Who do you turn to....

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  • When you feel like your spiralling into a massive depression your scared of not being able to get out of and you can't turn to your family or the medical profession as they are part of the problem.

  • I dont know how bad your depression is, i guess i must have suffered light depression (i say light compared to what i hear some people go through, or rather i deal with stuff somehow) possible breakdowns who knows i seem to be on an even ish keel nowadays apart from sometimes falling out with people close to me or getting the blues now and again.


    Never been to a docs myself just battled through bad days weekends months etc somehow,


    Personally when i was at a real low i phoned the samaritans that helped it seemed like the woman was doing nothing but all she was doing was listening, also theres a website called CALM, campaign against living meserably, its kinda based for men and belive me your not alone its a big problem amoung men of all ages,


    So dude you if you feel you or your friend is alone your not its more common is depression than you think, its just the stigma of it, people can talk about cancer, but few find it easy to talk about depression, but attitudes are slowly changing.


    I had a mate i used to ring only when i was really bad, he s now going through hell himself but i struggle to help him, ie i rang him when i was in a bad place only in an extreeme emergancy, but the lads a private lad trying to shelve his shit.


    I found this place worked well in fact a bloke just was a bit nasty to me on here telling me to get a plan and sort myself out, well that maybe worked for me but one size doesnt fit all.


    I havnt got an answer but when your really bad someone you dont know on the end of a phone really helps.

  • I'm not affraid to say it's me and not a friend who is feeling this way, I've been feeling this way since well before Christmas. The last nearly 4 years I've had alot of dealings with the medical profession and their way is pop another pill, they don't seem to listen it's just pop another pill and if that doesn't work here's another pill. My family give it the big I am that they care and stuff but they don't, I've spoken to them about one certain situation that gets me down that situation hasn't changed and I know if I spoke to them about being depressed their answer would be "buck up" or "I'm tired of it as well" and making me feel worse their actually bullies when it boils down to it. I haven't slept proper in months, used to go to bed at say 9-10pm not wake up till 6am now I'm lucky if I sleep 3 hours continuous, half the time I don't feel as though I have energy or interest in anything, I don't feel suicidal but often feel like going to sleep and not bothered about waking or just walking out the door and not stopping. I started writing a diary two years ago and it helped but the last 3-4 months that doesn't help.

  • Sorry to hear your struggling, it can't be easy if you don't trust your family to help. You know, they have their minds change also from time to time. Worst that can come from trying to talk to them again about your problems, is they don't have a answer for you. So what if they make you feel bad for asking for help? You feel bluddy rough as it is.
    They would think the worst of you, if they thought you wouldn't trust them with your feelings.
    Our minds are bastards at playing tricks on us all and often we can assume we fully communicated and understood each other's words and views.
    Have you tried writing a letter to get your own issues clear and then let a family member you have faith in the most, read it?


    I know you think your GP is in a habit of handing out pills. He sees so many, otherwise together, even successful and professionally established men and women, who come through the Surgery door. All suffering with depression. Many of those patients respond to a course of anti depression medication. Many of them don't find the pills effective.
    Often only identifying and addressing the route cause of your depression will help in the long term. We are all getting old in the tooth. Dealing with more and more stress.
    In the UK an average of 13 men take their own lives daily.
    So we all need to take depression seriously. It is a cruel illness and is indiscriminate.


    You say you have not had a good nights sleep for sometime?
    Can you blag a sleeping pill off of someone? Even your GP? Broken sleep = fatigue = loss of interest = more to feel depressed about!
    I would suggest you once again visit your GP. Ok those pills didn't work, the ones before that didn't work, you would still be doing the right thing by continuing to try to get professional help. You may just find that the next pills or therapy is the right prescription for you. Like has been said, your not alone and it won't last forever.

  • First off, you're doing great, just letting people know you're struggling is a huge step! So big hugs fella. 😊 hope you're doing okay at present, depression is a difficult thing to get to grips with if you feel alone to boot, but there will definitely be people around you willing to listen. ( including folks on here)


    Dunno what your situation is, but you point to one that is a particular trigger. If its people related, sometimes just stepping away from the situation and taking some time to collect yourself and your thoughts can be a massive help. I'm not saying don't deal with it, but maybe putting pressure on yourself to sort it without being in the right headspace isn't the way forward.


    Take some time to look after your mental wellbeing. Do some things you enjoy, just for the hell of it.


    If you don't want pills, you can request Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, counselling from the doctors, or you can try almonds. A handful of almonds has been proven to be as effective as Prozac.


    If you want to just unload to a neutral party, my inbox is there. Feel free to give me a shout, I can only offer a non judgmental ear, and some advice as I see it, but the offer is there.


