What Makes A Good, Healthy Relationship?

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  • Relationships, they are fantastic to be in but can also be very tricky. I believe with lots of communication, chemistry and little surprises now and again, a relationship can last for a very long time.


    But what do you guys think make a long lasting relationship?

  • Relationships, they are fantastic to be in but can also be very tricky. I believe with lots of communication, chemistry and little surprises now and again, a relationship can last for a very long time


    But what do you guys think make a long lasting relationship?


    Mutual interests, laughter, cuddles and just being yourself and not changing who you are. Also think opposites attract, two like me would be disastrous.
    I do have a lovely man who is caring, loving and kind. Reckon I hit the jackpot after two marriages both I married for the wrong reasons (more fool me)



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  • Well ...


    He WOULD have to watch on telly what I choose.
    He WOULD have to eat what I chose to cook for dinner.
    He WOULD have to walk the dog with me :) where I choose obviously :rolleyes:


    Form an orderly queue :insane:

  • After one disastrous thirty-year relationship and a very happy ongoing one of thirteen years may I suggest a few of the things that seem to be working this time round?


    Don't get together with that most amazing person and try to remodel them.
    Listen/talk/listen (probably in those proportions?)
    Laugh ... a lot.
    Remember you are not joined at the hip and neither of you owns the other. Allow each other space.
    Pursue things that interest you and let your partner do the same - be interesting and interested.
    Recognise when your partner is falling and be there to cushion the landing.
    Hug lots.
    Be kind.
    Don't "expect" things.
    Learn how to support your partner, even if you wouldn't tackle an issue in the same way, because that is when it usually counts the most.
    Don't try to cut them off from their friends.
    Find the phrases that are not very productive including, for example, "But you said ..." and "I told you ..." and try to leave them out of conversations.
    Find ways to build them up and the converse of this, try to avoid undermining their confidence.
    Don't poke holes in their boundaries. If things change they will open up and offer themselves to you.
    Don't be afraid of silence.
    Be prepared to exercise patience.
    Hug more.
    Laugh more.
    Listen more.
    Give sexual pleasure.


    I'm sure other people have lots more ideas to offer, and I'm sure I could think of other things, but what works in my relationship with FWF is that we both seem to have come to these realisations. I have learned a lot about myself through being with him.


  • Me too with my man I'm definitely more forgiving with people now thanks to him



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  • no such thing as a "healthy" relationship, its always going to be one sided one way or another, after 12 years, 5 years and now 17 years, i'd say don't bother, stay single, be yourself, and if anyone else dosent like it, sod em.
    if I had my time again I wouldn't bother, i'd be celibate and a hermit.

  • After two marriages I was ready to give up, then along came this man that I finally felt a strange attraction to, went for it and that was that. Still together even though we live a long way from each other, if it's right you find a way. It depends what you want from a realionship.


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  • After two marriages I was ready to give up, then along came this man that I finally felt a strange attraction to, went for it and that was that. Still together even though we live a long way from each other, if it's right you find a way. It depends what you want from a realionship.


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    So what do you think is different with this guy?

  • trying to maintain a long distance relationship is hard work, believe me I've tried, back in the mid 80s I was going out with a nurse from Sierra Leone who lived in Coventry and I lived in Plymouth, I spent a fortune in phone bills!! lasted about 12 months then we went our own ways.

  • Cannot say for sure but think it because he is kind, gentle, thoughtful and shy which is very endearing. I'm still bruised and battered from past experiences but feel he wouldn't hurt me. I reckon if you find someone who gives you tummy flips and butterflies it's very rare so you have to go with it, some people never find this.
    .


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  • people these days ARE cynical and out for what they can take not give, we all have to kiss a lot of frogs before we find our prince/princess, if you are even that lucky, a lot just get used, abused and discarded. I talk from experience.
    human beings aren't very nice people, give me animals every time.

  • people these days ARE cynical and out for what they can take not give, we all have to kiss a lot of frogs before we find our prince/princess, if you are even that lucky, a lot just get used, abused and discarded. I talk from experience.
    human beings aren't very nice people, give me animals every time.


    Frog Princesses, I'm quite partial to French girls, some are a bit hairy and they're all quite ripe, but lovely all the same.


    james

  • trying to maintain a long distance relationship is hard work, believe me I've tried, back in the mid 80s I was going out with a nurse from Sierra Leone who lived in Coventry and I lived in Plymouth, I spent a fortune in phone bills!! lasted about 12 months then we went our own ways.


    I'm sure it can be hard work. FWF and I live about 700 miles from each other. He lives in the Alps and I live in the Fens ... most of the time. We see each other most months for a few days or more, several weeks during the summer. Occasionally, though, we are apart for 6-8 weeks. That always feels too long. WhatsApp is our friend and we exchange messages a few times pretty much every day. I wouldn't have kept this up for the past 13+ years if it wasn't worth the effort. At the risk of sounding very corny, he makes being in a loving relationship easy.


    Maybe it is easier for us because the technology allows us better communication these days.


    Sorry you have had so many bad experiences, hagrid. I wish you the best. Please don't write the rest of us off ;)

  • people these days ARE cynical and out for what they can take not give, we all have to kiss a lot of frogs before we find our prince/princess, if you are even that lucky, a lot just get used, abused and discarded. I talk from experience.
    human beings aren't very nice people, give me animals every time.


    You must be unlucky with your human aquaintances, I watch animals being pretty unsavoury with each other all the time. Life ain't kind , but it can be a lot of fun . But hey ho ! :insane::hippy: