Becoming a Recluse

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  • "under a bridge with dick and harry" Was that in the Doberman in Phil Silvers Show, or Benny in Top Cat?


    Don't search the internet for it anyway. You have been warned. I wasn't.


    Starts of at Aardvark and ends up with everyone playing a Xylophone

  • My 2p is that becoming a recluse is not a decision that should be taken lightly, because once you fall down that hole it can be impossible to get back again. The fitting quote is that 'when you gaze long into the abyss, The abyss gazes also into you'. It can be difficult to go back to who you were and regain a taste for people.

    its not about changing who I am,that one day I decided to be reclusive.It was a steady progression that as my awareness and comfort with myself grew,I couldnt be bothered with shallow crap and mindless time wasting situations.To go back to how I was 30 years ago when I was still trying too hard to "fit in"would be a diservice to myself.How can you switch off awareness?Why would I want to?Looking back I cannot beleive I wasted so much precious time trying to please others and ignoring myself.I would rather have the free given joy of my hound when he sees me than anything "society"could bestow.I do admit though in the past when I escaped the boxing day family ritual social and returned muddy and a mess,they all considered me weird and rude.:) Its not an abyss its an enchanted forest.

  • its not about changing who I am,that one day I decided to be reclusive.It was a steady progression that as my awareness and comfort with myself grew,I couldnt be bothered with shallow crap and mindless time wasting situations.To go back to how I was 30 years ago when I was still trying too hard to "fit in"would be a diservice to myself.How can you switch off awareness?Why would I want to?Looking back I cannot beleive I wasted so much precious time trying to please others and ignoring myself.I would rather have the free given joy of my hound when he sees me than anything "society"could bestow.I do admit though in the past when I escaped the boxing day family ritual social and returned muddy and a mess,they all considered me weird and rude.:) Its not an abyss its an enchanted forest.


    Yet here you are :rolleyes:

  • Its cold as ice and dark out there and warm in here and i find liasing with you lot okay as i have the off switch and you Roamer cannot reach out and deck me.I can pause the interaction at any time.Being reclusive does not mean my brain has no social function.Anyhow if I had known you would chirp up R ,maybe Id have stayed in quiet.[contort]

    Yet here you are :rolleyes:

  • Being reclusive doesn't mean you don't connect. An assignation is not on the cards but you can still nod to fellow recluses with peace and harmony.:hippylove


    Chill out man :flirt:


    This is mine & crickets way of connecting!


    See [panic] oh look she replied. Well bugger me :rolleyes:





    Get back essex :whip: its just a phrase

  • Its cold as ice and dark out there and warm in here and i find liasing with you lot okay as i have the off switch and you Roamer cannot reach out and deck me.I can pause the interaction at any time.Being reclusive does not mean my brain has no social function.Anyhow if I had known you would chirp up R ,maybe Id have stayed in quiet.[contort]



    You bitter & twisted little ... :curse:


    Well I'm not kissing arse :snub: I refuse.

  • Maybe you should borrow Hagrids dictionary Roomey....pulling an obligatory face does not mean connecting..maybe just briefly glancing in a distored way.... compassionatley at the afflicted.You keep on insinuating with Essex and youl be barefoot,pregnant and glueing up page 3 bosoms in that van behind ASDA.

  • Its cold as ice and dark out there and warm in here and i find liasing with you lot okay as i have the off switch and you Roamer cannot reach out and deck me.I can pause the interaction at any time.Being reclusive does not mean my brain has no social function.Anyhow if I had known you would chirp up R ,maybe Id have stayed in quiet.[contort]


    Well, Cricket, you can switch off and go to sleep whenever you like, but some people will be reading your posts and appreciating your intellect. So, feel a little warmth from the world wide web. Sweet dreams.

  • Maybe you should borrow Hagrids dictionary Roomey....pulling an obligatory face does not mean connecting..maybe just briefly glancing in a distored way.... compassionatley at the afflicted.You keep on insinuating with Essex and youl be barefoot,pregnant and glueing up page 3 bosoms in that van behind ASDA.


    :eek:

  • I don't get much time to myself these days and it's very restorative to me.
    Been close to things going very wrong in my life over the last year, and I can feel that if it all goes bang there's a distinct chance I'd just take myself off to hide somewhere - probably smoking too much and living in a van - and that this probably would be the top of a slide into depression. However being on my own when settled in my mind is a joy :)

  • Is it anything that we can help you with ?


    please please please do not be afraid to talk about it with us,for we all will do what we can to help stop you feeling bad.


