My maternity leave has ended and so I started back at work on Tuesday. Because of this Aiken has just started going to nursery 2 days a week. He's done so well. The nursery staff say they've never had a child like it for just settling down and getting on with it. Each day he's gone happily into the room, and found something to play with, he smiles when we leave and is apparantly fine all through the day, when we go back to collect him, he's really excited to see us and grins then crawls over for a cuddle. I'm so proud of him, he's coping so well.
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Thank you Annie!
So are you Christian? Hope you do not mind my asking.
Actually no. I beleive that Jesus was a real person, who had a lot to teach us about how to behave and treat others, but I do not veiw him as the messiah, or feel that I have a personal relationship with him, any more than I feel like I have a pesonal relationship with Mahatma Ghandi, who I also think had a lot to teach us. Personally, I think there's a lot of positive stuff to be taken from Buddhism, and I also feel quite drawn to Paganism, in the sense of seeing the spiritual in the natural. But I must stress that these are my personal views and are not typical of most other Quakers I know.Quote
The building that I thought was a church. Was amazing! It was massive and really old with lots of posters on the railings outside and posters on boards outside. I wonder if you know what one it was? It was in central London. Wish I could remember where but me and my friend were walking from Covent Garden down to Camden ( we did not want to get the tube hehe) at the time?
Could it have been Friends House, which is across the road from Euston station? It's a meeting house, but it's also the sort of administrative centre for Quakers in the UK (So before we got married, Chris and I had to get our Quaker marrige certificate from there, for example).Quote
I've found a Quaker meeting house that actually does a course (or so it seems) and one of the titles is " Quakers and Jesus!".
That's quite likely. If you're interrested in finding out a bit more, it might also be worth your while looking out for the course called "Quaker Quest".
Ok, there were loads more responses while I was typing this!
You having a relationship with God through Jesus would not be a problem at all - The empahsis is not on finding the right way, it's on finding the right way for you, so there's an acceptance that what's right for one person would not necessarily be right for another. You would find that Quakers would tend to disagree with you about the essentialness (is that a word?!) of baptism in a physical sense, although many would acknowledge the need for a kind of a personal, spiritual one. However, even though they'd disagree with your view, they'd respect your right to hold it. Actually having been (physically) baptised is not a problem (for example, my husband, who became a Quaker some years ago - before meeting me, was baptised an Anglican as a baby, and this does not cause a problem for him, or for the other people at meeting, at all).
Oh, one thing I haven't mentioned is the concept of there being "that of God in everyone", which is also called "the inner light". This is one reason Quakers don't beleive baptism is necessary - if you've already got Godliness within you, you don't need a ceremony to put it there.
Yes, I am one. I am an Attender, as opposed to a Member, which means I go semi-regularly to meeting on a Sunday, but haven't been through the process to formally join the Religious Society of Friends (which is the more formal name for Quakers).
What has already been said is basically accurate. You wouldn't have gone past a Quaker 'church' though, as Quakers don't have churches, instead there are meeting houses. Despite being places of worship, Meeting houses are a bit different from churches on the inside. The decoration tends to be very plain and simple, there's no altar, and instead of pews, there are chairs or benches facing the centre of the room.
What happens during the meeting tends to be a bit different from what people expect too. Meetings are held in silence, there's no vicar/preist/minister, and anyone how feels moved to speak can do so. There's no set service, and no hymns are sung.
As there's no set creed, Quakers are free to beleive what they like. Many consider themselves Christian, but not all do, and there's no problem with this.
If you feel inclined, you could always go to a meeting (which are usually, but not always held on a Sunday morning). You'd be made welcome but no obligations would be placed upon you.
Last week, Kittycat and I were staying at our Mum's with our kids. At one point, her 2 were hiding behind the sofa - Josh (5 1/2 yrs): "Aunty Anne, I'm invisible!"; Beps (3 yrs): "I'm illivable too!"
Ultimately, I think you need to do what's right for you and your family, and try out different things to see what works for you and your lifestyle, an not worry to much about what's correct. I can tell you my experiences though.
I have both a soft structured carrier and pushchair, but I find I use the carrier much more. I use an Ergobaby carrier, and have done since Aiken was born - you need an extra insert bit when the baby's tiny, and then just use the carrier when they are a bit bigger. When Aiken was smaller, I carried him on my front, but as he's getting bigger, I put him on my back more and more. I do have a woven wrap as well but I haven't found it particularly easy to use, I think this is because I needed to be shown how to tie it in person, rather than trying to learn from a book (and I've only really had the book). I also think a knitted wrap might have been easier to use than a woven one to start with, as it would be stretchy so is probably more forgiving.
Chris likes carrying Aiken too, and we deliberately chose a unisex-looking carrier so it was suitable for both of us to use.
