• Been conversatin with someone today and talk turned to fidelity. Got me thinking, I was raised by parents who are still together now and always believed in fidelity. Anyways, my ex didn't and my life caved in when I found out what was happening. So now we're divorced and I've been alone these last 5years. So if I was to meet someone else,would fidelity be important again? Suppose it'd depend on the circumstances. If a casual relationship was offered, then I suppose the thing to do would be take it as it comes and not worry about fidelity or anything else, just live in the moment and enjoy?. Fidelity is still important to me, but not convinced it's as important as I once thought. Probably is in a serious relationship though. Any thoughts people??

  • If it's just casual sex then let the other person know it's just casual. No point in playing head games, they hurt peoples feelings. It's better to know where you stand from the start than be led to think otherwise.

  • Think that's the thing. Up to my split, I never wanted a casual thing, always seemed important to be in a serious thing. Now I think what's important is to get out and experience more of life and not get tied too tight to anything for a while.

  • mmmmm, well I have been stressing about this for a good while now.


    Been wit my OH for 30 years and we are in a state of mutual discomfort and going no'where. He is happy in withdrawal and life of a hermit - I am screaming Nooooooooooo i am not going quietly, too much to do.............so - who caves in ?????????


    did either of us ought to cave in - I don't think so - so we will investigate an exit strategy that might prove to be a gateway to heaven - my visitor messages thread will place updates because my brain is so chokka with data I can't remember there the fuck I said things xxx

  • I Think That Anybody Should Not Let A Hurtful Bad Moment In Life That Was Caused By Someone Who You Loved And Trusted Hurt Or Broke You..."Change You From Who You Truly Are And Who You Are Most Happy To Be And Comfortable To Accept And Be And Want In Life Or Want And Need From Another...


    Because You Are Thinking And Acting Out Of Hurt And Pain And Anger And Confusion ...Of What Someone Has Done To You ....Instead Of Just Being Simply From You.


    So Always Be True To Your True Self And Your True Needs And Wants And Be A Truer Happier Comfortable You...And Be And Do And Live Doing Things That Make You Truly Happy .. And Truly Comfoetable.. Rather Than Let Another Push You Into Something That You Are Not Ready To Be Or Truly Comfortable To Be And Just Simply Be Honest And Truthful To Yourself And You Always:)

  • Think that's the thing. Up to my split, I never wanted a casual thing, always seemed important to be in a serious thing. Now I think what's important is to get out and experience more of life and not get tied too tight to anything for a while.

    My friends keep saying that to me! I'm just going to go with the flow of the universe and I'll see what the hell happens :) and I'm planning on enjoying every moment! Bring on the adventure! Wahoooooo!

  • Nice one! Had a bit of an epiphany recently and now see the whole life thing differently. Things I've held important all my life don't seem to matter much now. Feel like I want to do things now that I've fancied all my life ,but only now are they taking priority. Maybe that's why I'm feeling a bit confused on some issues just now.

  • The thing about an illicit affair is the excitement, its just crazy,the danger increases the intensity. Its like suddenly walking out of an old black and white movie into bright vivid technicolour for a few stolen moments.

  • Yet another really nice thread on UKH, about the things that matter - and confusion, yeah I know that one at the moment - throwing off the chains that bind ones dreams can be a scary thing and all kinds of debris can fall out, but "smells of hippy, that nice warm peaceful smell" - nice personal vision. Just hope that each and every finds their own heaven on earth - could happen.........and then what a different planet we'd be on xxx

  • The thing about an illicit affair is the excitement, its just crazy,the danger increases the intensity. Its like suddenly walking out of an old black and white movie into bright vivid technicolour for a few stolen moments.


    Not to disrespect Bernie, never until now had an illicit affair (and in fact what I've done recently doesn't really qualify as such, because it's mostly fantasy, no'one in their right mind would have an affair with a wayward like me) - and not really something I would ever want to do to my partner, no matter how appealing.


    My dance with someone here on UKH is a piece of pure unadulterated joy because if the man hadn't stepped up, I would never have had a tiny glimpse of what a lovely deep person he is........should I have missed that "finding out" - my life would have been much poorer.


    What's going on with me is more like a personality breakdown.....like something big tipped my moral compass on the deck and hit it with a mallet. When a core piece of structural engineering like that gets taken apart all seems chaos, but I'm hoping the pieces can be used to build something that might combine the beauty of black and white and the glory of colour and not just for those stolen moments either.


    I love Wulfies idea that it is each travellers own path and if they are blessed they may find their path converge with another going in a similar direction rather than one path being made a dead end and dragged onto one that that is someone elses. That just means dank submission and wasted potential, probably for both parties.


    Life could be lived for "every" moments - wish I'd twigged earlier, but better late than never. So many peeps on this site, lovely souls, you wanna just cuddle them up and let them feel good, should be in the water supply really. :huglove: xxx

  • Nice one! Had a bit of an epiphany recently and now see the whole life thing differently. Things I've held important all my life don't seem to matter much now. Feel like I want to do things now that I've fancied all my life ,but only now are they taking priority. Maybe that's why I'm feeling a bit confused on some issues just now.



    epiphany - what a wonderful word and concept.
    I love these rare moments of enlightenment and I'm never afraid to change my worldviews and actions when the light goes on.
    james

  • The thing about an illicit affair is the excitement, its just crazy,the danger increases the intensity. Its like suddenly walking out of an old black and white movie into bright vivid technicolour for a few stolen moments.


    Although I know what you mean exactly...black and white aint always dusty and faded honey......I'm sure you know, but just to remind ya: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_Stieglitz


    and if that don't convince you.......how about: https://youtu.be/Xb4-ZmIu-_E

  • Wow this has got me thinking ..Thank you
    On the 3rd November this year at 11:30 I am getting married to a wonderful girl, we have been together for six years now, faced and come through some horrible situations and had mainly fantastic memorable times together
    But I adore her always have done and at this stage of our journey together it just feels "right" and feels "natural" like stepping off on you right foot and landing on your left
    Before our relationship I spent almost eight years as a single man & done all the stuff a single man does , but it always felt so shallow to me, life did in general I never felt complete , that could be due to me as an individual, my age , my surroundings and influence ..
    To cut to the chase , we are all allowed to make mistakes but we must never be un true to ourselves and whatever path you take I wish you love / light and contentment with yourself X