Posts by elfqueenofrohan

Welcome to UKHIppy2764@2x.png

UKHippy is a long running online community and of likeminded people exploring all interpretations on what it means to be living an alternative lifestyle -- we welcome discussions on everything related to sustainability, the environment, alternative spirituality, music, festivals, politics and more -- membership of this website is free but supported by the community.

    there's lots of recipes on this site actually :)…etarian-and-Vegan-Recipes
    when i went vegan several years ago i printed all the vegan ones off there as a kind of 'starter' to get me into cooking. it helped and they're all free! though i def recommend getting some cook books if it's a long term thing. i've got about 6 and i still use them even though im only veggie now. (i have a lovely one called a vegan taste of France :D)
    if you're doing non food stuff too then most of the Original Source products are vegan, Lush, Holland and Barrett and Sainsburys are good for stocking vegan things. Online tends to be the best bet for cleaning stuff really though (in my experience, but i live in the valleys.) OR just use bicarb and white vinegar on everything :P

    making judgements is important to function in society. we have to make decisions often without having all the facts or extensive knowledge of the people. e.g. which nursery to send child to, which ppl to strike up conversation with at a group when trying to make friends, who to employ, whether to accept a drink/lift/exchange numbers. theres countless times we must pass these judgements, we could be wrong but there isnt always opportunity to do otherwise. so it is normal to make superficial judgements. it is 'bad' i think if it is sweeping but it's still normal. xenophobia for e.g is natural to our tribal nature. but we are equipped to rise above this.
    i don't believe anyone can honestly no pass any judgement on other people they come across. it doesn't have to be negative 'ugh look at her' or disliking/ostrasizing people or not giving people a chance at something/giving them the time of day because of your first judgment. but certainly it is useful to make snap judgements on people in certain situations. this doesn't have to carry over into all parts of life. Like many other things there's a spectrum

    I got a tub in Tesco for £7, the organic goodfood or something brand? I buoght it yesterday as a 'treat' cos it has to be at that price :P. But i've heard it recommended as really healthy and good for weight loss. we're having it as the base for a salad dressing tonight :) yumyum

    ive had to stop going to my local breastfeeding group cos it is only for babies up to the age of 1 :(
    the attitudes towards carrying on bfing are amazingly retarded imho.
    the idea of swapping from bf to formula??? whats the point if you're capable and happy to bf? if a baby needs formula milk (and they sell it for children up to - wait for it - 5!) then, as it's a replacement for boob milk, why on earth do people find it odd that mothers feed their children for this long?
    ive had lots of people ask me when ill stop/tell me it's weird/i ought to stop etc (and my baby isn't quite 13 months!!!!!)

    the way i look at it is it cannot HARM baby so unless you need or want to stop there is no reason to. there are many positives and no (inherent)negatives. people can keep their prejudices and freakish opinions and sod off. paedophile??? seriously?

    i guess the reason they don't let him die, is because that would be a very dangerous precedent, wouldn't it? this man killed people, they *say* he wants to die, no one likes him, lots of people want him dead - I don't know if it would look so very different from the death penalty. And it would also set a precedent for euthanisia of mentally ill people which could lead to its own very slippery slope?
    Sometimes things are about more than the people involved and this is one of those cases I believe.

    im sorry to hear your experience was so far from what you hoped :( you shouldnt be expected to just get over it. it was a real, important, defining moment of your life and what happened during it does matter! some women don't seem to mind at all, because i think they view it as a medical procedure. i felt very awful for a long time after having a c-section - only in the last few days actually have i stopped. i felt like i had failed because i had not given birth naturally. even though i did not think any less of other people who'd had them! but it's not logical, it's emotional and it's about you and him. there's nothing wrong with feeling like you're struggling, you're like has just changed massively, forever, and you're full of hormones and emotions you're not used to and it will take time to adjust.
    ignore people who tell you to just get over it, things will settle, it will take time - it should take tiime, it sounds like a very traumistitsing experience and it is sad that so many medical staff do not treat you with the respect you deserve or recognise how important certain things are to you. my birth plan was actually laughed at by a midwife :( and i was so ashamed none of it had worked i never met up with anyone from my nct group again (i had been so pro natural birth i thought they'd sneer at me for having had a section when it came to it)
    you're not alone in feeling this way, and there is nothing wrong with it and does not have any affect on how you are as a mother - you are doing wonderfully, and feeding him yourself, despite the pressure i imagine there is (i was *forced* to give Erin formula, they got a paediatrician in to scare me into doing it!well she's still bfing now at over a yr - it's so f*cked up the way they behave as if breastfeeding is a waste of time!!!)
    It does sound bad, and your feelings are valid and no one has t he right to invalidate them. only you know how real and painful they are. I used to cry a lot about my birth experience. But I have eventually come to terms with it. But healing takes time xxxx

