My husband used to have this moan about his dyslexia.

Now, however, there seems to be a lot more awareness regarding dyslexia. My stepson was given every possible assistance when he was at uni because of his dyslexia. Also, everyone at my uni that has dyslexia is given a full assessment and tailored assistance.

I'm shite at maths.

I did manage to get a C for my O grade. Primary school was fine, secondary school went a bit like this:

First year - teacher was OK as long as we turned up but never really taught us. Most of the time I spent talking to Aileen Fisher.

Second Year - bloody horrible man, I was terrified of him

Third and Fourth - Mostly winged it as nothing really got through in the first 2 years either due to inactivity or fear.

Now I am good at arithmetic and I have done wages and double entry book-keeping.

But what the hell - equations, proofs and polynominals?????

What kind of sadist came up with them?

Getting to the point - In a practical today, I knew the theory - 2 agonists - measuring % contraction (on a virtual model) of a piece of ileum in an organ bath with regard to successive dosing concentrations.

Then you add an antagonist to the reservoir linked to the organ bath the drug is going into and see agonist is inhibited. Then you plot your dose response curves, work out your EC50 and you do your freaking maths stuff.

Well, I had a neurology appointment yesterday. I told the head of the course and asked could I come on friday. She is supernice. Of course.

Came on Friday, sat down and another lecturer bitchswanked up and asked me why I was doing a different experiment. I explained that if I didn't do this today I would have no opportunity to do it as my groups did it yesterday when I went to my neuro and Dr Murray said it was OK - she tried again to get me to switch virtual experiments before going off to see Dr Murray. Then she came back and said it was OK.

So not a good start. I balsed things up a bit worrying about the maths to come and took a while. In the end, the one who made a fuss at the begining came over to say that another class would be in and I would have to do the graphs in my own time. I asked for graph paper, not unreasonable as we have had to do this on paper before. oh, no says she we are doing this on excel. I said 'like the task you gave us in the first week', she says 'what task?' THE FREAKING ONE WE HAD 4 DAYS TO DO AND WERE TOLD ABOUT ON THE MORNING OF DAY 1, THAT ONE! - and I'm the one that's on the drugs that are meant to affect your memory, I really do wonder sometimes. 19 days later she has forgotten it.

Anyway, she opens excel and without asking, are you OK with this? proceeds to show me how to do graphs in excel.

I used to do daily, weekly and monthly reports in one job on excel. I can think of two other jobs where I have had to use excel and access. I also used publisher to design my initial promotional stuff for teaching swimming.

I have been trying so bloody hard at the maths and now because I'm not some kind of freaking maths genius and I have an hour less to do the experiment today than I would have yesterday, she assumes I'm a bit dim all round and shows me how excel works FROM FREAKING SCRATCH. I cant say anything because she's a lecturer and I am dim at maths and she has helped in the past but I'm not freaking stupid at this.

Bloody wank of an educational psychologist said I hadn't dyscalculia to me, then in a report said I had. THEN told those ********* (sorry the language is bad enough I cant let it get worse)at PIP, that it was caused by my epilepsy.

Arsehole was never told about my epilepsy when I was tested. I was asked and I said no don't tell him and the report didn't mention it. If my epilepsy is to blame explain the good marks in primary school? Had it since I was 3 - twat.

Most of the lecturers seem to think I just need practice. I'm sick of freaking practicing.

Or more to the point, I'm sick of having no confidence in my maths so people assume I am generally thick. I understand theory just as well if not better than most in the class but just put up and shut up in case any follow up maths is asked.

Sorry for the bitch... but I really am getting tired of this.

The rest may have just tripped out of their precious higher maths, but who was first out of the H&S exam for level 2 lab clearance and got an A1 - some advantages to having some more years on the clock.

No one comes up and says 'Wow, you got an A1 in H&S' though.