The laughs and tears of.parenthood

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  • Two days ago my 4 year old girl fell on a concrete path when out feeding the garden birds. She grazed her knee and hand. I was there to pick up the pieces. Well not literally, she is almost too big/heavy for me to just whisk up and comfort if my backs playing up especially. but this occasion called for response. I knelt down to her, picked her back up to investigate any injuries. Seeing some issues, I had to explain shit happens. let’s get you back into the wagon and clean up those sore bits. But I couldn’t rise to stand easy, and made her walk. Eventually I sat her on my bed, cleaned the wounds and stopped any Pain with two plasters.:reddevil:


    To calm and reassure her she will live and will no doubt have more accidents hanging around with me, her dad. Showng her all the cuts and scars on both my hands.
    She asked me if I had hurt myself on purpose. Priceless :)

  • Two days ago my 4 year old girl fell on a concrete path when out feeding the garden birds. She grazed her knee and hand. I was there to pick up the pieces. Well not literally, she is almost too big/heavy for me to just whisk up and comfort if my backs playing up especially. but this occasion called for response. I knelt down to her, picked her back up to investigate any injuries. Seeing some issues, I had to explain shit happens. let’s get you back into the wagon and clean up those sore bits. But I couldn’t rise to stand easy, and made her walk. Eventually I sat her on my bed, cleaned the wounds and stopped any Pain with two plasters.:reddevil:


    To calm and reassure her she will live and will no doubt have more accidents hanging around with me, her dad. Showng her all the cuts and scars on both my hands.
    She asked me if I had hurt myself on purpose. Priceless :)

    I am with your daughter on this one Steve , I hope you have not been self harming my friend :eek:


    Its funny isnt it how a plaster especially one with a cartoon charecter on it can stop pain and suffering so quickly.

    In france any bruise,knock or little cut is referred to as a bo bo and often a plaster or kiss on the bo bo will fix the problem :-)

  • Yes just acknowledging a child's distress and comforting them is often enough. Eden on the other hand seems to have a pain threshold like no other. As a 4 year old, he would come back to the van door crying (funny how we know which kid is crying on site, like identifying birdsong) Eden’s mum would just kiss the sore bit, the tears stopped instantly and he was running back off to explore. To this day, he has never moaned about pain.
    My oldest daughter was a learning curve for me. I thought it best to be tough with her and “all” kids. About time someone made a manual or even an “app.” A commitment to raising healthy kids, is a fearful journey and one best served with salad cream.


    Eden was 4 when he came into my life. Observing I was much older than his mum “with all the days stories that has past. He once said “ was that before the Sun came and you lived in a cave”. He had heard me talk about black and white TV, photographs maybe. But certainly tales of living in woodlands with my horse etc.


    I’m a bit of a leg puller with little kids and with Anara I’ve the luxury to imagine a beautiful safe world, where growing up doesn’t necessarily need to be rushed. Life can be shit at times for all of us.
    My 4 year old girl gives back so much love, kindness and pleasure, better than any drug. She often seems years older and wiser, yet green as space juice with an appetite when questioned. :flirt:

  • Seems like yesterday I was sorting out the boy & his "booboos & ouchies" & trying to dry tears & offer reassurance. Then I woke up one morning & the little angelic boy who needed me so much had turned into a fuckin 6ft2ins 28stone ball of independence!

    Now I sit & go through the years & curse myself for the mistakes I made & the fact that those times are gone now & I don't get to go back & make things right.....😕

  • Seems like yesterday I was sorting out the boy & his "booboos & ouchies" & trying to dry tears & offer reassurance. Then I woke up one morning & the little angelic boy who needed me so much had turned into a fuckin 6ft2ins 28stone ball of independence!

    Now I sit & go through the years & curse myself for the mistakes I made & the fact that those times are gone now & I don't get to go back & make things right.....😕

    Like all parents you know which bits you regret Bigbear. I’m sure we all reflect and feel sadness about the way things worked out or wonder what if. In the grand scheme of family relationships, teaching the next generation to learn from our mistakes, (by default) may have done more good than harm in the long run. Especially if it prevents replication or further disharmony/ hurt.