    yes :) and there's so many fun activities and groups available to help you get to meet new people and make new friends. I have some lovely friends I've met through having a baby already! And we have picnics, days out etc. to socialise. I imagine there are groups specifically for single parents. If you just pick up a random in a bar, you don't know they're going to be suitable for your life/child anyway. You can take these risks when you are on your own, as it is only you that gets hurt, but when you have a young child? You don't want to flit through boyfriends with them watching :/ (well I'd hope not anyway) I thought about this when reading another thread someone made about having relationships with people with children. Someone made an important comment about the effect on the child when a new partner leaves. It must be very difficult for young children who are expected to continuously make new bonds with bfs. :( But I don't have any direct experience of this so I should probably shut up!

    Sorry for the horrendous typing in my last post :S Erin's wendy house had just been delivered so there was much excitement (she then got very grumpy because she wanted to climb in and out the window not the door... :P) Babies are funny amazing creatures and I am so excited about watching my little girl grow and develop. But... we am fortunate... I know some women whose partners, basically, do sod all.(or work away in army etc) And they struggle. :( Because you do need breaks! A five minute cup of tea, a 15 minute bath - that's all sometimes but it is important. I think a lot of people also struggle to ask for help when they need it in case people think they are a bad mother etc. when it is fine to need support and asking for it doesn't mean you're not doing your best - in fact it's a good thing because you know when you need help and don't struggle on to breaking point!

    is there anything so important that you can't do WITH your child? all the things i think i want to do wish id done before having a baby..... i can do and share them with her! and how much more wonderufl does that make them! travelling, trying new things, all the rich experiences of life! goodness i managed to complete a masters with her, what CAN'T I do :) :P

    lots of people forget to enjoy their childrne. the stressed parents who continuously moan and complain about not doing things... the problem is not the child it's (not in a mean way) them. their attitude to life, their child etc. there are times i feel stressed and think what about ME but sharing my time and life with her always trumps it. Often people go into parenthood not fully understanding how much it becomes your hwole life, a child is not a hobby or something extra to your life they ARE your life compltely and if you go in expecting to still be able to go out every evening and socialise in the same way with child free people yes it will feel like you are trapped and you'll struggle to adjust.
    I know if i still hung around with the same friends form uni and tried to carry on in that stage oflife but with a child i would get miserable and stressed. but making friends with other mums in same position to have friends who are in the same boat. it's not about your freedom. you have smething wonderful and fantastic to share with your child to see and learn about the world all over again and it's not a 'trap' it's not a lack of freedom... it is DIFFERENT to what you had befre but it is sad when people resent their chilren :(
    i want to go out and celebrate having got a distinction in my masters, and i have mentioned it to some people and everyone has assumed i'd go out and get drnk and leave baby with someone. no!! she is part of my celebration, we will go out and do something she can join in on why wouldn't i? what would be the fun and enjoyment of not sharing it with my own daughter? we're going to take her on a boat ride in cardiff bay and it will be fun for us and more wonderifl to share it with her and show her things and experience love and enjoyment as a family.

    i *do* have times i struggle and want to have my own time to do my own thing but i dont feel jealous of my childless friends because - well their spare time they go to the gym and go out drinking. fine if you want to do that but is it worth being jealous of??? is it worth resenting your child for??? not a chance! i can go out hiking with her and take her up mountains for eercise. i can have a drink in the evening or in the garden in the sun if alcohol is that important.

