Posts by elfqueenofrohan

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UKHippy is a long running online community and of likeminded people exploring all interpretations on what it means to be living an alternative lifestyle -- we welcome discussions on everything related to sustainability, the environment, alternative spirituality, music, festivals, politics and more -- membership of this website is free but supported by the community.

    just wanted to say that since i moved house a month ago, i've found a breastfeeding group and the health visitors there are pro co-sleeping and i've met other mummys who do the same (some with baby just in bed between mum and dad) so i've been feeling a lot more confident about it. it helps so much having other people to talk to in person. as great as having the forum is it's not quite the same as chatting to people face to face! i did get made t feel crappy for breastfeeding at another group tho, all the other mums were bottle feedng and chatting about teats and thngs and so i couldn't join in, and then wen i started feeding her i got several dirty looks :( it's funny, never had any dirty looks or comments from ppl apart from at a mother/baby group! strange world.

    i've been told that when baby gets teeth, stop feeding it breastmilk. makes me wonder what happens to poor babies born with teeth!!
    but i live in quite a poor area, and apparently poorer areas have lower breastfeeding stats. which is illogical to me because if you have less money, why would you opt for buying formula (when you have the choice) o.o
    Tho there was a programme on last week about breastfeeding and it suggested that teenagers don't breastfeed because their boobs are for/about sex :/

    I read about a study in a book on child development.. Japanese and American (USA) babies were shown to respond the same to object. But the mothers responded differently... American mothers responded more positively when the babies played with the objects than them, whereas Japanese mothers responded more positively when their babies interacted with them. the suggestion was that independence is more highly valued than dependence very early on in America. (and I guess we have the same kind of attitude now - perhaps because breastfeeding, co-sleeping etc all limit the mothers personal freedom.)

    one health visitor i spoke to said that 'follow on' formula was invented just so they could advertise formula on tv, as they're not allowed to advertise the first milk stuff any more... though i don't think she had any evidence for this, but i can believe it!

    thanks medusa that group looks good i hadn't actually thought about looking for fb groups!! green parent looks good too. i'll check out those authors too, thank you!
    i assumed it must be that we want children in their own rooms so we can have sex without feeling awkward. couldn't see any other reason.
    my mum gave me a really interesting book on what the 'experts' have advised about upbringing and where baby should sleep, when and how to feed and so on, from over the last few hundred years. was very interesting... and mostly i learnt that it's amazing how we have survived at all (one expert advised not feed to baby until the milk came in as the colostrum was bad O.o)

    thanks everyone - feel a look more confident about my decision now! it's funny how things can get to you. like when i was pregnant i ended up feeling like some kind of failure because everything i read went on about buying things and designing your nursery, and we don't have a spare room for baby and i felt crap because i wasn't doing what i was 'meant' to be doing. but now i realise it's total bollocks - we don't *need* baby to have her own room :S she's not going to sleep or play on her own for a long time.
    so i just can't work out why, if co-sleeping has such advantages, particularly when breastfeeding, why is the idea that it's spoiling your baby, or lazy of you, or whatever, so prevalent? :S why is it something you have to justify?

    i have looked at some online natural parenting stuff medusa, found it difficult to find UK based ones though - a lot of it was American or Australian o.O

    i'll check out lilypadz, thanks :)

    thx sarah that's a great link, lots of really useful stuff on there. makes me feel there are good facts behind my 'intution' as well which is nice.
    glad to hear milk should settle down - it's crazy at the moment, baby gets full on squirted in the face regularly! it feels like there's enough milk for 2 babies sometimes lol. it doesn't really matter but our washing machine just broke and i'm quickly running out of clothes (but i still have a sense of humour about it so we're alright!)

    it's stupid. i think only when you closed the sick jokes thread did it hit me what a dangerous precedent it was. it's difficult because the april jones case is so sensitive, and horrible, but even there, arresting people seems way out of proportion.. no one got arrested for the jokes about maddy mccann did they? and there were a *lot* of them. is being 'grossly offensive' a crime?! if Mr Ahmed believes all soldiers should die, he's entitled to that opinion as long as he makes no indication, or causes incitement to act upon it surely? do we arrest a good proportion of the country that suggest they would like to see the back of Mrs Thatcher?

    yeh i'm being careful, with duvet just on my legs and a big cellular blanket folded in half over me and baby (she's in baby sleeping bags too). it is good to hear of people of have done it and not ruined their children's lives. it would be horrible not to have this forum to talk about it!!!

    i use breast pads in the day.. the washable ones don't last long (and they move!?) but the disposables are good. i often just stuff bits of felt in my bra though if i'm not going out (lumpy boobs!) as they dry easily. but i don't wear a bra at night. it would be more annoying to feed her, as at the moment she just snuggles up to me? though i can see that it might be comfier.

    i know i've been too reliant on books and things, but it has been difficult, being the first of all my friends (apart from dj from here) to have a baby and not being anywhere near family. so it's quite isolating and i can't easily discuss my decisions with people. (it's lonely too when friends aren't interested in baby :( ) the health profs have showed surprise whenever they find out im still breastfeeding. so i've not felt like discussing doing other 'alternative' things. though i hope to join some baby parent groups once i'm nearer cardiff/newport (move next week!)

