Not looking for ... ;-)

  • I notice that many people arrive here and introduce themselves as looking for "like-minded people". That does not resonate much with me. I find people who are "differently-minded" more interesting. I really value the friendships and acquaintances I have made on UKH, precisely because you fill a gap in my life experience that would remain just that otherwise. I am moored in a fairly remote area and there are probably fewer than ten other people within half a mile. They are interesting because their lives and experiences are so different from mine. Although on excellent terms we are not "friends" other than by geographical proximity and accident or by the fact that I pay a monthly rent. When I go out I am invariably mixing with other musicians and, much as I love my closest friends, it is really inspiring to have input from the perspectives of others.


    It would be invidious to single people out on here for special mention in this message, but I hope you already know who you are. I feel loved and welcomed by my differently-minded friends, even the ones I have yet to hug in real life. This is not a farewell message, but there is so much awful news around at the moment based on division and separation that I just wanted to kneel, raise a glass (or flag ;) ) to the joy and value of difference.
    Thanks for making my life richer :ptype:

  • Awwww Such Beautiful Real Kind Truthful Words Marshlander And I Feel And Think That Way Too Exactly Like You Do And Be :))


    All My Mahoosive (((Hugggs))) Of Love And Bounce Bounciness To You This Beautiful New Born Day And Always Wherever You May Be Or Sail And Go :))) ♡♡♡x

  • Even though we on here are like minded-ish,were all different..even twins i would imagine see life differently...im probably rambling,lol,but hope you know what I mean...just celebrate your individuality..and smile😊😊😊😊😊😊😊😊...and big hippy hugs marshy,you re just lovely💜xx

  • Thanks for your contributions, dear friends. I suppose many of us are looking for our tribe whilst trying to assert our own individuality ...


    Such True Wise Words Marshlander And I Always Say "If You Cannot Find Your Tribe Well Just Be Making Your Own Even If Its Only A 1 People/Person/Being Tribe hehehehe :)) ..As Then Its Defo A Happy Hippy Colorful Bouncie Crazy Loco Musical Dancing One etc etc And BEAT YOUR OWN DRUM ....Hehehehe..
    Yep Gooo Wild ...Gooo Free...Gooo
    "TRIBAL MARSHLANDER STYLE" hehe And YOUR TRIBE Will Come To You And Will Find You hehehehe:))) xx
    Love Ya Lots Jelly Totts ♡♡♡ hehehe:))

  • I notice that many people arrive here and introduce themselves as looking for "like-minded people". That does not resonate much with me. I find people who are "differently-minded" more interesting. I really value the friendships and acquaintances I have made on UKH, precisely because you fill a gap in my life experience that would remain just that otherwise. I am moored in a fairly remote area and there are probably fewer than ten other people within half a mile. They are interesting because their lives and experiences are so different from mine. Although on excellent terms we are not "friends" other than by geographical proximity and accident or by the fact that I pay a monthly rent. When I go out I am invariably mixing with other musicians and, much as I love my closest friends, it is really inspiring to have input from the perspectives of others.


    It would be invidious to single people out on here for special mention in this message, but I hope you already know who you are. I feel loved and welcomed by my differently-minded friends, even the ones I have yet to hug in real life. This is not a farewell message, but there is so much awful news around at the moment based on division and separation that I just wanted to kneel, raise a glass (or flag ;) ) to the joy and value of difference.
    Thanks for making my life richer :ptype:


    Just beautifully put. :hippy3:

  • I came looking for some sort of community, even a virtual one, if I actually met anyone like me I would hate them anyway. I am a woman of a certain age, getting fat, looks well and truely faded, all my peers have kids, got married , have mortgages and careers, all things I care nothing for, so I find I was increasingly alone in a crowd.


    This place helps me not feel like an utter freak living in a Babylon I don’t care to understand, I don’t have any pressure to explain non average life choices, just an individual who wants very little from others and expects less.


    I cannot agree more with what you wrote, Marshlander, we live in a society that seems to care more for selfish things, to have more and more and more importantly to be seen as having it, to create a them and us so they can look down and oppress the “them.”


    So, yeah, Vive La Différence.

  • I was pointed to this site by Sooty, who said I would enjoy it. I wasn't sure, I'm not really a forum person, but it is nice to hang out somewhere I don't feel too freaky due to my life choices. I still have to tell my close family that I live as I do through choice, not because I am poor. Mostly folk on here have similar world views - even if their opinions are wildly different from mine.


    I think that when folk come here and say that they are looking for like minded people, this is what they might mean. Hopefully not that we are all clones of each other, but just generally accepting that although we are all superficially different, that it is not as important as our commonalities.

    If men bore wings and had black feathers, few would be intelligent enough to be crows.

  • I have lIved in a box for 9 years now, my 2 kids think I'm a loony, can't understand why I like getting away to warmer climes in winter.
    We are all different thank goodness.I like coming on this forum, so many different varied people and views.

  • I came here -and another hippy site now defunct- to see if there was any of the old hippy scene still left after a long hiatus from it and find people who -unlike most of my friends and people i know - dont talk forever about their house/ children/cars/job/football/celebs and TV and perpetually criticise me for.being 'a pikey' or weird.(I like being weird).
    I dont need validation for how I live from anyone and we dont all agree -boring if we did- but it is nice to know there are still many people around who generally feel the same way about life and this site provides a focal point for anyone looking for an escape from the tedium of conventional consumerist living
    .Im also grateful to the help ive had from a few people on here who have helped me find parkups or helped me out of a hole....Yes you csn do these things on your own but it is so much easier if you have a community who look out for one another especially when the powers that be are flexing their muscle..or help each other out no matter what thst help is...Its the kind of community glue youll only find in very rare and harsh living environments usually , that in itself is worth more than gold.

  • Lots of earnest talk here, which is nice, but also I just have The Life Of Brian in my head:


    "Yes, we are all different!"
    "I'm not"


    Like-minded doesn't always mean same-thoughted, maybe that's where you're coming from. What's nice is finding people also of a mind to just meet each other honestly and respectfully, regardless of their opinions or experience and all that.

  • Lots of earnest talk here, which is nice, but also I just have The Life Of Brian in my head:


    "Yes, we are all different!"
    "I'm not"


    Like-minded doesn't always mean same-thoughted, maybe that's where you're coming from. What's nice is finding people also of a mind to just meet each other honestly and respectfully, regardless of their opinions or experience and all that.


    Hagrid got slotted. I didn't agree with some of his views but he was interesting, a good poster and I miss his posts, well most of them anyway. He may have been too far right but people stand on their own two feet not those of others. :hippy3::hippy2:

  • Quote

    Hagrid got slotted. I didn't agree with some of his views but he was interesting, a good poster and I miss his posts, well most of them anyway. He may have been too far right but people stand on their own two feet not those of others.


    This forum never has and never will accept racist opinions.
    Us mods were getting far too many reported posts from people upset by Hagrid and coming across people angered by his far right stance in various topics. His racism was intolerable for a good number of members here and it was no surprise to find he was a BNP member. He was about as far as you can get from furthering love, peace and respect for all and it was a shock for some of us to read many of his posts in this hippy forum.
    Being 'differently minded' is no problem until it includes supporting racist attitudes and disrespect towards those opposed to racism and fascism.

  • Agreeing with the above I think like-minded might be those people that aren't racist, homophobic or otherwise negative or depressing to be around. I get that shit at work, here I find people that while not always agreeing are willing to listen and discuss the differences.

  • There used to be another member here right from the start of ukhippy (just about) that people used to complain about a lot, he was very good at arguing and debating, as far as I know he was banned a few years back, but he sure as heck made debates interesting, shame he has gone. :D

  • There used to be another member here right from the start of ukhippy (just about) that people used to complain about a lot, he was very good at arguing and debating, as far as I know he was banned a few years back, but he sure as heck made debates interesting, shame he has gone. :D

    I miss his mind and contributions too. I can only imagine the depth of thought he and zendaze could have taken me too. ;)

  • Yes I can see the point about enjoying the comfort found in the sympathetic appreciation of similar viewpoints. I do, though, find myself quite conflicted between the desire to be with people who don't try to challenge me or dish out the crap and the realisation that my ideas probably represent someone else's crap. I feel inclined to move the discussion on a little.