    but i have a partner who is fantastic with her and so i cannot comment on how different or difficult it must be being a single parent. But I DO very much think that attitude plays a part. many people treat childhood as a battle. you MUST sleep now EAT now NAP now to this schedule and argue, tell off, fight - im talking about with babies toddlers... ive seen tantrums and tears beacuse mummy says eat this now and baby doesnt want to....???/? do we force adults to eat when they arent hungry??? would you force an adult to eat something they do not want? force them to go to bed when they are not tired? goodnes, whats the point no wonder theyre stressed!!!!! (i am talking abut yungsters obviously you DO need boundaries and some degree of routines but how much of it is worth fighting over, woorth losing some of the bond and connection with your baby over??)

    sorry for long mumbly rant. i hope i didnt offend anyone. i only have my experience of a 1 yr old. and a supportive partner. and met ltos of lovely supportive mummys at other groups.

    also i think attitudes of those around you can cause stress. if everuone is saying ur child shd be or shdnt be doing this sleeping tis much or lets go out leave ur tiny baby with a babysitter.... i met someone who (she was 18) had gone to a houseparty and taken her little baby and got drunk :( her baby was held by my friend for most of the evening, her mummy didnt check who she was with :( must be so hard at that age whn all ur friends are being young, about to go to uni, travel, going out anf having bfs etv... then i can understand the resentment and difficulties. But at your age, at 35 (im assuming this is what ur friends are, sorrry!!!!)
    sometimes young men - thinking their younger than they are nearly 30 resentful cos they cant go to pub every night????? :/ :/

    i found some tesco marge thats for baking which had neither. vegan soya free cake went down a storm tho everyone loved it and were impressed it cud taste nice lol :D fond dairy free white buttons tht only hv a iny bit of soya in so put them on as optional. was nice for dairy free baby to get to try cake :)

    eggs is fine :) i'm gonna try that chocolate cake (the non sweet potato one because im not feeling brave) for the party 2moro. when it says shortening, it's fine to just use normal marge isn't it :S i had to google that as i'd never heard of it.

    i know sum1 who spent 2 months in germany in their converted van over the winter n didnt hv a problem. lack of english in lots of the smaller places but they managed with no german (but werent working). apparently great health food shops so really easy if ur veggie too!

    does anyone know any recipes for cakes (pref chocolate?) that are soya and dairy free? or anything else reasonably simple/easy to make that's chocolately and yummy? so many of the vegan things i used to eat have soya in :S
    this doens't need to be egg free, it's a friend who is breastfeeding and her baby can't have these so she can't either! and i wanted to make a yummy cake for Erin's 1st birthday that she can have a slice of too :) she can't have any chocolate anymore cos all the dairy-free stuff has soya in it :( and a life with no chocolate is sad!

    i think they put you under a lot of unnecessary pressure when it comes to meals. i found it really weird tbh, because they advise waiting until 6 months to wean, so i did, and then they said oh because you've left it until 6 months you'll need to wean really quickly.... :S and obviously getting her on 3 good meals and 2 snacks in a number of weeks, from no food at all was unattainable. if you've started weaning at 12 weeks, yes maybe that is what you'd expect, but it makes no sense, the advice isn't joined together.

    But I did want to add - don't feel guilty if you do give your baby fish or meat at any point. If you're feeling unsure or paranoid she's not getting enough of what she needs, it is probably better for your peace of mind that you let her have bits of, say, what your partner is eating - you're not buying it especially for her then and it would be eaten anyway (he's not going to miss a few mouthfuls :P). But as I said, there's plenty of advice and help available if you are determined, and it is certainly do-able. I've met adults who were brought up vegan from birth, and I can assure you that they were not dead or malnourished. ;)

    the vegan society do a book specifically aimed at bringing your baby up vegan. it talks about all the nutrients and vitamins your baby needs and in what quantities and how to get them in her diet. definitely worth buying - i got a couple of books. we're bringing our 11 month old up veggie but i wanted to get things from a vegan POV too and the books are great (there's lots of others on the market too). If you are in doubt, contact them.

