Posts by RowanColourful

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    Sorry midnight star, I didn't see your last post, and the lack of paragraph spaces made my 'advice' illegable practically. :/

    It is really awful to feel like you are not entitled to ask for help when you genuinely need it because of the strange culture of opinion surrounding the issues you are dealing with. All you need to do with the doctor, is (if you feel you need to do this immediately)

    1. Not turn up on Monday
    2. Follow your usual sickness reporting procedure to let them know you are not coming in and tell them you are going to see the doc
    3. Make an ASAP appointment with GP surgery
    4. Tell the doctor genuinely what is going on for you
    5. Discuss options to help, some doctors are better and some are worse in terms of advice and stuff
    6. Specifically tell them that you have not gone into work today, that you can't do your job properly, and you require a sick note, can you have one please

    It should be simple, the hard part is actually plucking up the couraging and leanring to be clear and firm with people. If you have problem, you have a problem, if cannot do somehting, you cannot do it, if you need help, you need help. If you do not encounter helpful doctor, make the next appointment with a different GP specifically. If you think you might lose your nerve, or find it difficult to adequately explain, take some one with you(I hope there is someone).

    If you choose to leave a job you cannot claim benefits in the same way as if you didn't have one in the first place. Job seekers particularly is for people who are trying to find work but are unable, and if you had a job that you could have kept, then they don't count that as being unable to find work, etc. Is it the specific job that is a problem for you at the moment? Maybe there is another proffesion you could go into, even if temporarilly and on a lower wage or less interesting, but less stressful, or without whatever it is that you are currently finding difficult, while you look for amore ideal job?

    However, if there is something that they find to be significantly good cause for you leaving that particular job, and you are now looking for a new job in all the appropriate ways, they can give you job seekers allowance. If you were being bullied or treated unfairly at work, or if there was a significant reason why that particular job was no longer suitable for you, they would likely give it to you as a temporary measure until you found yourself a new job(temporary measure until you find a job you are capable of doing being what job seekers is for).

    Housing benefit is usually decided independently of other benefits, so you may be entitles to housing benefit. If you had children you would also still be entitles to child tax credits, but your working tax credits would be stopped (if you were on a low income and were recieving this benefit, but you have not mentioned having any child dependants so it is probably irrelevant).

    IF YOU ARE HAVING A NERVOUS BREAK DOWN that is grounds for not going into work, by which I mean, take the advice of mayfly, and sarah and myself, and go see your doctor. IF you are depressed so suffering from anxiety they may offer you therapy or medication. These are optional, though, and (unless you went really mental and had to be sectioned for your own safety or something REALLY extreme like that) they will not and cannot make you take them. If you feel you can manage work right now, go in. IF you are concerned about your own well being and/or also your ability to do your job well, tell a manager of some sort that you want to speak to them in private and tell them what is going on. If work is a problem for you at the moment, tell them what you are finding difficult about it, if you are having personal problems, mental health problems, or you are just stressed and you don't know why, tell them. Then, they may be able to help, or at least they won't find it out of the blue if you call in sick and don't turn up in a few days. Depending on your work place's sickness reporting and certificating procedures, if you feel you cannot manage right now, don't go in to work, and do whatever you would normally do for any phyisical illness, phone up? Get a GP note? You can tell the doctor about whatever is wrong, and if they are understandinmg the situation they may suggest some time off work and some sort of treatment (therapy, medication for depression, anxiety, something else, referral to another doctor/health profesional). If your doctor does not suggest or offer these things and you think you need them, you can ask. They may give you a sicknote that does not last very long, if this is the case, see how it goes, and if you stil don't feel up to it and ask for another sick note. If after some time off you return to the same job, you can often ask for things to be done to make it easier, e.g. arrangng with a higher up what is going to be said to co workers about why you are away, weather you will be given less responsibilties for a while, or a gradual return to work plan.

    If you took time off sick with the permission of your GP note, you would at least be entitled to statutory sick pay as Sarah says. If you are in a bad way at the moment and can't do your job, you are better off just having time off sick financially, because your employer is likely to give you some decent wage sick pay at least for a while, and then if you found yourself feeling better and you thought you could go back, job already there, even if you change it as soon as you can find something else.

