Posts by elfqueenofrohan

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    right.. next stage! what happens when baby starts moving about on her own? cos if i put her to bed, she could then crawl across it, and go splat on the floor. :S what do you do?? i tried putting her to sleep in her cot last night in preperation of this (she's in bed next to me still, with co sleeper cot on her other side) but she got VERY cross and screamed until i put her back in the bed :/ But eveni f she was in the cot, she cud still crawl out and fall onto the floor. :/

    thx for the responses :) it is so helpful to remember it's not personal lol and it happens to lots of people. it was just a total shock, i hadn't expected it..
    I've been very fortunate, as now that we have moved house (from deep in the valleys) there are lots of baby groups in walking distance and so i've been able to make friends with other people nearby - generally they're in the 30s but it doesn't matter, everyone is lovely, pretty much. and i've met people with similar views on upbringing too which is lovely. so i know i am lucky - it must have been much harder as a father, fumps, because i don't imagine there are as many groups you can feel welcome at.
    I guess you drift away from friends at different points anyway... one of my friends asked me if i regretted having my baby... it was then i realised there was some sort of gulf... that question is meaningless now,unanswerable.. because she is here and i love her more than anything, she is not a hypothetical baby, so how can i regret her :S I know what the question meant but it doesn't make sense.


    ptm - that's ok i couldn't have done anyway in the end, my family kept changing their plans about when they were coming down! :/ i'll let you know next time we're over that way :)

    yes, thank you :) I think what you say there is very true - your child is a part of you and so friends need to accept the child too. If they're not, they're rejecting *you* whether they realise it or not.
    But then perhaps it's not something weird to get upset when my baby is called ugly or annoying or spoilt. :(
    Maybe people didn't realise I'd always pick my baby over them! And that's not wrong of me to do that!

    thanks... it does to help to try and think of it as not personal. but i guess it always sucks when you lose friends for whatever reason!
    i have invited people over here repeatedly, but to no avail! i live half an hour from cardiff now... which is apparently too much effort

    For those of you with kids, or those with friends with children... how much did your relationships change after babies were born?
    Of all the things that worried me about becoming a mummy, losing friends wasn't one of them. I don't get invited out much anymore by my old friends... I know a lot of the time they're drinking and I can't really take a 6 month along (nor would I wish too) but it feels as though most circumstances, inviting me (and therefore sprog) is perhaps seen as an inconvenience... because of having to entertain her/feed her/change her etc. If people do not have children, do they not understand/have no interest in what it is like for you? I'm sure it's not personal to me (I hope not) and I'm making new friends who have babies. My hairdresser (I really have run out of people to talk to!) said her friends pretty much abandoned her when she had her first baby at 21 (I am 23).
    It would be nice to hear people's experiences from when they had children, or if a friend had a baby and how that changed things. Most of the people I've met at baby groups are older than me (30ish) so have friends/siblings/cousins with children whereas apart from people I know from the forum, I hadn't met a baby in over 10 years. I felt for a while I was the only person in the world with a baby. Which is obviously stupid. But sometimes when I have gone out with friends, and she starts crying/wants to be held, I feel like I am ruining everyone else's day because we have to stop/someone else has to push the pram while I carry her etc. and it just ends up stressful. :S Perhaps there is also an attitude of, why can't you leave her with your partner for a few hours... but I don't want to... so that makes it my fault for not being able to go out and socialise? I seem to manage to socialise ok with friends with babies.. :S (I'm not meaning to attack my friends here! I just don't know if this is normal or I have suddenly become unlikeable???)

    £70 is a lot! Most colleges I know will pay £10-15 an hour. I had a lot of interest in people drawing me when I was pregnant. £25 an hour for privately run groups. Not necessarily as easy as you think to stand still for an hour. Achey after. Especially if they want strange positions. Put your arms in the air. See if you can do that for 15 minutes.
    Most models I've met are young, female and attractive. But I think that is more because they have the confidence to get their clothes off in front of strangers. Less men. Apparently it can be hard to control an erection if you're not used to it. But I don't know anything about that.

