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UKHippy is a long running online community and of likeminded people exploring all interpretations on what it means to be living an alternative lifestyle -- we welcome discussions on everything related to sustainability, the environment, alternative spirituality, music, festivals, politics and more -- membership of this website is free but supported by the community.

    Stressing about a house move that times right in with my kids starting school (catchment area drama), I don't wana fall into the trap of government schooling which means they'll dictate when we can go anywhere and for how long for the next decade while they fill my kids head fulla crap, if I had a license I'd stick us in a truck n live on the road!!

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    I wish I could spend time with someone playing with her kids in the park without wanting to come home and cry my broody heart out.

    Big squishy hugs coming your way!

    Abit cloudy here too but hoping it might clear abit later! Anyone feel any effects of the full moon? Had a discussion about this on Facebook and lots of different opinions!

    I find this really worrying considering all the damage Monsanto are doing to the environment (and being allowed to get away with!). Prob won't be long before we all have to live in these due to it being too deadly to live outside! :(

    Really informative post, thank you!

    To be honest, right now, i think you are doing the right thing, it is incredibly hard to explain to a child without them having a lot of hurt, and at this age she is far better off not knowing the truth. My sons father was absent from his life (for the most part) from when he was about 18 months, and honestly, things were far happier, more settled and harmonious when he wasnt around. in our case he was schizophrenic, and decided he would rather be mad, take lots of drugs and end up getting chucked out of his housing, than take the antipsychotics and be involved in his life properly, i guess being insane he had more of an excuse but the results were still the same, when the court forced me to let them have contact (even though i could tell he was still ill,) it was disasterous, just started to get to know him, then had another full blown episode and really upset my son over weeks, then beat up my sons grandad in front of him on a visit. im not suggesting that would happen in your case but the emotional effects of seeing all this chaos and pain and strange things had a huge negative impact on my otherwise happy little boy.

    In most cases im all for both parents being as involved as possible in thier childs life, but in some, it's just not worth the pain it causes them. At this age, i think its better that they have a few questions than be faced with the harsh reality. One loving parent is a brilliant thing for a child to have, but when you are battling the negative impact of one destructive one, it is so much harder. You are doing a good job, carry on fielding the questions as bestyou can and let her wonder a little, better that than kleave her wondering whats wrong with her, because she will, kids take a lot on themselves and shes not going to believe that its nothing to do with her personally, and if you explain his haorrible actions, she will wonder if a part of her is horrible too, since she came from him, and thats not worth it, you are not telling her the full story, and i can see why that would feel uncomfortable, but truly,at her age, honesty is not the best policy. dont tell outright lies of course, but ease round the questions, it really is the best way you can protect her right now. hugs to you both.xxxxx

    Thanks so much hun you TOTALLY get it! I'm adopted and was told this at an early age, my parents were great and told me my birth mother wanted a better home for me, etc, tried putting a really caring spin on it all. But I grew up convinced she'd given me up because I wasn't good enough, and that haunted me so bad. I don't want to pass that onto my girl by saying he didn't wana stay, it's awful because he has 3 other kids locally that he's always been involved with, and that's gona really hurt her the day she finds out she was the one he never bothered with!! I don't want her to know but when shes old enough to demand and understand the full story i cant lie! and tbh from what I know about him now he could well have many other children he doesn't bother with so hopefully that'll help her see its HIM with the problem not her.
    She's such a sweet, sensitive and tuned in girl, ill do all in my power and beyond to keep her from any pain. She's never been short of love, people always comment on how close we are and I hope that'll go some way to her thinking "we'll he's never been here so who cares".
    So sorry to hear about the trouble you've had, sounds like its been a very stressful situation for you and you did the right thing shielding your child from his madness! Shame the courts are so slack at spotting future problems which seem so glaringly obvious to the rest of us. But you sound a clued up loving person and your boy is very lucky to have such a protective loving mum :) thank you for your input, it's really appreciated. Xxxxx

    I feel the same! Never fitted in, tried my best! But I just dont seem to be on the same wavelength as most people i know. Always got classed as 'weird, hippy, freak" but now I'm glad to be called those things because I'd rather be me and true to myself than be a sheep blindly following the crowd and ignoring my inner voice! :hippy:

    it disgusts me parents who don't wanna know there kids just cant get me head around it, some people dont know how lucky they are, heart breakin reading this, wish i could help but sounds like wursels cracked it, best of luck

    Yea I too can't understand how people can not bother with their own children. Children are a blessing and my daughter is an absolute diamond, very proud to be her mummy :) it's reassuring to know others would handle it the way I have been, I doubt myself at times so thankyou for all for your replies :) <3

    Yes I fully agree that the truth is far too harsh for her and I've no intention of hurting her feelings with the truth, it's not her fault he's not here and I'd never want her to think it is. I worried about saying he lives with anothe lady now as I didn't want her to think "why, what's wrong with us?" So I just keep on saying that all families are different and that I love her very much and will always do everything I can for her. Thank you for sharing your input :)

    Morning everyone, hope you all slept well! Thought I'd start off this thread (apologies if there's a similar one I haven't seen) so single parents could ask each other parenting questions, here's my question for the day!
    My daughter is 4 and has started asking about where her daddy is (older man, left us when I was pregnant for another woman) and I'm struggling abit on how to explain it to such a young child in a way she'll understand. I've tried so far explaining that all families are different and some have mummies, some have daddies, some have both and some have neither. But it's an indirect answer and I feel like I'm fobbing her off abit.. But I really don't know what else to say aside from the truth that he's a selfish nasty man who refuses to be in her life but causes us trouble where he can, that's a truth she just don't need to hear at such a tender age. I have tried several times over the past 4yrs (the most recent afew weeks ago) to get him involved with her but he couldn't care less and I'm positive that wont change after the last time I tried.
    If there's any other single parents on here that have experienced this I'd be really greatful to hear how you dealt with the situation!
    Much Love to you all..