    If, you think just changing jobs will help, do that. maybe you could try working part time and being very frugal with cash for a while?

    I was cracking up in my last job, I thought that what I needed was just a change, then I thought that what I needed was just a break, I even saved up so I could have a month or two off and then get another job, but in the end all that happened was I got so stressed, so ill, so exhausted, I could not even do my job, I really did have a break down, I repeatedly got sent home, I had had that dreaded feeling of 'I just can't go back there, oh but it's my job, I have to, I'll go in, it's just one more day/week/month/' and then just breaking down crying to becoming physically ill and having to leave, even getting so ill I had to be dropped off home by my boss. Fun ;). I didn't know what to do either, but I did have some time off on the sick in the end, and I eventually left.

    I really hope you find a situation that is better for you. And I really hope you find a way to help yourself before you really do 'crack up'. You deserve to be happy. Go with your gut truth where possible, avoid decisions based on anger, and conserve cash wherever possible, you never know when you might need it.

    I wish I could recomend something nice and eco, guessing you have tried washing up liquid and citrus floor cleaner type things with a scrubby sponge?

    There was a horrific stain on a caravan carpet that we aquired that I thought was a burn, approx pan sized, lol, turned out just to be a pile of mud or some such worked into the carpet and left for years. I found vanish stuff that came as a liquid, a pink bottle from 99p stores, worked really well, I applied it neat to this carpet, trying to get mud off, and found the burn was not a burn at all! I found I had to scrub gently with neat cleaning solution, add water, scrub it in a little and hoover off.

    For a variety of stains including beans, mud and food I have got stuff off a rug by soaking in bi carb of soda, taking outside and repeatedly rinsing.

    The other thing that I found really good for stains was these cleaning wet wipes, not designed for carpet, from aldi. They got out coffee stains and such that I never expected to come off.


    In a sort of emotional intelligence youth group I used to go to we did a session once about sort of identity issues, and instead of doing drama like often, we put down on paper some things that represented who we were, in a variety of ways. The way I chose was on one side to put a list of written things about myself that might go in some forms but that I felt were actually quite an inaccurate representation of me, and to do a drawing on the other side of the paper. I would really like to do it again, I think my drawing would be very different this time, my 'stats' sort of thing list would mainly be different in the age acategory and not much else. Would anyone care to join me? (perhaps not uploading to this fforwm any of their personal details though of course).

    I would say ego and identity are related, but hows abouts the first paragraph (?) of the poem (?) ? The things that he is not? That doesn't fit so neatly into the ego box.

    Though, I suppose you could say it is possible that

    My ego is not the clothes I wear
    My ego is not the job I have


    I am trying to think of sensible things, mask making is cool (great to see people just sat there quiet with their masks drying on their face) but all I can think is MY GOD THAT WOULD BE ITCHY TO WEAR !

    Without commenting on any of the wider issues raised here, I actually am of the opinion that it is wasteful to throw away old fur items. It would be a difficult decision though to use something like that. I am thinking in this context of something found in an attic or inherrited froma relative, rather than sourcing fur clothing that happens to be vintaage. I can see in a way the merrit of giving a fur item a funeral say, I think it would be highly disrespectful to put the remains of a beautiful creature in landfil! I can indeed see using fur items, but not seeking them out. I am a vegetarian, I believe in being aware of the welfare of other creatures, however I am far from ideal in my practices. I use diry products, have leather shoes, used as well as bought from new, I don't actively campaign for change in any of these areas, I just try to be aware of and minimise my own negative impact.

    My friend Pete tan's leather, or erm, whatever you call it. He is using deer hydes at the moment, there is a reserve for deer somewhere in Scotland or something that encourages and supports them, but as part of the herd maintanance (I would be happy to discuss this with anyone interested, and I would be happy to ask for further information, but perhaps in a seperate thread though) someone is hire to keep an eye on them and to kill a small percentage of the deer in order to take the place of their natural preditors (natural selection is unforuntaley compramised by the lack of other species around as far as I know). The man employed to kill off the weaker deer has recently started giving their hydes to my friend. He is making some lovely native american style wampums and things, and using any usable meat, he is a road kill user also.

