sufficient. Might be me being silly, but i always think that 'what if I'm not here one day, how will they cope' so they know how to do the housework, can cook basic stuff and get up for school, sometimes on time, make there own lunch and can work the cooker and washing machine.......come to think of it, I'M JUST BLOODY LAZY!
    But obviously I don't use them as slaves, but I do ask them to help out.


    Love and patiance is the key :rolleyes:

    A lot to read and take in, but, I think if bedtime is shared more, partner helps bath or does it alone, giving you time to DE-stress, then you read a story as a family, NO TV for several hours beforehand. Then put in cot, tuck in, with one toy of child's choice, then actually say sleep time, night night. Then if they freak out, leave it a short while, but when you go back in, take it in turns, don't speak, just lay him back down and snuggle up, keep doing this until he falls asleep. it could take days or weeks, but it will happen.
    I did it with my three, it worked for me. My almost three year old drops of instantly now, always around 7:00 unless its a special occasion or were out for some reason. They all slept through from 3 months ish and I've hardly had to do it at all. Routine is the key.
    and if that works, try putting a junior bed in his own room, then allow and encourage him to play in it for a few days, then just explain that he is lucky and has his own room, you might need to go through the routine a few days again, but perseverance is the key.
    Your partner probably is stressed and feeling a little left out, which is normal. But if you work as a team to sort this, the faster you get your alone and together time when little one is getting his well needed rest.


    best wishes from a far from perfect mum lol

    well as I said, if my kids want to eat it, they can. I've served chicken to my eldest before, on her request, she found it disgusting though. Probably because she had been eating chicken burgers at school, part of schools healthy eating plan, and at under £1.00 I'm guessing it wasn't that healthy lol
    For me I don't think eating flesh is that nice, or healthy. and to be honest, I've cooked xmas turkey for my bf and wanted to try it, but felt sick when brought to my mouth. Its been a while now, I was 14 when I went veggie. And my general rule of thumb is that if it isn't good enough for me, I'm no way feeding it to my kids. They are growing up very healthy without it. I give them no vitamin supplements etc, just not needed.
    An i know exactly what you mean about the supermarkets and also with the Indian foods. you can make your own balti sauce, which is pretty yummy, then add quarn or veg or both. Probably not very authentic, but healthy and yum.
    My parents are veggie, so they do support my choices. But other members are not so supportive. I have asked and asked, but I just think they don't agree or support so don't really make an effort, but never min i guess.

    It would appear that I may just have opened a can of worms. :rolleyes:


    I don't feel as though i should comment on other peoples 'ideal' as to what is right and wrong as such. But, I think that the general feeling towards kids staying kids and not watching adult material is the correct one.


    And I don't mind the personal queries about my parents. To be honest I'm at a loss with them and other than moving out of the house I have been renting for the last year, as it belongs to them. Which I cant afford to do. I'm not sure how to deal with it. I could go on all day with tales of how bloody useless and selfish they are, but it wouldn't get me anywhere other than thoroughly fed up. I did banish them from my life once, for about four years. They didn't contact me or I them. They missed out a large part of their grandchildren s lives. Then everyone kept telling me I shouldn't let it go on anymore and make up with them, so i did. :S


    and if i could say one thing to show how awful they can be when they want, its the fact that me or my sister wont allow them to meet mine or her in-laws as we just know they would show us up! we've both been with our partners about seven years give or take.


    I feel as though I will find alternative care if I need it. And if I'm honest i should have known better. So i guess its chin up and carry on!