    Your important time is now and
    in the future. I gather you’ve been raising your lad to the mountain of a man he is now. Your Son having “one” person in the world who can be supportive, trusted and alive is worth
    I wish I could thank my dad for his contribution, even though he made mistakes in the family. Our love didn’t die with him and his faults, errors faded with time and the happy memories just got stronger.

  • Thanks mate, I'm sure he loves his ol' man even tho things are rocky a lot of the time. I did the best I could. Probably have that on my headstone....

    I try every day to guide him & keep him on the right path, don't suppose I can do much more now except be there for him & hope for a reasonable result....☺

  • I think you can only do what you can only do and in the best way you can. No amount of effort,coaxing,kindness or coercion guarantees that the way a child turns out will be the way you expect or hope.

    I certainly didnt turn out how my father hoped or expected and for the 20 years i knew him we barely spoke, he never ever demonstrated any loving feelings to me and I mostly grew to hate him more and more until he was no more, and he resented how close me and my mother were like it was all her fault.


    After 40 years of trying to understand why he was as he was, his background and parenting and the parent he was to me, ive accepted it all as circumstance and collateral damage of his own upbringing, but ive not forgiven at all and determined never to emulate his treatment of me on any of my offspring.


    I think he would have actually accepted somewhere along the way that i achieved far more than he ever did,did things he never got to do or could ever have done and he would possibly have been proud of me in the end,but he also would never have told me so.


    Its pointless beating yourself up over your kids,they are who they are and parenting is only one part of the puzzle that influences who they are. In the world of today they seem to grow up as global internet

    children influenced by the same media,music, video,lifestyle fashion etc and less by their parents generational experience. Life happens on line and more relevant than real life to them and theyre all exposed to the same influences so its a big ask to expect them to become the kid youre hoping for as a parent.


    My two biological young kids dont live with me they live with their same sex parents in a wellheeled village,well looked after,could want for absolutely nothing and both very bright and intelligent, loving and caring,fully aware of how they arrived in the world and happy with that and carry on as normal without any influence or intervention from me.


    Maybe they may come to resent my lack of presence in their lives as they become teenagers, I dont know, maybe they'll be glad since im probably living a lifestyle theyd be embarrassed about? Who knows what goes through kids minds, but i can only be in it when circumstances allow and be who i am, if its not enough well too bad . Im certainly not going to regret anything, what will be will be.


    Im no lover of children,i have no patience for them or the trials and tribulations of parenting and it would drive me insane having to be responsible for children daily,especially with my own issues,so im glad my kids parents do have all the qualities i lack and can give what i cannot. I still love them and they love me and send me cards and presents so thats enough.

    Theyll make it in the world perfectly well,with or without me, just as I did myself.


    I know having a good parental relationship is very special,not every child or parent gets it right. Good parent /child relationship and positive experiences seems to the exception not the rule.

    Enjoy it while you can.

  • This morning our little girl told me “if We drink vinegar in a morning, just vinegar, it turns our skin a darker colour. Then she said, “I want skin colour like my friend Jessie, the sun turned him that colour when he was a baby.” :eek: what a conker


    I mumbled to myself, “I wonder if that’s why loads of lasses on the Council estate drank cheap cider in the 1990’s :whistle:

  • On cold mornings I try to warm my 4year old girl’s clothes up next to the woodburner as a treat and to get her dressed quick. This morning time was running away and I forgot to hang her clean pants until the last minute. So I dropped her pants on the cast iron stove to get some heat in to them. Making a fuss I told her to stop messing about and get her clothes on before they lost the heat. She realised my bluff when the cold nickers reached her arse and said “dad I’m not impressed.” :D

  • This morning our little girl told me “if We drink vinegar in a morning, just vinegar, it turns our skin a darker colour. Then she said, “I want skin colour like my friend Jessie, the sun turned him that colour when he was a baby.” :eek: what a conker


    I mumbled to myself, “I wonder if that’s why loads of lasses on the Council estate drank cheap cider in the 1990’s :whistle:

    Why Steve , did they change colour ? :reddevil: