Posts by Varekai

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    i like a complete shaven, plucked, epillated or waxed effect on both men and women. the only hair I find acceptable is on the head.
    even then I quite like no hair there either or minimal. ie short shaved or cropped.

    no under arm hair, no pubic hair, no facial hair, leg hair, chest hair or back hair.

    going hairless is much more hygienic in a world where we wear clothes, often performance clothes that wick sweat away.

    and shaven nether regions, so much more fun and sexy. I dont have any interest in pre-pubescence, its got nothing to do with that at all. just the heightened sense of feeling without silly non functional hair being in the way.
    Im trying to find a polite way to ask my current man-friend to shave his pubes off. theres no easy way is there. I just need to turn up with a good quality razor to our next encounter...

    I used to keep a fog horn and a camera with large flash gun by my bed in my narrowboat
    Im not big enough or strong enough to take anyone on. So my weapon is used at a distance and its non lethal.
    The fog horn is loud enough to startle anyone and stop them in their tracks... at which point my photography skills come in and boom boom with the flash gun. Ive got your face mate. want to try backing off now do we? want to leave me alone? plus the flash temporarily duffs up anyones vision, again giving valuable moments of thinking/escaping or whatever time.

    really gets my goat that I can't seem to stop biting my nails.
    I dont want to do it.
    I grow them, and they look healthy and people dont mind shaking my hand... then something happens. Paff! theyre all gone again and I dont even realise ive done it.

    oh, and that dratted mould has come back on my side linings. evil black spots of naughtiness. get right up my snoot. literally. and my inner goat comes out bleating.

    I strongly empathise with you about finding the behaviour of our species unacceptable on a regular basis. Do you find acts of cruelty, towards animals and people, provoke a reaction of similar scale in you? If not I honestly believe you're disgust with the woman in the G-string is exagerated by some complex issues. But then, I could be wrong, my lack of disgust could be evidence of my deep rooted issues.

    Oh, but if i see or know about the illtreatment of other living beings, cruelty etc, I'm far worse than a few sweary words. Im practically grief stricken. To the point of speachless.a g-string in a restaurant is merely an amusing distraction.Case in point, the issues surrounding FGM. Prevalent in african natiions. I am compelleed to do something. Not just about it, but do something. Constructive. Education, re-education and more education about the. Equality of people. That a tradition based on old myths, should be dispelled. It will take generations to stamp out, but i need to be part of the stamping. I think thats where a hatred of something can actually be constructive.

    (Purely in the interests of assesing and challengin unbalanced thought patterns)

    Do you find it acceptable to judge and berate people who do other things you disagree with? Such as (and I am only guessing at common things that it is easy to judge people for) people dropping out of school, people driving dangerousely, people who don't clean their houses, people who manage their finances poorly and either don't pay bills in a timely fashion or fet into debts. Erm, how about people who dress in certain ways? Perhaps people who intentionally dress differently for attention, or people who dress in impractical clothing that they think is sexy, or people who dress smart to conform. Do you disagree with any of this behaviour? If so, would you consider it helpful to go up to people and tell them how stupid they look and how much they are ruining their lives?

    no to all of the above. I have no problem with peoples choices generally regardless if they are the same as mine of polar opposite. as someone else has mentioned, torturing people or animals, doesn't get the green light from me because it adversely effects a 3rd party.
    I just find something so, i dont know, unacceptable about certain things. greed mostly. greed is the burden on my shoulders. the greed of man. (the species not the gender)
    the greed of millions, exploiting others. the greed of one person who lusts for pleasure at the expense of another. The greed of people who want money and power, who want to control others for money, which will result in power.
    the greed of the oil companies, extracting rich pieces of the earth and selling them to us, the greedy customer who wants to look more powerful in society.

    my mistake was going to basildon chinese eat all you want buffet two weeks ago, on a saturday night. BIG mistake.
    It set me off on one of my rants. I cant even blame it on PMT because I dont have the M to have the P and the T for.

    a fat woman with her g-string pulled up above her low cut trousers, with her plate piled high... and her cackle , like a witch, im imagining that bit. But im not imagining the bum crack, that was real. I said nothing to her, but the image of her g-string is almost burnt into my retina, along with her fat arse crack. hmmm

    Im still having a word with myself.
    One half is still adamant that fat people are greedy and wants to shout at them, the other half says hey, be cool, leave the brother or sister alone.
    hate may indeed come from something that we once liked or a person we once enjoyed being in the company of, and then a part of us hates the fact that changed? if we cant have it, lets destroy it. jealousy? the path to greed that is.

    fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate and hate leads to suffering. [yoda]
    if we fear something, invariably it will end in hate.

    I demand a second opinion!

    honestly, some people are far too wrapped up in themselves aren't they. far too much time to dwell over self and the inner workings of the mind.
    I should take myself roughly to one side and have a word.

    I think your main problem is that you have an issue with softness and showing any gentle form of compassion for other people. It certainly appears like you see that as a weakness, perhaps because it makes you appear vulnerable? What's your definition of a strong person, out of interest?

    strong person = unflappable, insightful, unswerving character, honest, genuine, caring, emotionally stable, self reliant, independent, not afraid of change.

    However, sometimes it's best to recognise our own limitations and realise that it can be hubristic to assume that our intervention will produce positive results. It's ususally better to wait for people to seek help when they're ready for it.

    except, when people dont ask for help even though they need it.

    Sincere and honest question here... this isn't a criticism or a dig... do you suffer from mild aspergers, by any chance?

    no such chance, I'm off the scale the other way. I get upset if things aren't aligned or uniform, but that's just a quirk. I'm pretty standard I think. Just with a different gender brain to the body that carries it.

    Simples. Put yourself in the other person's shoes, and imagine how you'd sound to them. ;)

    I speak to others as I expect to be treated or spoken to in return, so that's where the problem lies, I dont understand why people get so sensitive about things that are plainly self evident. I want people to tell me what they think. I want to hear the ugly truth as others see it, however, as I said before, I seem to be misrepresenting myself, and they see something different.
    I know we all think we look and sound different to how we really do, but, really? am I that bad?

    I wouldn't because it's absolutely none of my business. I've got my own side of the fence to look after.

    aren't we all brothers and sisters on this planet? in which case, would you stand by and watch your near relatives eat themselves to an early grave? Do you disrespect other humans so much you would walk by, saying nothing?

    my side of the fence is their side of the fence.

    Quote from Atomik

    Cool. But again, that's diverging quite widely from how you described it earlier. You now sound like you're being more supportive and less aggressive in your approach to his addictive personality. To be honest, I think you've possibly given a negatively biased account of your own views and attitude. You're probably a lot nicer than you make yourself sound. :p

    I think im quite a harsh person. nice in a I will do anything for anyone way, but harsh in a way that I say exactly what I think at any given moment in time. which doesnt mean I think absolutely "that" all of the time, but it applies to the moment. it can come across as very hateful, rather than what my intentions are, completely the opposite.
    Id like to know how I can adjust my own behaviour, so that Im still true to me, but dont come across as the opposite of what I actually mean. how can I be more transparent than I already am? how can I avoid giving peop,e the wrong impression of being a hatefilled person, when the reality is more of deep compassion, but without pansy simpering and fluffing about?

    just as an aside here, my asthma is triggered by a physical particulate. pollen (all types), smoke, strong smells such as perfume, hair spray, any aerosol, even strong body odour on a train/enclosed space, cats, dogs, anything furry actually! (I have a small dog because the benefits outweigh the negatives)
    My last house(boat) was a nightmare, woodfired stove.... very bad time breathing. Yeah I was warm, it looked lovely on a cold winters day, but I was pretty ill with it. I do love chopping wood though.
    Now, electric heater = happy days!
    I'm a typical immuno-hyperactivity type person. skin/nails/breathing/allergies
    its great, if I cut myself, I heal in a day! but then not so great because if I dont cut myself (accidentally before anyone goes on about self harming) I still heal in a day...
    if only it could be harnessed in some way, I think there's grounds for a medical breakthrough for burns victims and skin cancer sufferers.

    but that's got nothing to do with hate, so, sorry that's off topic.

    So then you're not keeping him focused as you said previously.

    But that's a million miles away from your original ranting about "fatties", in which you blamed them all for their own problems and advised them to "just bloody eat less you silly cows".

    maybe its because the picture I saw was of a girl (amongst others) I knew, who used to be a friend and now, is not. And maybe, just maybe, I think she's turned ugly on the inside, and maybe, just maybe thats why Im ranting because I actually feel sad. And perhaps ever so vindicated after being taunted for being so skinny/pale/twiglike/boney/skeletal/flatchested/sallow when I was younger.
    Maybe. and perhaps I wish she hadn't gotten so fat, because I don't hate her.

    I keep "him" focused by reminding him of the important things in his life. he doesnt consider himself important exactly, but his sister yes. When I see Him starting a new compulsion (much easier to spot now we live apart), I tell him what I see, then I tell him to think about his sister or certain others who mean a lot to him. Think about something that makes him happy, and gives him meaning to life. it usually helps him focus again.

    He's not dealt with his addiction. He's addicted to you. All you've done is to help him avoid dealing with his problems by providing him with a crutch that he leans on. What would happen if you went your separate ways, hmm?

    we did go our separate ways for a while, we used to live together but I stopped that and told him to find his own way, to find his own house and stop using me as a crutch. He can go away for months (back to his family and friends in France or surfing in Spain), no problem. His friends say he is a changed person. He doesn't drink himself to destruction anymore, he smokes considerately and never around me. I am very anti smoking being asthmatic (not helped at all by parents who smoked) and if he so much as smokes one cigarette/joint in the morning, and I see him in the evening, I can smell it, it can even trigger an asthma attack, which shocked him.
    He thought it was a joke at first. But quickly realised I wasn't joking.
    Each time he finds himself becoming stuck on something, finding a new addiction, he uses the "no-bullshit" technique to put it in check.
    He in return keeps me in check, by keeping my feet on the ground and my head out of the clouds. it works both ways.
    I work with images, I find a good way is to show people an image of themselves looking at their worst, or a video of them behaving badly if they are in a state they might not remember later.
    I ask them if this is what they think of themselves? is this their own image they have in their head. we all look different, just as we all sound different. to how we imagine
    I often video myself in times of shittiness. When Im feeling angry etc. When I play it back to myself, I see very quickly how ridiculous it is (I am). The video omits all feelings associated with the anger or other feeling. So all we see is what other people see. It's through the eyes of others we can judge ourselves calmly, balanced and adjust accordingly.
    I stand by my opinion of over-consumers. (I am the ONLY person in my family that has a BMI within the healthy range. and knowing my family as I do, I can vouch that non of them have illnesses of any kind causing their over eating, they simply consume because its a joy to eat. and eat)
    And, I really can't believe that if you (anyone on this forum) happen to be shopping in a supermarket and see a huge mother and daughter, BMI around 60 or so, stacking their trolley with crisps, coke, burgers and pizzas, you wouldn't at least try to suggest some sort of food education for them? if not directly which would be difficult, campaign at the supermarket for a healthier set of cheap options.

    Woah there... since when do we attack those people?! I'm pretty sure that isn't generally considered to be acceptable, and certainly not helpful :eek:

    read my previous post about my meaning behind the word attack. non physically. like I can sit down and attack an essay, or attacka pile of ironing. it means get to work, no faffing

    percentage of fat people generally through stupidity / percentage of people obese through no fault of their own particularly

    its the ones on the left Im referring to in all of this, that people seem to assume I am hating the ones on the right of the above balance/equation
    not so.
    I know what Prader-Willi syndrome is and its pretty rare.
    like fucking tourettes

    the over consumption here ie, the tiny percentage of earths population consuming 80% of the resources is what Im talking about
    so when I see someone in a country of privilege and abundance gorging themselves, on clothes and food and produce made by people who have nary bugger all. exploited, underpaid and living in povertyl.. I do actually feel a tiny pang of hate somewhere inside for the injustice of the system, perpetuated by the greedy few.

    unfortunately for me, i see greed as a literal thing. so when I see people smoking tobacco, produced in a country where the field workers picking that tobacco are paid pennies, or where people eat something without a conscience of how it came to be in their mouths....

    oof. i feel myself ranting all over again

    That's putting your own ego before the welfare of another person. Saying something might satisfy your own egotistical need to feel that you're intervening constructively, but it does absolutely nothing to help the other person. It demonstrates an absolute ignorance of how addictive/compulsive behaviour patterns work. For example, no smoker is ignorant of the effects of smoking. If it was that simply, nobody would smoke. Frankly, when I was smoking, comments like that would have made me more likely to have a cigarette. Hardly helpful, eh?

    That is a shockingly ignorant and self-absorbed viewpoint. You do not resolve addictive/compulsive behaviours by "attacking" them. :S

    Maybe you could apply a bit of that passion to being supportive? Just a thought. ;)

    in my ignorance, as I am not perfect, I can only do what I think is right at the time.
    Such as threatening my boyfriend with a machete (in jest I must add) when he attempted to light a cigarette a few seconds before traveling in a car with me. He is an addicted and addictive type of person. He gets addicted to pretty much anything there is. chocolate, weed, cheese, bread, so many things in excess for a short time, then stop and find something else. except the grass, thats a constant.
    I detest such addictive behaviour, and eating too much (which is an addiction too) is one such behaviour I can't sit by and watch and say... oh yeah, look shall we try some positive re-enforcement to assist you in your little difficulty?

    by attack, I dont mean physically, although id quite like to kick their arses, i mean, a plan of attack, go go go, do something. hup hup hup, no laying back and do fek diddly squat.
    Im no stranger to people close to me with difficulties (alcoholism, drug addiction, anorexia and morbid obesity) and I dont know any approach that actually works 100%, so I do it my way because I dont know another, and like that they can see the honesty in my intentions. no text book approach.

    but for the fact I talk openly about my thoughts on the matter of being faced daily with the morbidly obese, who, are self inflicted, non medicated, over eaters, I have incited hatred toward myself from others for not being meek about it.

    and, the very same boyfriend (mentioned above) who is addicted to any thing and everything says repeatedly, I am his saviour, the thing keeping him focussed, due to my take no bullshit approach. the hardline does work for some people. he is an addictive person, who, like many addictive people, need a tight leash kept on their cravings because, they dont go away.
    it's just a shame they are also like a black hole in terms of spiritual energy.

    Originally Posted by Varekai
    when you sit opposite someone who shoves two giant sausage rolls in, then proceeds to eat the napkin.... that's fairly conclusive. And I am related to several large units, i am not backwards in coming forward about telling them to stop stacking their plates so high with the junk.
    Urgh, the way you've worded this, and then you wonder why people think that you're filled with hate? Maybe it's just a case of bad wording, I hope so. I'm shocked that you just referred to your relatives as 'units', how unbelievably disrespectful.

    You're showing an enormous lack of understanding when it comes to the whole issue of obesity. Obesity isn't as simple as you think it is, it isn't just a case of greedy people overeating because they love food, what about emotional eaters? People develop a relationship between food and emotion at a young age, and some people comfort eat (in the same way that others barely eat) during unhappy periods in their lives. Then their self esteem drops so they eat some more, then they feel terrible about themselves because they're covered in a layer of blubber and they have people like you who are, 'not backwards in coming forward about telling them to stop stacking their plates so high with junk', which makes their self esteem even lower.... and the unhappy cycle continues.

    Also, people are poorly educated when it comes to healthy food, and that's something the government needs to consider and address, no benefit will come from judging and condemning people for making the wrong food choices.

    You say if I saw the people you saw, I'd understand where your bitterness comes from. Well, I'm not overweight either, and I come from a family with members who are, and I have friends who are, and I don't mention it to them, because it's none of my business and it's a very sensitive issue that would only hurt them if I brought it up. The only time I would ever mention weight issues to anybody, is if I was genuinely concerned about their health, and I would try and be gentle and subtle about it so as not to hurt them when discussing a very personal issue. What good is going to come from being so tactless and horrible? All you're going to do is hurt people.


    Now to put this in perspective, from the start, I am not a hater, at least thats how I view myself.
    but it seems it is the way I word things. with zero compassion. To add compassion would water down a serious matter.

    So, when I walk past someone smoking and look them in the eye and say, you will get throat cancer. the labels on cigarettes say the same.
    or if I see my over weight mum piling her plate high with junk, I say, you will have a stroke, you will become diabetic. sadly the packaging on junk food doesnt tell you about this risk. It just says, enjoy as part of a healthy diet.
    being overweight, eating for comfort, it should be attacked with the same vigor as an anorexic, bulimic, or self harmer. No sitting back and saying, ah, poor thing, has issues.
    It certainly doesnt mean you hate them if you show some passion in your attempt to show them you think what they are doing is extremely negative.
    Like when a person is laying injured in the road, if one person steps over them, so does the rest and they get left in the street for hours until someone who thinks differently stops to ask if they are alright.
    I consider myself that person. The one that stops.
    I dont just sit by and say nothing. so it's not full of hatred I speak of people who eat excessively. I try every angle of approach to see if I can assist or educate or something. Anything.. It's better than nothing. To say nothing for fear of upsetting someone is as bad as letting them self destruct alone.

    I remonstrated with one of my assistants at work for calling another member of staff a "unit" behind her back. I thought it sounded bad at the time because it was being used in a negative/underhand way. However, I use it to my mothers face (plus other relatives who know my sense of wicked humour) and they too find it funny in the right context.

    In this society we are more and more accustomed to obesity. it's a fact of life, if you give people cheap food, they wil eat it. and lots of of it. I just wish they could put the brakes on. someone needs to tell them where the pedal is.

    This is following on from the "what gets on your goat" and "what you really wanted to say was..." forums

    Now I expressed my own strong view on the vision of over consumption I am faced with daily on my commuter train and also from seeing photographs of people I once knew quite well (15 years ago) who have ballooned in size, to a size I, personally, find unacceptable due to my thoughts on over consumption.

    Another forum member commented saying that I sounded hate filled, which I tried to explain is not true, I don't feel hatred toward these over sized people.

    If someone asked me who do I hate?
    I have to think quite hard to find anyone or anything.

    There is not one single person that I know I could say that I hate. It's a very strong word.
    A certain situation, say a negative life changing moment, yes I could hate that.
    A subject such as female genital mutilation, that's something I hate.
    being called "babe" or "sweetheart" or "darling" I actually quite hate that too, it makes my toes curl and my teeth itch.

    but a person? no. I think to hate someone would mean a lack of forgiveness or letting go.
    some people say they "hate" margaret thatcher or the queen or ian brady or fred west, but they hate the image or the idea of that person, but most likely they dont know very intimately the actual person behind the name.

    I'm curious to know if my idea of hate is somehow different to others definition of the word. I have very few feelings at all for anything, I am almost devoid of emotion in quite a few areas of my life (other than pure happiness) so I wonder, sometimes, do I really come across as a hateful person by expressing my strong personal opinion on something like this? (human over consumption, manifest in obesity)

    Varekai, all you have done is post hatred of "fat people" on several threads. There are lots of reasons people become overweight. Do you also hate cripples, black people, gingers? If not what is the difference? Hate is hate

    not true, I didnt say hate. I dont hate.
    fat people taking up space, wide loaders who huff and puff and whinge about being fat... I find it offensive that they should consume so much and then "complain" about it afterward! they get my goat, I dont hate them, because they are still human, a living being with a mind and feelings and atoms at the core of their existence. (just more atoms than is naturally healthy)

    fat people who complain about being fat, like a smoker who complains about getting cancer or inability to do sport, you brought it on yourself. You didn't just wake up one day like that, you have to put some effort into arriving at your predicament. It takes time to become bloated and over fed. At what point do you think, hang on, Ive gone up several clothes sizes... how did that happen? you bought bigger clothes because the other ones ceased to fit your fat arse. How about you take the hint that when your clothes get tight, you ease up on the excessive eating? But taking up two train seats with massive sidebags of fat... that's just plain rude. And they even look accusingly at the seats like they are somehow smaller than they used to be! Excessively fat and sweaty people on my train really really get on my goat.

    This is a project I've been working on for a few years, and it suddenly hit me that perhaps a few people on here might have some additional material that I could use as part of my wider project of faking it in society.
    I haven't found the perfect name for it yet, it's either pimp your life, the lies no-one sees or something along those lines.

    It all started when I moved out of my rented flat and into my first boat a few years ago.
    just to obtain the boat in the first place meant I had to lie. Lie about my income, lie about a whole manner of things.
    then once on the boat I met many more people on my travels that had to do similarly to me and continue to do so.
    living slightly under the radar meant that to get anything done in society, meant having to lie, because the truth didnt fit the gap on the form I had to fill in, or the truth didn't give the right result. A simple lie, resulted in getting things done.

    the project moved on slightly to not only realising that society WANTS to see certain things and as long as you present that, fake though it may be, it is accepted without so much as a batted eyelid. The truth, the honest truth makes doors close in your face because it doesn't fit with societies model. So, when faced with a complete untruth, a so called person in authority fails to spot it, because they simply dont expect anything to be fake about the person in front of them. Some people, rather than necessity fake it for the buzz. They carry fake paperwork, fake ID's not because they have to, but because they love getting away with it. Much as a shoplifter does sometimes or someone who hacks computers.

