Piggy with a gun

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  • A few months back went through a village and nearly got clocked by a biker. The kit was in his backbox with a camera attached to the bike so in all intent and purpose it was just a biker stood on the footpath with an unmarked bike. Only clocked it being a biker myself and saw what was in the backbox.


    I was doing about 34/35 on a steepish downhill in a 30 limit and he was stood opposite the village school and adjacent nursery which to me was fair enough and well justified.


    It was a fuckfuckfuckatyfuck moment and I returned and got chatting to him to see one way or another if I was in the shit. Nice guy, big grin as he knew why I'd returned, and no I was just under, anything 35 and above was in play and it was all on video and automatic.


    Turned out that some 6 and 8 leg quarry trucks had been doing the 'hell driver' bit through the village along with some regular commuters and he was there as the village had complained.

  • Similar story here , riding into the village from a dual carriageway I spied a hi-vis coat and motorbike 1/4 mile ahead , I was still doing about 45 as I entered the 30 zone and realised it was cop with camera , thinking quick I turned left into a side road , reasoning if he dont spy my plate on the rear and I dont give him a chance to flag me down I might be ok ....,it was a cul-de-sac :(

    Few minutes later the cop walks in to the cul-de-sac straight up to an innocent looking me pretending to play with my phone , I looked up at him and asked if everytjing was allright 'yes' he replied ' I am just getting some details I need to send you the fixed penalty for the offence that you just commited' , big grin and said 'goodbye ,ride safely'.

    3 points and a fine arrived about 2 weeks later.

  • Got a tug one xmas eve on the Edinborough bypass. Overtook a team my van in the rain & the bastard was tight up in front of the van so I had to take him as well. Did me for 82mph. Said seeing as it was xmas eve he would put me down at 75 so I would just get a fine & 3points, instead of getting a ban. He also said he might have let it slide if I hadn't been driving a 38 tonner!😕

  • When I first came over to france I was a bit younger and a bit more stupid with regards to road safety and I probably got flashed by fixed camera's about twenty times and stopped by the gens d armes ( translates into armed people ) on many occassions.


    Still on british plates I got away with it all. Never heard from the fixed camera flashes and got told by the gendarmes to lift my foot up a little but as I was a brit they could not give me points on my uk licence and maybe not fine me !!


    It did change in later years and I did pick up an on the spot fine in my ford focus estate,but that is a great story for another time when I have got a bit more time on my hands. will tell soon :-)

  • Should just have time -


    I overtook a french camper van somewhere near limoges as he indicated to let me know it was safe to get past and got past him just before the third arrow in the centre of the road that tells you to get back over before the solid white line.

    Just after there were two plods who waved me over and were insistant that I had crossed the white line and had to give them 90 euros. I know full well that I had not crossed it as it would of been damn dangerous to of done so and had the power to get in a few metres before it,so I told them that I had done no wrong and would not pay them.


    The gendarmes are not used to someone answering back as a hand placed on a gun scares hell out of the locals and they always get their arses kissed,but no sir not by me facing an injustice.


    We argued this for about 15 mins and I still said that they would have to take me in as I would not pay. I did this in English pretending that I had very little french just to make it a bit more awkward.


    They gave me a breathe test and swabbed my mouth for a drug test,but I was fine on both accounts.


    Anyhow,long story a bit shorter,I could see that we were making little progress and the day was wasting away and I still had about four hundred miles to go so decided to change tact and become their friend.


    They were both big fella's and looked very athletic and sporty so I thought I bet they play rugby,so I will talk rugby with them.


    I said that the tests were a waste of time as I was a rugby player at a pro level and got tested often in the sport. I had not at that time really muscled up much and albeit I was very fit and healthy I know full well that I did not look like a pro rugby player,but had good legs and arms from physical work so thought that the blag may work.


    They sort of sniggered and stood back looking me up and down and one said sarcastically " what position 11,14 maybe which are the nimbers of the wingers who always used to be the smallest and fastest players; I responded,no sir I am a scrum half which is number 9 and a very important position. Thats when it changed to my favour and the sergeant said " un tres bon position monsieur ". Then we happily chatted rugby.


    After a while we agreed that we were not going to make any progress in our different views on the reason why they stopped me,but also that they would not let me go so a compromise had to be made.


    In the end I had to accept as had already changed their mind and thought that its best that I walk away with a bit of progress rather than unjustly paying the fine.


    He asked me how much could I afford to pay and I said next to nothing as my girlfriend and I were off to a job in the south and had very little funds albeit I had about a grand in cash in my wallet !!

    He went over to his car and pulled out a list of offenses from his briefcase and what the fines are.

    At the bottom of the list was the cheapest fine which was for mauvaise signalisation ( bad signalling I think in english) and this was 22 euros. I agreed though said that I still found it unfair and went over to the car to sneak the money out of my wallet so that he did not see the wad in there.


    I was still annoyed but at least I had managed to get a bargain and save 68 euros from what they wanted me to pay and got quite a good story out of the situation which when told the french looked at me in awe.


    So both Rachel and I drove off down the road having quite a laugh about it and she was more than impressed with my economic prowess and the cheek that I had.


    But,it was true that I did not touch that white line.


    Voila,my little story :-)

  • Well done on keeping your nerve IC, back in the early 90s we were coming through a Swiss border checkpoint and were ordered out of the van at gunpoint, me and my mate were worried, and those guns looked serious! We were marched into a room until they found a copper that could speak English,turns out we were not displaying a motorway payment sticker,(we had not bought one), we paid for use of the motorway and left quickly very glad that the van was not searched! :whistle:

  • Reading your post Boris reminded me of a mate I had who wanted to take a mate of ours ashes who had died and scatter them in the Indian Ocean who had died.

    A couple of them set out in VW camper and pulled up near to a beach somewhere in Spain to have a kip,they were woken in the night by armed coppers who started going through their stuff to see what they had, coming across the pot with the ashes in they were asking in Spanish whats this and my mate saying ashes and the coppers sniffing at saying hashish,after 5 minutes of this comedy the coppers eventually let them go on their way.

  • Ok quick update on the piggy with a gun,it's been over 2weeks now since the incident and still no brown envelope through the letterbox so fingers etc crossed I think I'm ok? I was told that the fine must be served within 14 days??