Before we met, he dropped a massive bombshell which we talked through and with a few sleepless nights on my part and lots of reading I decided I liked him enough to meet him. I have gotten to like him alot. I am very much drawn to him. He is kind, caring, really easy going and probably the most genuinely nice guy I have met in a very very long time.
When he hugs me he has this radiating warmth that I just cant seem to get enough of. I am drawn that much to him its woken up feelings I really thought had diminished as I grew older.
Because of this bombshell he is letting me take the lead and we are moving at my pace and I was confident in the knowledge I had gained that I could move forward and happily.
I chose a handful of people to tell, those closest to me, my daughter, my good friend and my very good neighbours, who are like family and each and everyone of them are ok with it, which made things easier for me.
On Sunday we went to mothers for dinner and he was yapping away and he let it slip. I had chosen not to tell my mother because I knew her prehistoric reaction. We thought we had gotten away with it as there was no reaction but yesterday she asked me if that is what she heard him say and then she went on one in her usual adamant she knows it all rant saying the most horrible and archaic things.
I nearly managed to get away with it but took a brave pill, swallowed hard and told her because it makes my life easier.
Now I cant get her rant out my head. I hear it on replay and its made me very sad.. perhaps even sad to the point that the little bit of happiness I felt has dissipated and I am not sure its going to come back and what was becoming not much of an issue is now again, an issue in my head and heart ..
I was even prepared to say that one day you wont be here any more mum and my daughter will be off doing what she does and I will be on my own totally and I like him that much that I am prepared to walk away from you
She wasnt even prepared to look into it herself ..
So feeling very very flat and sad when I should be all happy and loved up.. has her words damaged what could have been good ?