    Grated carrot pie. I know you said you don't like stodgey pie, but it's pretty good, you grate up carrot and chop other things like onions and herbs or whatever you like and bake it on layer of pastry with no lid like you would a quiche. Grated carrot salad is lush, esp carrot and beetroot grated with garlic and miso dressing. I also recomend you try the hallumi a few different ways, its unlike cheese really, when cooked well, its al squeaky and chewy and salty.

    It is possible to get yourself used to other flavours. I think stir fries would be good. Do you like bean sprouts? Home sprouted ones in salads and any type (including the wierdly white shop bought ones) in stir fries could be good way to get some non stodgey nourishment in you guys. There are some cool different eastern ish ingredients you can experiment with that are veggie, like water chestnut, sprouts, bamboo shoots and stuff (you can get them tinned, lol). Things like rice stuffed vine leaves and home made sushi type tihngs like that maybe? Have you tried stuffing vegetables, the type of vegetables that look more like fruits, like for example peppers, tomatoes, pumkin family veg and baking them in the oven?

    I often like to make things with rice when I am in a nono stodgey mood, although some people make rice in a stodgey way, don't do that ! Try cooked rice, chop some boiled eggs, chop some tomatoes, cucumber, apple, onion, raw and or fried, if you fry some onion you can cook it with garlic and quorn, that is pretty good, add some raw nuts, like chashews or pine nuts (expensive unfortunately) and any other thing you fancy the taste of in there.

    Maybe try some salad tortillas, don't melt cheese on them, have them raw with salad and maybe some pre cooked kidney beans for a bit of fat and protein in there, hmm?

    Have you tried savoury pancakes?.... Hmmm most good savoury pancakes involve melted cheese but not all, you can do them with fried/sauted veggies and or mushrooms, if you wanted sauce you could use a tomato sauce. Maybe a bit too stodgey...

    What about curry? Curry can be made in all sorts of ways, but is one of the common dishes I have seen made veggie witout added cheese on top!

    Burgers, or falafel type things might be good. Take away falafells I have had often come in pittas with crunchy veggies or salad and either chillie sauce or thini sauce. I highly recomend tahini sauce, but you guys might not like it if you don't like stodgey creamy things.

    If you like roasted things just try lots of diff types of veg in the oven, maybe with herbs or whole cloves of garlic, yum yum.

    Do you eat quiche or omlette?

    There is a tofu recipe I saw once that was designed to recemble vegan scrambled egg, you might like it, you dice your veg, things that cook quickly like courgettes, maybe onions and other aromatic veg, peppers if you like them, maybe pumpkin family veg if you like them, maybe peas or beany things, but fresh tasting things, into cubes. You crumble and flake your tofu into the pan instead of chopping it, with a little oil, add the veggies, how long it takes to cook depends how tender/crunchy you want the vegetables. I'd have tamari/soysauce with it if it were me. Worth a try.

    Have you tried polenta?

    I've sort of seen both sides of the argument around here - while I do realise that most people on benefits are genuine and need the money there are some around here who definitely take the piss.

    I've heard myself young girls talking amongst themselves about deliberately getting themselves pregnant so they can get a council house and not have to bother working.

    Unfortunately it's this latter minority who get reported on by the likes of the DM and lead to government coming up with these stupid ideas!

    In all the benefits where under 25's are treated differently (given different circumstances, different form or different amounts of money) anyone with a child is usually taken out of the under 25's type part of the equasion. E.g. if you have a job but earn a low income, you may be able to claim working tax credits as a source of extra income to help you survive on a low wage. If you are under 25, you cannot claim working tax credits. automatically. If you have a child, you can claim tax credits, both types, regardless of age. So, this would not help with that. This does not pose a solution to the concept of people having children in order to gain help/benefits/sympathy/housing.
    In addition, as working people (over 25) can claim working tax credits if their income is at such a low level that they basically barely have money to pay their bills, rent and working expenses are taken into account in this, they would not require or be entitled housing and council tax benefits, because their overall iincome would be topped up to an adequate amount by the tax credits. Working people on low incomes under 25 would not be entitled to this help, so if they were on a low wage and literally could not afford their rent and all their other necessary and almost necessary expenses (the standard amount of money that is minimum amount to live on is an average, some expenses are necessary, some are debatable) they would be able to/really need to claim housing benefit or part housing benefit to keep their home and spend wages mainly on other bills and expenses, including working expenses(think of the work based expenses some people incur to keep and get their jobs, transport, car, car maintainance, buses, parking, equipment, tools, smart clothes, or protective clothes, smart, supportive or protective shoes-there are some proffesions where shoes are really important for your health and well being and others where specifics of footwear are actually required, depending on the job and uniform dry cleaning). Someone tell me if I am wrong about this shit btw ;).