    Love and light coming you way xx

  • I don't get much time to myself these days and it's very restorative to me.
    Been close to things going very wrong in my life over the last year, and I can feel that if it all goes bang there's a distinct chance I'd just take myself off to hide somewhere - probably smoking too much and living in a van - and that this probably would be the top of a slide into depression. However being on my own when settled in my mind is a joy :)


    I think living in a van and smoking too much saved me from depression Alf :hippy:

  • Ha! I think a bit of that would be good for me, and I'm reasonably good in normal circumstances at balancing the isolation/socialising stuff, but the depression would surely be lurking there, as the only way I'd find myself in that situation would be my relationship going kablooiieee and being kicked out.
    Thanks for offer of support ic, but it's not really something outside factors can influence, I'm working my way through my bits of what's difficult and trying to keep open and committed to healing what's gone awry. Temptation to fuck it all off and become a van hermit is strong when things are hard, but I know that's my self-destruct system kicking in.

  • Ha! I think a bit of that would be good for me, and I'm reasonably good in normal circumstances at balancing the isolation/socialising stuff, but the depression would surely be lurking there, as the only way I'd find myself in that situation would be my relationship going kablooiieee and being kicked out.
    Thanks for offer of support ic, but it's not really something outside factors can influence, I'm working my way through my bits of what's difficult and trying to keep open and committed to healing what's gone awry. Temptation to fuck it all off and become a van hermit is strong when things are hard, but I know that's my self-destruct system kicking in.


    All the better things in my life and I believe others can say the same come from shit happening. Even though it is hard to imagine it when we are going through hell,one day you will look back and laugh at that situation and thank it for making the person who you have become.
    Always hold that in your mind,that even though it may not be visible for you at times,there is always something positive awaiting you.
    Stay strong my friend xx

  • the more I learn about human beings, and I am learning every day, the more I prefer to be alone -preferably with a good dog.

  • I for one do not view all shit happening that way.Retrospectively I frequently feel stupid for wasting so much time on no hope or very hard situations when I should have just gone.I wish I had realised then when I was young how short life really is as I have wasted very much time on people who were nothing more than bullys.users or emotional vampires.You know...come across a wounded sweet talker who you decide to help ,then 3 years later realise full well ...finally why they were sitting all fed up in the rain with their gear when you first met them?:S

    All the better things in my life and I believe others can say the same come from shit happening. Even though it is hard to imagine it when we are going through hell,one day you will look back and laugh at that situation and thank it for making the person who you have become.
    Always hold that in your mind,that even though it may not be visible for you at times,there is always something positive awaiting you.
    Stay strong my friend xx

  • i know exactly how that is cricket. I have wasted many years on inconsiderate idiots. I care about people who i bother with the only problem is that i bothered with people who were selfish and inconsiderate, id want to help people who were down or needed help but when i need help where are they? They are busy or uninterested. So i realized its time to make a change, and start to detach from people who dont have time or dont bother or show much interest or dont have much in common with. Energy and time is precious, if we direct it towards nicer people or doing more fulfilling things im hoping that can create a more meaningful life.


    Yes important lessons can be learnt from hard times, but the hurt and turmoil of hard times seems to outweigh the lessons often. But i guess its a useful psychological attitude to have, just like maybe everything happens for a reason, probably isnt necessarily true, but helps.


    I wish you well cricket, sounds like you really deserve good things, not everyone are idiots, just most! :-)

  • You are not on "self destruct"by doing this.You are accepting a truth and a need in yourself and unfurling your wings.Freedom.Fly high. Loads of good ones on ukhippy will be on screen at a click should you need support along the way.:thumbup::sunsmile:

    Fuck I think it just happened, van it is then.
    Just got to go drop an event shelter off to make some bloody room.
    2 sleeping bags, counter pane, flask of tea and a hot water bottle.

  • I am alone far too much. I guess that is how I am wired, like a misanthrope. Now I work from home so really am quite reclusive. I wish things were not like that but they are. When I am around people for too long I become tired and yearn to be alone again. When I am alone too long I want the company of others. There is probably something not right in my head I guess.