    well, i've been co-sleeping for 3 months now, with baby in bed next to me and it's lovely. she sleeps better than i do, and doesn't cry in the morning when she wakes because she can already see her mummy. so it seems natural and nice, and we both like it.
    But everything i read, books, online and baby magazines (though i have learnt to avoid these as they go on and on and on about losing baby weight.. ffs i only just had her! i'm busy, leave me alone!) basically is filled with scare stories on bed sharing, or nothing at all. we're told it's best to sleep near baby at night, but that if you're too close you'll kill her. :S and i'm also getting told all sorts about how she won't ever sleep on her own, she'll be in my bed until she is 5, she has to learn to settle herself.
    and it's true, she can't go to sleep without me, except in the car or pram sometimes. it's making me feel like am i doing something wrong???
    I guess I just need some reassurance on this. it is all very well to follow intuition but if everyone and everything is telling you it's not right, it's natural to doubt yourself...

    on a practical note, i leak a *lot* and soak the bed and so have to put a towel down. this is not the comfiest thing to sleep on as it's quite rough. does anyone have any advice on this?

    sounds like a tough situation :( you don't want to be worrying about searching for a job, though i know that's an ideal.. but also, when you become obviously pregnant, it will be very difficult to find one. have you got much support from family? though i assume you've not told them yet. because if your oh is getting so stressed about money and stuff perhaps it might help you to stay with your parents or someone for a bit until he comes to term with the different situation (though i don't know ur rel with them so sorry if it's not relevant!) (because you have to become very unselfish with both money and time once baby has arrived, so if he has difficulty sharing his money with you, he may need some time to come to terms with it going even further!)
    i'm happy to chat if you need it, i was so stressed and anxious during my pregnancy i know i would have liked to have people i could properly talk to (i hardly know anyone with babies and live no where near my or OH's family) - was worried about money (as i couldn't work because of the nature of my job) and was living in a horrible situation (i started getting panic attacks again - i'd not had them since i'd had an abortion) and then got even more stressed because i thought the stress would make me miscarry! it wasn't helpful, but it's only natural to worry, a normal part of being a mother - and i still do now, and imagine i will forever - but the key is to let it only be one (small) aspect of motherhood

    congrats! and it is totally normal. i was completely paranoid for weeks and weeks when i found out i was pregnant... i couldn't get excited or even accept it was happening until the last trimester really. which is a shame as it would have been nice to enjoy the pregnancy a bit more. but when you've had negative experiences it's not unusual. it's easier to disassociate and not form an attachment in case something goes wrong. i *constantly* checked for bleeding, to the point of obessession! and then i did have bleeding at 17 weeks. but was fine. cramping is normal too. mine was worse than any prior period pain (same with my previous pregnancies)
    i think it is very early to be thinking about names and so on - well, personally, i know that would have made it much realer for me and much harder to deal with if something had gone wrong. perhaps have a chat with your oh about this to get him to understand a bit more.
    best of luck though, eat well and stay safe xx

    i never let myself get a really gadgety phone, or even an internet deal.. i hv internet for emergencies but it costs so i don't use it. i can see how addictive using it for fb etc is so i don't give myself the opportunity! i think some gadgets like or the ability to look stuff upcan be useful, but having them always on hand must make u not use other skills surely? (like map reading) (not aiming that at u paul as to climb mountains ur bound to have some navigational skills lol)

    awesome congrats :)
    finally had a look thru things (we're moving house soon so everything is a bit hectic!) and there's 2 black trousers and quite a few black tops. ill weigh them 2moro to see how mch and if it's worth sending them :)

    yeh i've got a few black things i'll weigh them for you. i spent the last few weeks in maxi dresses (tho i guess it's too cold for that now!) and size 16 pj trousers.. they were clearly pjs but i wore them everywhere anyway they were so comfy and you can do what you want when you're pregnant lol. (I had got too big for size 14 maternity clothes by the end, even though i had started pre-preg a size 12 and they were too big then!! i grew a lot lol!)

    there's some white tops you could tie-dye (i dyed some plain white nursing tops to make them more interesting lol). i think there's some black cords and black 3/4 lengths. i'll have to double check tho. you can have them for free anyway if you're interested, just p&p. (i got them for free.)

    ok i filled a big bag for you and it weighs 2 and ahalf kg which is nearly £9 to post. it's all babygrows/bodysuits and some jackets and hats. i don't have any snowsuit or other wintery things as Erin was born in June

    there's sleep suits, body suits, trousers, t-shirts, dresses, skirts, hats and (soft-bottomed) shoes, coats.
    is it for a boy or girl? (or do you not know yet :) ) there's a few hippyish things too. i can put a selection together of whatever you're interested in - it would cost a lot to post the whole lot (i guess about £10+ there is a fair amount!!) so it depends how much you want to spend

    that's an awesome idea :) it's difficult atm as she is too little for toys but wants constant attention/entertainment! i don't mind, she is lovely, but i do need five minutes every now and again lol

    we discovered quite early on that Erin (now 11 weeks) is drawn to the tv... not surprisingly as it's big and colourful and moving... but everything i seem to read on the subject says you shouldn't let children under 2 watch any tv, ideally. i figured a film every now and then when she's older is fine, but this young, is it likely to actually do any damage? she doesn't actively watch it (we're not putting her in front of it, but she's with me all the time and so if we watch something she does too). should i avoid putting it on altogether - is it likely to mess up her eyes/attention span as i've read or is it just scaremongering??? i just got unnerved because she looks at it sometimes now when it's *not* on as if expecting something to be there (or i might be reading too much into that, i don't know how quickly babies learn things:S)