    And I know a couple of babies that are lcatose intolerant so don't have any dairy.... :S and also, my baby didnt eat much at only 8 months, certainly not 3 meals a day! so don't let them pressurise you. in South Africa, they do not wean babies until 9 months as a matter of course.

    you can get omega supplements for children from 12 months if you're worried, but plenty of flaxseed in her diet should suffice. i have had people tell me my baby needs meat, and have no idea how insulting they are being to suggest that I would not be giving her something if she would become ill without it. She eats beans, and tofu, and quorn, for her protein and a wide range of vegetables, some vitamin drops, and she even likes cashew nuts, broken up (god forbid that i'm giving her them before she's 5 :P). We also give her wholegrain bread, as this has wheatgerm in it unlike white bread which is GREAT. I know they say babies must not have wholegrain bread, but you can make your own decisions based on your own research :)

    i went to upgrade my phone as it wasn't working anymore and i had the choice between a blackberry and a touchscreen. i wanted a phone! not a computer :/ the woman was shocked when i said i didnt want unlimited internet lol

    it is a point people have occasionally asked me (more when i was vegan) - how is it ethical for you to buy meat for your cat then? well it's not is it. if you've rescued a cat, you're only giving it food it would be given anyway but if you bought one you've helped support the cat industry and therefore the meat industry haven't you? (im not attacking it is just an is).
    weirdly i am more bothered about fish than meat (when people - only people i know really well!! - eat fish i make sure i explain why it is bad and why they should make sustainable fish choices - not in a preachy way just giving out information. then they can make an informed choice and maybe choose a different type of fish). But we never buy fish for the cat. this often means buying more expensive deals because the 'variety' meat packs often have tuna. and i feel more strgonly about that. And I am imposing my choices on the cat. But left to her own devices I don't think she'd catch many tuna so I'm sure she'll cope.

    as lord summerisle says i think it is the element of choice. the cat does not have one, the human does. it therefore could be offensive to insist upon eating something out of pure selfish hedonism in front of someone who cares very mch about that cause. the cat needs the meat the human does not.

    but i agree, if a person is saying they do not want meat in their hose because they find being near meat/the smell of meat etc. distressing,they shouldn't really own a pet that needs meat. :/

    but ive known strict vegans who've kept dogs and given them normal dog food. strict vegans who would refuse food that had been cooked NEXT TO meat. and at the same time, drink any red wine or beer that comes near them! *shrug* People are hypocritical, imperfect creature. But most of us do our best. And that's what matters,really.
    (somone made me cry once whn i was about 18, just gone vegan, striving to have no carbon footprint. and someone - a meat eating army bloke type - was really nasty about me wearing a plastic bracelet. because i was vegan and had the beliefs i did it was easy to attack me for something no one would generally think of as unenvironmental. whereas i suppose if i had pointed out how much damage he did, and what a twat he was, he'd've just said he didnt care. and therefore it somehow wouldn't matter.)

    whoops i ranted on a tangent there. sorry. !!!!

    cos of ur age, and as you seem to look after ur teeth and ur diet isn't bad, it is worth making sure there's not a medical reason for the problem. maybe just an infection or in case it is something that might affect your bones too (e.g. early onset osteoperosis)

    do you drink caffiene/alcohol/smoke. these will all make it worse too.

    look for an electric toothbrush online you can get them much cheaper. i got one for a tenner :)

    yeh i found co-sleeping the most natural thing too. i wasn't necesarily going to but because of breastfeeding it made the most sense! why get out of bed several times in th enight whenyou can just snuggle baby! she's more annoying now, she keeps kicking me in the tummy, and she can gt out of her sleeping bag and pull my hair at 7am when she wants to get up now x_x. I'm sure I'll miss it in a few years. maybe :P

    if he is concinved that it is caused by eating, it is likely to make it more cyclical... i noticed this when i had panic attacks. i had them at the times i thought i would.... partly because i started to panic about getting them!
    If he is sure it is from his diet/stomach then you need to rule out different causes as people have said. i agree with other people that cutting out the alcohol is a good start. and not just for a week and then back onto it because you need to properly 'come off it' for a extended period of time to see the affects or he will just experience withdrawal (because a bottle of wine a day sounds like an addiction)
    IBS can cause stress/depression and be caused by it. A diet change to dairy free, low fat, high (soluble) fibre diet may help to see if this is part of the problem.
    Has he been tested for food allergies/crohns disease etc. ? thyroid levels/anaemia?