Here is my cat watching the matrix
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Here is my cat watching the matrix
Just a story by Douglas Adams
This actually did happen to a real person, and the real person was me. I had gone to catch a train. This was April 1976, in Cambridge, U.K. I was a bit early for the train. I'd gotten the time of the train wrong.
I went to get myself a newspaper to do the crossword, and a cup of coffee and a packet of cookies. I went and sat at a table.
I want you to picture the scene. It's very important that you get this very clear in your mind.
Here's the table, newspaper, cup of coffee, packet of cookies. There's a guy sitting opposite me, perfectly ordinary-looking guy wearing a business suit, carrying a briefcase.
It didn't look like he was going to do anything weird. What he did was this: he suddenly leaned across, picked up the packet of cookies, tore it open, took one out, and ate it.
Now this, I have to say, is the sort of thing the British are very bad at dealing with. There's nothing in our background, upbringing, or education that teaches you how to deal with someone who in broad daylight has just stolen your cookies.
You know what would happen if this had been South Central Los Angeles. There would have very quickly been gunfire, helicopters coming in, CNN, you know. . . But in the end, I did what any red-blooded Englishman would do: I ignored it. And I stared at the newspaper, took a sip of coffee, tried to do a clue in the newspaper, couldn't do anything, and thought, what am I going to do?
In the end I thought, nothing for it, I'll just have to go for it, and I tried very hard not to notice the fact that the packet was already mysteriously opened. I took out a cookie for myself. I thought, that settled him. But it hadn't because a moment or two later he did it again. He took another cookie.
Having not mentioned it the first time, it was somehow even harder to raise the subject the second time around. "Excuse me, I couldn't help but notice . . ." I mean, it doesn't really work.
We went through the whole packet like this. When I say the whole packet, I mean there were only about eight cookies, but it felt like a lifetime. He took one, I took one, he took one, I took one. Finally, when we got to the end, he stood up and walked away.
Well, we exchanged meaningful looks, then he walked away, and I breathed a sigh of relief and sat back. A moment or two later the train was coming in, so I tossed back the rest of my coffee, stood up, picked up the newspaper, and underneath the newspaper were my cookies.
The thing I like particularly about this story is the sensation that somewhere in England there has been wandering around for the last quarter-century a perfectly ordinary guy who's had the same exact story, only he doesn't have the punch line.
I love the way of describing this chance of self aware existence as a break between two eternity's of nothing, we could easily spend that entire break trying to figure out what exactly do we mean by nothing, its a hard thing to imagine simply because there is nothing to imagine! nothing is nothing. I like the idea of reincarnation but im gonna hold off on investing entirely in anything till i take the journey my self, i am simply to curious a person to fall prey to a certain uncertainty.
Opinions aside, here are some things i found interesting on the subject
When i was i kid it would be strange for me to wear shoes, i never wore them, id hate having to, when i had to go into town id hate it because it would mean id have to put on a pair of shoes, the kids in the neighborhood though i was a weirdo, but i didn't care cos i had a load of mad stuff to do. as i got older and had to integrate more into society i began to become used to wearing shoes, now i cant get up in the morning with out putting them on. i don't really miss it but i like being bare food when i can, at the beech or on grass is the nicest.
I see you know your onions billsticks good picture lots of texture and autumnal colour
Its mad, knowing that when you stuck something into the ground and it turns into an onion, its like you can use the ground to make things, im sorry, it just kinda blew my mind a little.
Im loving the pictures!
Never have i seen so many great acts in one place an one time! im so fucking excited it cant be expressed in text format.
Im feeling very well thank you
Sorry about pixie beachcomber, its owners like that that give dogs a bad name, specially something as high maintenance as a mastiff!