    It really bothered me when I heard this on radio news, just a little snippet, no real context of how serious a proposal it really was, but it is totally ridiculous, I can't believe it would work. There are plenty of under twenty fives who literally need housing benefit, they have already made the maximum amount people under 25 get less than people of 25 and over, as some sort of punishment for being young, or if you want to call it that a disinsentive to depend on the government instead of anyone else that one might be able to depend upon. Pfft, I am under 25, if I claim income related benefits such as JSA I will get less than a person over 25, I will more than likely be looked down on, and I wouldn't get rent more than £56 for a normal tenancy, that is pretty harsh circumstances, I don't think I would put myself in that position through choice and celebrate my wonderful fountain of free money and easy living. Personally, it would be really very difficult for me if I was not able to get housing benefit, just because I am under 25 doesn't mean I don't need a home. I would have to seriousely rely upon the charity of others if they did this. It can't be serious though, it has to be an empty threat in some sort of attempt to make 18-24 year olds panic and make conservative supporters feel happy that they are going to extreme measures to sort out the financial situation of the country.

    Whilest I am aware that making alcohol does / did once serve an important purpose in having uncontaminated liquids... Water does not euqal poo. Wine deffinately does not equal health. Alcohol can have a very dehydrating effect on the body. Food can easilly contain bacteria the same as water does, so you cannot avoid it by avoiding water. People are full of and covered in bacteria anyway, E coli is not the same thing as poo. There are ways of filtering and purifing water if you want to. You can get reverse osmosis filters with a UV light bit on which kills bacteria. In Benjamin Franklin's time period water purity situations were quite different. There are reasons why 'modern' developed countried add chlorine to most of their water. It would be much more accurate to say that water was equal to poo if you considered the proccess to using water to flush toilets, containing poo, and then treating the sewage in order to use water.

    I have no experience nor much knowledge about the drugs, but I would say she ought to have discussed some treatment with him, but perhaps with so many other problems the doc didn't find the time, I'd recomend making an appointment specifically to discuss cholesterol.

    Which fats a person eats tend to be very important (cholesterol is not fat but the two nutrients are often in the same foods etc.). There is What kind of diet do you and your family have? Does he eat with you guys at home mostly, or is he out a lot and grabbing things on the go? A zinc supplement is sometimes used to bring up diet and immune system, just by the by. There are a lot of things that can be both added, taken away and swapped in order to try and change cholesterol, but of course, you have to actually eat them. If someone only wants to eat certain foods, hmm, I guess he would have to make his own decisions about it and make a commitment to himself to help his health.

    Some foods that can have a positive effect on reducing your high cholesterol, are, wheat germ oil (you can buy a cheese called minicol, which is a medium, close to 'normal' priced cheddar that contains wheatgerm oil as well as milk, and it has a cholesterol reducing effect, perhaps he might like that if he likes cheese), tahini (you know benecol contains plant sterols and what not? So does tahini, and I believe sesame oil itself, but not certain on that), strawberries and oats. In terms of oils and cooking oils, canola, flax, wheatgerm, olive and possibly sesame I think ok options.

    I've heard a lot of things (including on BBC Horizon, which I generally listen to, don't know if other people do though) about blood cholesterol levels being quite strongly influenced by physical activity patterns. If you guys are worried, go back to the GP and ask about medications and/or any other stuff you can do.

    It is the quality of fat in your diet that matters. Low fat diets are not healthy. Salt is a controversial point. I prefer to have unprocessed salt but not a low salt diet Fructose can only be processed in the human body by the liver and it turns it straight into fat and consuming large amounts of fructose puts the liver into overdrive

    So... fruit? is....