    I think there is sometimes a fine line between accepting that other people see the world in a different way and being thought of as endorsing points of view that one finds repugnant. Like most people here, homophobic and racist comments are among those I find deeply unpleasant and, like some, I find organised religion total anathema. However, I don't think I have ever been sufficiently and convincingly challenged to think otherwise (except for maybe in the specific case of religious indoctrination and my experiences are already well-enough documented elsewhere on this site). For example, I do find myself having to think a lot about comments being made by someone I once considered a good friend. He is Jew by birth and in the thirty years I have known him a loyal Labour supporter. However, he has recently become been a strong and vocal critic on a very personal level of Jeremy Corbyn and the anti-Semitic storm that seems to surround him. One might think that one should be able to criticise Israeli policy without being thought of as anti-Semitic, but I don't think he sees it like that. I know he was always a believer in dialogue and fairness, but a few years ago he naively placed himself in a very dangerous situation at work (in multi-cultural education) with a group of Palestinians as a direct result of his passion for and commitment to understanding and dialogue. They were unrelenting in their criticism of Israel, of Zionists and would not entertain dialogue with Jews at any level. I think that experience affected him at a very fundamental level and I have seen him release his previously held Buddhist philosophies in favour of an increasingly strong and more aggressive Jewish identity. I suspect he has probably considered this a matter of personal survival.


    I think I understand a little of this process, because a few years ago (although not currently a member of any political party) I attended one or two meetings convened by groups such as The People's Assembly and Stop The War when invited by another friend. I found myself in workshops and discussions where there seemed to be an undercurrent of some rights apparently trumping others. Rightly or wrongly my perception was that Muslim rights prevailed over lgbt+ ones. I felt deeply uneasy and unable to subscribe to such a hierarchy of rights. Was this because my rights were being directly threatened? Would I have felt the same discomfort were I not affected at such a personal level? Whatever, the result has been that I have been unwilling to enter what currently feels like a lion's den either to gain greater enlightenment or to enter dialogue.


    I believe I have a right to live in peace and safety, but I hope I don't have a right not to feel offended. If I am prevented by law from being offended by another point of view (because the law prohibits others from giving offence) how will I ever develop critical faculties? Surely the worst of all possible futures is that we feel afraid to explore our ideas either vocally or in writing. I have to believe it is possible for one's point of view to change and develop in the light of new understandings, but does that mean I am arguing the case that my points of view could slide into fundamentalism given sufficient repetition of plausible-sounding argument? I have Dutch friends who make a very plausible case for reasserting Dutch identity in the face of demographic changes being experienced in The Netherlands. This doesn't stop me from feeling deeply repulsed by the notion of what feels like rabid nationalism. Of course, there are, quite rightly, safeguards in place to attempt to ensure the protection from harassment and physical harm, but harassment is not the same thing as having a different opinion.


    Like-minded? Differently-minded? I don't know if I'll ever be able to pin down a definitive point of view. I just know that "like-minded" rings alarm bells in my head.

  • Well put Marshy. I hsve to say i tend to cringe a little when i see people arrive at this site looking for 'like minded people' what exactly does that mean as we may -or some of us may -share some similar values or desires and a revulsion of what 'the system' is but we are far from like minded.


    From my own perspective there are very few people here.who are 'like minded' to me or share my views or attitude. There are plenty here who are on the complete opposite end of the spectrum to my experiences and my views based on those,many I find unsavoury and at odds with what I always felt as open minded tolerant and traditionally 'hippy' but I dont physically have to spend time with those people or interact online so its of limited impact to me personally.
    I can challenge or ignore -mostly i do the latter as I cant be bothered with dealing with unpleasantness, unpleasant people or attitudes that hugely irritate me and spoil my day when i dont need to; but it does concern me that a community generally considered to be based on open mindedness non conformity and tolerance is far from it and drifting further toward the wider society attitudes and politics hippys once used to outright reject.


    In fact id say its probably very difficult to define a huge difference between the hippy alternative community and the wider politicised consumerist society we claim not to want to be part of and instead be part of a 'like minded' community.


    Apart from the fact it says Hippy on this site I could quite easily be reading any post here on any mainstream newspsper or media forum and often do,there is so little that separates us from the mainstrea and ,that I find disconcerting and depressing.
    Arguably it was ever thus,that we've skirted the mainstresm cherry picking what we like and rejecting what we dont but I think.our differences to mainstream have in the past been more marked and defineable.Less so now,sometimes you can barely slide a sheet of paper between.us and mainstream.


    At the moment there are more positives thsn negatives about this place and the 'hippy' community though, plenty more i agree with than disagree and a few people with whom I share a common purpose or outlook.


    I think its always healthy to appraise what youre part of and whether its healthy for you remaining part of .
    So long as it remains positive,that you feel comfortable with a community (however loose that term may be)of people who generally share the same or similar outlook and desires and lifestyle and who look out for each other then its worth preserving a connection to I think. Ive mentioned it before but there us still a kind of glue that holds us together and a priceless asset.


    But as with all communities ,views and feelings can become polarised and cliques form and then members of that community feel compelled to migrate to a side of the field they feel most comfortable with or to walk away from as some alresdy have and the 'community' dynamic is lost.


    Ive seen this happen within the LGBT community so much there barely is any glue holding it together.and political and religious groups too as you probably have and referred to and its distinctly unpleasant,negative and unhealthy and I think when that happens it IS time to walk away.


    Maybe thats an element of playing ostrich,of ignoring that which we dont like when rightfully we should stand snd fight for whst we believe and want to preserve.Or maybe its an element of self preservation,not wanting to be sucked in and dragged down by whats becoming mainstream decay.


    For now i think I can tolerate alternatives radical views and attitudes but as part of a wider society thats becoming more polarised i think its inevitable our community will be too.When/if it does i simply wont be here sticking around.


    I dont need to belong to any community or society that much that I feel pressured to some kind of conformity or adopt a standpoint within in it....
    Im a libertarian socialist,irreligious mash of celtic, pagan, and foreign cultures, non conformist open minded bit of a hippy bit of a traveller..its nice to know there are similar folk about but whether theres a community or not or whether it preserves any identity of like mindedness wont change how i live or my values.

  • I only get wound up by pro Brexit arguments of which there are many here, I love the freedom of living in Europe and feel it is an attack on the lifestyle I love. That said, some of the people I most disagree with on that I would love to share a brew and a chat with as they seem to have similar outlook on life on other subjects.


    I feel key is to compartmentalise disagreements, once arguements shift between threads, the place turns toxic, UKH is good for not doing that.

  • Lots to agree with there, NRT. I sometimes feel I would like to be part of a group because that group seems to espouse aims and values that resonate with me. There is an understandable tendency to gravitate towards others sharing similar values and experience and it is an opportunity to go forward exploring similar ideas in company. We learned to do it early on as a species in order to protect ourselves.


    In the twenty-first century it ought to have been possible to have evolved to a stage where huddling together in groups is no longer necessary, but rather than our social evolution allowing all individuals the responsibilities of personal freedom the opposite seems to have happened. We often huddle together in groups to preserve and promote our ideas and prejudices in order to make the persecution of others easier. At the very least we persecute through exclusion. Often these groups also contain elements and values that I find disrespectful to people I love and may indeed be counter to the common good. How many times does someone's "god" enshrine prejudice in so-called doctrine?


    There are groups I have almost joined, but something about them has prevented me from signing up. I guess that is one of the lessons I have carried forward from surviving a cult upbringing. I rather like the Groucho Marx comment that he wouldn't want to join any club that would have him as a member.

  • I only get wound up by pro Brexit arguments of which there are many here, I love the freedom of living in Europe and feel it is an attack on the lifestyle I love. That said, some of the people I most disagree with on that I would love to share a brew and a chat with as they seem to have similar outlook on life on other subjects.


    I feel key is to compartmentalise disagreements, once arguements shift between threads, the place turns toxic, UKH is good for not doing that.


    Thanks, LV. I have not looked at the Brexit thread, because I know it will probably provoke me to spend hours making some kind of a response. If I have a day with nothing pressing on my to-do list (at the moment daily practising is a must and I have a stack of unfinished songs to be getting on with) I may well dive back into it. It won't be today though.


    I enjoy being able to discuss ideas with others who have different points of view, but that is not always an option. I'm sure we have all seen those YouTube videos of people who are so emotionally committed to an issue that they cannot even listen to what someone else is saying. There is often a mob encouraging greater confrontation and that makes a very sad outcome with no way forward. Back people against a wall and there is nothing left to do but lash out.


    I like your idea of compartmentalising disagreements. I hadn't thought of discussion in quite those terms so I shall give it some serious thought. I have spent a lot of my past twenty years breaking through the walls I had been forced to erect in order to survive, so a little more evaluation may be in order. May I quote some of your final sentence in a song? It would make a good line!

  • Lots to agree with there, NRT. I sometimes feel I would like to be part of a group because that group seems to espouse aims and values that resonate with me. There is an understandable tendency to gravitate towards others sharing similar values and experience and it is an opportunity to go forward exploring similar ideas in company. We learned to do it early on as a species in order to protect ourselves.


    In the twenty-first century it ought to have been possible to have evolved to a stage where huddling together in groups is no longer necessary, but rather than our social evolution allowing all individuals the responsibilities of personal freedom the opposite seems to have happened. We often huddle together in groups to preserve and promote our ideas and prejudices in order to make the persecution of others easier. At the very least we persecute through exclusion. Often these groups also contain elements and values that I find disrespectful to people I love and may indeed be counter to the common good. How many times does someone's "god" enshrine prejudice in so-called doctrine?


    There are groups I have almost joined, but something about them has prevented me from signing up. I guess that is one of the lessons I have carried forward from surviving a cult upbringing. I rather like the Groucho Marx comment that he wouldn't want to join any club that would have him as a member.


    Ive never been fond of groups,clubs or bodies that claim to represent an interest.Ive heen in a few,they all begin with grandiose intent, of inclusivity and benefitting all,but very soon the intent becomes narrowly focused to the benefit of a few and the inclusivity vanishes.Power over the control and influence of the group cedes to a few and supercedes the original.intent and motives...at which point ive had enough.


    I think youre right on the huddling...We llve in an age of information technology that gives access to a quantity of knowledge beyond our dreams and all available in nano seconds yet the default setting seems to be to find a group and huddle,perhaps once settled in and brave enough ask some elders some questions and lurk hoping no one criticises your hair.....sound familiar? we've been doing it for 100s of centuries.


    You would think even rudimentary grasp of search engines would provide all the answers one needs to everything from tieing shoe laces to nuclear physics and so informed able to tackle any issues single handedly in an educated manner without need for group support or backup or comfort.


    As a species i think we do 'huddle' we fall back on the concept of safety in a group and the belief it will benefit us and leave other more brave( or devious) souls to dish out instructions or knowledge.
    Religion and politics rely on our huddling instinct...little wonder we're in a mess.

  • As a species i think we do 'huddle' we fall back on the concept of safety in a group and the belief it will benefit us and leave other more brave( or devious) souls to dish out instructions or knowledge.
    Religion and politics rely on our huddling instinct...little wonder we're in a mess.


    Not a big fan of groups, they always seem to descend to bullshit, there is also no such thing as equality in groups as there is always a small majority who try to rule over and steer the rest of the group. Even in groups there is no guarantee of safety, groups can turn on their own members very easily, especially any members who might challenge the social norms of a group, people do not like discomfort so in a group situation they will often turn on those they perceive as causing discomfort, even if that person is trying to change the group for the better. Sometimes I think hermits have the right idea, people seem to be more of a pain in the arse in groups than when they are on their own .:)