    unfortunately it could still be thrush if that's not been ruled out :( i had it quite badly and couldn't get rid of it with natural treatments.. i used the cream to no avail too. a lot of women have it recurringly in pregnancy. if that's what they think it is it's not unusual for them to be dismissive as it's harmless despite it being very painful (first time i had it they didn't even offer me cream i had to ask).
    A gum clinic can test you for thrush. i got told straight after being checked that i had it! if it's not that, at least you could rule it out


    re. money make sure you claim everything you're entitled too! free dentist while pregnant. healthy start vouchers and maternity grant when pregnant if you're on jsa/income support.

    can you get someone to along with you to the drs? have they actually examined you properly? maybe you could go to a GUM clinic? i'm not saying it's an STI, but it's a different group of people to look at you - you can turn up to any i think - and it might help to get another opinion?
    hope it sorts out :(
    i don't think you're alone in ahving mishap midwife service. mine was very scattered as well, i hardly saw the same people more than once (even after baby was born!)


    remember to look after yourself and relax lots... pregnancy is a time you have to be selfish to be unselfish!!! (whatever people may tell you!)


    i've got a fair few baby things i've not got rid of or passed on in case you want/need them (inc. a car seat and a bouncy chair). we were stressed financally before baby came along, and hand me downs helped us so much!

    bubbles is normal. foam could be bacteria. might sort itself out in a few days. you can buy water tests for about £6. or tap water conditioner.
    what type of fish are you getting?

    I suppose so. My health visitor told me I had to do lots of research to make sure she gets iron/b12/protein in the right quantities. made me a little paranoid. esp as i know i'm gonna get opposition too! i might contact veggie society and ask for their advice

    baby is starting to be interested in food now (she licked the top off my pizza yesterday)


    has anyone here brought their children up veggie from birth? any advice or recommended reading? i want to be sure she's getting everything she needs!

    Yes! I went on an alpha course with a friend a few years ago. And we met quite a few creationists. They didn't go on about it too much or especially try and convert us. But there was no discussion to be had; it was what they believed and that was that. They said they honestly thought the world was 10,000 years old. I got the impression they were very much aware of how much of a minority they were. A lot of them were born again Christians, I don't know if that makes a difference to how extreme your views are.
    We went to a creationist exhibition in Portsmouth. There was stuff about rocks, and slagging off Darwin and 'proof' that God made life because the Earth is livable. And stupid things like if the earth was a metre closer or further from the sun we'd all be dead (consider that the orbit is elliptical). I found it strange that seemingly intelligent people believed such obsurdities. But they also seemed nice, yet believed all gay people should and would go to hell. They cooked good veggie food though. Not much consolation for the gay people burning in hell but it tasted nice.

    ditto magicmel! when i feel crap i want to eat crap and then i feel more crap.
    I ate a whole jar of nutella in two days because of stress/feeling ill and then felt sick and fat too :P
    If I feel good I don't want to eat crap, I want to make healthy things and eat fruit and do exercise. Which makes me feel a LOT better. I dunno how to get into and stay in that 'good' cycle though!
    The lure of misery and chocolate is perhaps too great for my weak soul.

    well i'm not following any of the dreams i had when i was younger... i have a list i wrote several years ago of all the things i wanted to do in my life.. including things like be President of France, have a Chinese baby, climb the M3 (the white 'cliff' bits at the side of the road), own a pirate ship, to less inane things like foster, plant lots of trees, become a Divemaster.


    it's funny, when i found out i was pregnant, i worried at first that i might end up resenting baby as i wouldn't as easily be able to do all i wanted - travel, write, get my career going.. what i did not realise was that once she was born things that mattered a great deal before would not be half as important anymore.


    i had a dream many years ago when i was very unhappy, more a brief glimpse like the opposite of a memory. barefeet on a kitchen floor, backdoor open with sunshine and children's laughter coming in from the garden. it was a little light in a very dark world that i occupied.
    tho i'd still like to travel, climb mountains, write, have a career... i know that happiness for me is simple. and therefore attainable.

    thx :) finally got internet again so gna treat myself to some books! we recently got a co-sleeping cot that fits perfectly next to the bed too, so it's just like a bed extension!! apparently u can't use it after the baby can sit up on her own which is a bit annoying (i didn't realise this until after we bought it and set it up!) but it'll be grand in the mean time