The time I use the carrier most is when we go out. But, because Aiken seems generally happy in the carrier, I will put him in it and wander round the house if he's unsettled at home. I definately find the carrier much more convenient for using public transport, and I don't have any problems going to places where there are steps and no lifts. I did need my husband and a mate to give me a pull when I was walking up a very steep hill recently with Aiken on my back (but I'd've needed help to get a push chair up it too).
Another advantage when he was smaller, was that he was held upright in the carrier, which seemed to help when he had bouts of colick.
There have been times I have found the push chair better though - in very hot weather (it is much warmer having a hot little body tied to you), it was much cooler and comfortable for both of us; I also put him in it when I had to go for a cervical smear; I've used it when buying clothes I needed to try on; and I could see how it might be useful at the swimming pool, so you've got somewhere dry to put the baby down when you've got them dried and dressed.
There are a few things which I find useful when I'm carrying Aiken - when I carry him on my front, a rucksac style changing bag works well, when he's on my back, a shoulder bag seems better. I have a pouch which fits on the waist belt of the carrier, which I put things like my keys, wallet and phone in, so they're handy. I have a wheely shopping bag which I use for trips to the supermarket, it folds up as well, so I can put it in the changing bag when it's empty. I have a mirror which I use when he's on my back so I can see if him (check if he's asleep and so on).
If you can, it might be worth trying a range of slings, carriers and so on with a weighted doll inside (the place we bought the carrier from had one of these) so you can get an idea of what it's going to feel like with a baby in there.
I thought of a few more things you might want to consder - I expect you could make them if you wanted - washable breast pads and washable wipes
I agree with what's been suggested so far, and I also think you'll need:
- some kind of waterproof cover for nappies (otherwise the nappies will leak and you're going to have a lot of extra washing and will probably need more clothes than suggested). Not sure about plastic free ones, though
- depending on the style of your nappies, you might need nappy pins or nappy nippas
- bottom sheets for moses basket (minimum 2)
- either top sheets and blankets or baby sleeping bags (minimum 2)
- some kind of changing bag to take with you when you go out.` Carrying Aiken on my front when he was tiny, I found a rucksac style one was best, but now he's bigger and I put him on my back, a shoulder bag is better.
If I think of anything else, I'll add it.`
Some kids in the USA have been told they can't attend school because they haven't been vaccinated.... I heard a report about it on the radio a few months ago, but I can't be any less vague about my source than that. Maybe it's only particular schools, or certain states that do this - not sure. It's one of the reasons some parents home-school their children in the states.
having an immunisation doesnt mean you wont get it.
Although, not all vaccines claim to stop you getting the illness, some are given with the intention that if you catch it that you won't be as ill.
I can accept that vaccinations are a money maker for drug companies (and can therefore see how it's in the intrests of those companies for as many vaccines to be used as possible) but I don't understand how it makes money for GPs?
My son has had everything offered so far, and will be having all the other immunisations too. Although I accept that there is probably a theoretical risk to having the jabs, it is very slight, as far as I can see.
What we seem to have forgotten, in my view, is that the diseases that these immunisations are against are extremely nasty themselves - measles can be fatal, for example, if you catch it and you haven't had the jab. As already mentioned, the benefits outweigh the risks in my oppinion.
I know there was some pretty scarey stuff written about MMR a few years ago and I can understand parents' anxieties about it, but I think the research it was based on has been pretty comprehensively discredited now.
We've had discussions about this in the past - it might be worth using the 'search' to see if you can track down any of the old threads.
Aiken has started saying "mum/mumma" and "dad/dadda", and it's really clear that it's not just random babbling, he's calling to us
In a similar vein, I've just had to pay the DVLA £20 for the 'priviledge' of renewing the photo on my driving licence. It's not me that decided that I want to change the photo, it's the DVLA who have told me I must do this, but still, I have to pay for it.
EDIT: I mean in a similar vein to having to pay almost 80 quid for a passport, not the cost of applying for British Citizenship
There is a step up from our kitchen into the rest of the house, and Aiken has shown he can crawl up it. I don't know whether to be proud or terrified, to be honest!
has he got his own tankard yet?;):D
Not yet, but you've just given me a great idea. Most of us, instead of metal tankards have plastic glasses/tankards which have been individually decorated by one of my fellow-dancers - makes it much easier to pick out your own pint from amoung everyone else's. Perhaps I'll ask her to decorate one of Aiken's cups in the same style
We went to the zoo, and my nephew, Josh (then aged 5) was very excited about seeing all the animals. I said, "Josh, when you grow up, would you like to work at a zoo?"
"Oooh, yes!" he said, "I'm gonna be a giraffe!"
My mum was a teacher, and one day a child came to her in floods of tears saying a child had said "the s-word" to him. Eventually, she persuaded him to tell her what the other child had said (he didn't want to say the 'bad word' himself). "H-he called me a Silly-Billy!"