    This has to be completely anonymous of course but I'd really like to hear anyone stories where they actually had a BUZZ from faking it. actually enjoyed being outside of society and pretending to conform to get something they want or need.
    such as: faking addresses, faking documents, paperwork, receipts, identity, marriage, gender, sexuality, age and so on.

    as a silly example, I rode through a red traffic light in the city of London, late at night when no traffic was around. two police on foot stepped out of the shadow of a building and stopped me.
    Now, if I had lied, I would have been on my way with a gentle ticking off and I would have caught my train and been home quickly.
    As it was, on that occasion I decided to tell the truth. sort of. They told me that they didnt have fine me or anything, but could just give me a verbal warning about not stopping at a red light.
    However, when they asked for my ID, I refused to give them any, saying I didn't have any on me, other than my train ticket and work security pass.
    I told them where I worked and that the address I was giving them was a correspondence address only. They then asked where I was living if not at the address I gave them, I smiled and told them, on a boat on the river somewhere not sure where yet as it was moved by the owner every other day and that I had to cycle down the tow path to find it. I joked, yes, I am a water gypsy. They said that it wasn't a politically correct thing to say. I said, yes but its the truth.
    They then got on the radio and were ready to arrest me because they weren't sure I was genuine. They verified who I was, my age, my address, how long I lived at the address, how long I lived away from the address and so on. I eventually got away with a fine and a telling off.
    If I had lied, if I had just said nothing, I would have got away without the fine.

    another example:
    I applied for a job as a man and as a woman, the man version of me got the interview.

    truth = trouble, a lie gets results.

    I would really like to hear more of the ways other people survive or get a buzz from being outside of the box, but pretending to all intents and purposes to be in it. It can be as legal or illegal as you like, everyone will be treated with utmost discretion.

    You can email me privately with your stories or examples or either how a lie made things work better or the truth caused mayhem!

    thanks for your help with this project, which I hope to turn into a book as well as an article for a magazine.

    Canon EOS 1D mk2 N

    yes, I was trying to keep it simple. I hate postcoded gadgets.
    (I also annoy everyone by calling our office camera the D5... when in fact its a Canon EOS 5D mk2)

    putting my photographers cap on...

    the panasonic series of Lumix cameras are pretty much all, very very good.
    I have a little Panasonic DMC LX3 in my bag at ALL times. Its great for many things, except sports and fast flying birds at a distance. it doesnt have optical viewfinder, not a problem.
    The thing is...

    I also have a DSLR, a large professional CanonD1, but I only take it with me if I know Im going to get paid to carry that thing around.
    A DSLR is so bulky and heavy it may end up not being taken anywhere, whereas a smaller more compact camera will most likely fit in a bag more easily and discretely.

    A camera is only good if its easily portable and a pleasure to use/carry.
    An all singing DSLR camera is useless if left at home because its too heavy or annoying to carry.

    the new micro 4 3rds cameras, EXCELLENT! they fit older lenses, pre digital and give massive creative scrope, without being bulky and annoying to carry around. more have an optional extra optical viewfinder that clips to a hot shoe fitting on the top of the camera.

    If I had the money, Id buy a bridge camera with interchangeable lenses. best of both worlds.

    Ive been called the Ice Queen for my lack of emotion in certain circumstances. I come across as harsh, cold, unfeeling and possibly angry... but that is not the case at all. How other perceive us to be is quite often not at all how we are.
    your friends seem to be seeing you as changing in a way they arent sure about, they arent sure they like this new you. But, then again, alot of people dont like change. maybe the thing they dont like is the change? but not really what the change represents?
    I have changed a lot over the years, but the main thing is that, like you identify, your lack of emotions, leaves you with less emotions, and those fewer emotions are GOOD ones! Thats how I feel I am. Less emotions makes for a simpler person, an easier to understand and get along with person.
    I'd say its good to be less emotional. because emotions can get in the way of what is otherwise another ordinary day on planet earth!
    Id give up every emotion there possibly was, in exchange for just the one... happiness. to be happy with every situation, no matter how bad it may seem. Not to trivialise it at all, I mean, to be abe to see the positive in every negative and feel happy about it.

    awesome way to be.


    people asking me if I saw X factor, or dancing with wolves or britains got dancers (on ice) or big brother or coronation-enders farm or the advert with meercats or the advert with that funny thing that happens when the funny person does something funny, or.. or... how many times do I have to repeat, daily, for the past 8 years... Sorry chaps no use talking to me, I dont have a telly.
    my dad saying to me, he's happy to help me out and buy me a small tv... because I must be bored at night.