Have to admit, if I had that in my fridge I'd feel much more inclined to pour it down my neck than over my head!
I've heard that eggs are good, but I haven't tried them myself. I do remember being told to use cold water to rinse the egg out though, as if you use hot, you can get left with bits of scrambled egg in your hair. I use a Lush beer shampoo, and don't usually need to use conditioner with it, so I'd imagine beer would be good too. My guess would be that stout or ale would be better than fizzy lager.
Aiken went through a spell of wanting me, not Chris, all the time when he was quite tiny and then it passed. In fact a couple of weekends ago, he had a day where he made it clear that appart from when he was actually being b/f, he wanted to be with Daddy. I felt quite surplus to requirements!
Personally, I would disagree with the dj's suggestion of expressing and Dad using a bottle for occasional feeds at this stage - in my oppinion, it's still too early as b/f hasn't been straightforward for you and you run the risk of it making the b/f more difficult. You can always introduce it later, and I'm sure you're more than caple of deciding if/when to do that.
I do agree, however, that it's good to have something that is Dad's specific job. Chris has done almost all Aiken's baths since he was born and they have special bonding time then.
An other thing to bear in mind, I think, is that you will be the main source of comfort/security for Maya right now (I think it's just the way it is with breastfed babies - they spend lots of time with Mum who gives them what they want/need, and is usually the person who can sort it out, by offereing milk, if they are crying)..... and you've just moved house. She may be more aware of the change than you realise and it's not surprising if she's a bit clingy, if that's the case. The first few nights after we moved, Aiken woke in the night and cried with a real 'panicy' tone to his cry. He was about 6 months at the time. He settled very quickly once one of us picked him up, or even spoke to him, I think it was a kind of "omg! I don't know where I am!" reaction when he woke.
And you're right - they are different people, they are bound to have different personalities!
After the baby's born (and once you're up to it, and so on) post the details (name, birth date etc.) in this thread, and I'll update the list on the first page.
Yes, I'm resisting the urge to fiddle with it - although the temptation is strong!
We opted not to find out either, and quite a lot of people were surprised about that. Don't ask me how, but I knew I was having a boy though - I'd have been amazed if he'd come out without dangly bits! In fact he did have a few pink babygrows when he was tiny - he wasn't bothered by what colour he was wearing!
This thread makes me smile
He did the original peircing with a needle, and the stud is flat with quite a long (at least 1cm I'd say) straight bit, that then bends at right angles and bends again. I think it's surgical steel. It's kind of tucked into the hollow on the side of my nose.
Appart from the fact it was a bit red from where I'd tried to get it back in, he said it looked very good and I must have been looking after it properly.
I'm pretty sure I didn't catch it in the bedding, I think I pulled it out with my fingers while I was asleep. I'm seriously thinking of putting socks on my hands tonight to stop me doing it again. Sweaty though.
Can you get scratch mitts in adult sizes? might be the answer.
I managed to pull my new (done last Saturday) nose stud out in my sleep last night. It suddenly became really painful and that woke me up. When I got out of bed checked in the mirror, it was hanging almost the whole way out. I cleaned it up and tried to put it back in but I couldn't, and all the poking and prodding began to make it sore so I reckoned I was best off leaving it and going back to the shop this morning.
The shop was due to open at 10.30, so at 10.25 Aiken and I were standing outside - as were most of the staff. Eventually, at some time just before 11, the bloke who I think is the owner rushed up with the keys, looking all flustered, with his hair all wet and so on. Turned out that he'd forgotten the woman who normally opens up on a Friday was away at a festi this week, so he needed to come and do it.
Anyway, they had a look and warned me it might have closed up, but the guy who'd done it in the first place was there and (after I'd negotiated the very steep steps with Aiken on my front) he opened up the piercing again with a 'needle' and then was able to put the stud back in. It was sore though, almost worse than when I had it done in the first place.
SO fingers crossed I don't pull it out again.
What do we reckon - will it just heal up as normal now?
It's amazing how much you can see, isn't it?
Do you have a due date now?
Please don't copy and paste huge sections of text like this from another website - it's much better to give a short quote and/or a summary and a link to your original source.
Also, there is no point in starting two identical threads, particularly not in the same forum, this creates extra work for the mod team.
I know it's hard at the minute, but you're doing so well to keep going.
If you are able to stick at it, in the long run it really will be worth it, beleive me. I came so close to giving up on the breastfeeding a number of times when Aiken was tiny, however, now it's the easiest thing in the world and much easier than faffing about with bottles and formula or breast pumps would have been. I wish there could have been a way to show myself when I was at my lowest, most desperate, most disillusioned point how much better things would get.
It will get better, I promise.