    Just keep on going, you will come out the other side. Xx

  • I've spoken to them about one certain situation that gets me down that situation hasn't changed


    If you are comfortable talking to us about the above situation openly on the forum or maybe to one or two trusted members via PM that may help. Sometimes just converting a worry or fear into actual words on the screen can bring more clarity and through up solutions. etc


    Paul

  • Have you considered counselling ? I tried this a couple of years ago following a referral by my GP and found it really helpful and it helped me cope and manage my anxiety. I wouldn't say i was depressed but felt really down and anxious 24/7.
    I wish you well and hope you find a solution soon.

  • Greetings from someone in the same pond. Although depression makes us feel we are alone.


    In my opinion, depression is the minds way of telling us we need to change what we're doing. So perhaps taking small steps to make changes may help.


    I'm also a fan of counselling. Although if you want to talk, I would not in anyway recommend Cognitive Behavioural Therapy [CBT], Cognative Analytical Therapy [CAT] or Psychodynamic counselling. They are designed to 'change the way we think'. I'd stick to Person Centred Counselling which is as the name suggests centered around you, and letting you talk to someone. Having a person LISTEN to you as opposed to HEARING you, does make a huge difference. I've had CBT, CAT and PC counselling with an existentialist counsellor for two years. Obviously this costs money, although there are some charities out there that offer it for free [hard to come by]. I wish I could go and see her now, as I'm depressed myself and am struggling to make changes as I'm scared of the repercussions. However I'm more scared of my own brain.


    As said, just talking about it is a step in the right direction. Living in the prison alone is a dangerous thing. It doesn't help when the people around you simply don't care/understand. I've been suicidal and my mother told me to 'get over it'. Try to spend time in your mind [when safe to do so] and figure out what you are trying to tell yourself.


    I as with everyone here am available to listen


    x

  • Words and offers of someone to talk to is much appreciated, yesterday was a bad day, no specific reason just felt really down which seems to occur more times than the good days. Last night I'd woken at around 1am and didn't really get back to sleep till around 4am, usually I wake up a couple of times a night but not usually for as long as I was awake last night. I don't think i I'll be too bad this weekend as I'm working which seems to help but even the sleepless nights continue even when I'm working. I will take a couple of people up on their offer to talk although I feel like I'm putting people out or putting on people, I mean we all have problems don't we, but again thank you for your thoughts and words.

  • Have you had a break recently? How do you feel when you're away? If you have a source of stress you need to get away from it, perhaps you need a permanent change of scenery.

  • Last couple of days have felt very humbling, I think that's what I mean. Anyway I've had a few pms sent and will reply to them after today, although I still haven't slept straight through last night was the best sleep I've had for months only waking up once for about 5-19 minutes. I think it's due to what people have said on the forums and pms but also knowing people have taken time to respond and I'm not alone. Much appreciated.

  • Last couple of days have felt very humbling, I think that's what I mean. Anyway I've had a few pms sent and will reply to them after today, although I still haven't slept straight through last night was the best sleep I've had for months only waking up once for about 5-19 minutes. I think it's due to what people have said on the forums and pms but also knowing people have taken time to respond and I'm not alone. Much appreciated.


    That's great :) X. Hopefully the rest will make you feel better too.


    I get these feelings regularly but, for me, it's due to being a woman!

  • Clayman, i know its a bit personal like, but are you like me, a Bipolar sufferer? if u want u can PM me the answer.....:waves:


    Never been diagnosed with it but then again haven't spoken to the doctor about being down as usually if you say something it's "pop another pill" or they don't seem to listen.

  • Have you had a break recently? How do you feel when you're away? If you have a source of stress you need to get away from it, perhaps you need a permanent change of scenery.


    Haven't had a break for nearly two years, that was a week away on my own, only people I spoke to that week were people passing, small talk really and was the best week I'd had for an age. Best time I've had recently was Boxing Day night were I'd worked dhring the day and it poured down, flooded the roads near home so stayed at work and slept in the van, weird but best night I'd had since probably that week away. Once the weather picks up I'm going to head off for a night or two at least every month maybe more.

  • Haven't had a break for nearly two years, that was a week away on my own, only people I spoke to that week were people passing, small talk really and was the best week I'd had for an age. Best time I've had recently was Boxing Day night were I'd worked dhring the day and it poured down, flooded the roads near home so stayed at work and slept in the van, weird but best night I'd had since probably that week away. Once the weather picks up I'm going to head off for a night or two at least every month maybe more.


    Clayman, when you have time come to Keswick in your van, it is a beautiful place, it is not too far from Wigan about 100 miles, I will show you around Keswick and the beautiful hills and give you some Reiki treatments, it will do you the world of good :waves::)

  • Clayman, when you have time come to Keswick in your van, it is a beautiful place, it is not too far from Wigan about 100 miles, I will show you around Keswick and the beautiful hills and give you some Reiki treatments, it will do you the world of good :waves::)


    A very kind offer and much appreciated, my stepdad comes from the lakes and although some of his family mostly cousins of his welcomed me with open arms his close family never did, hence I never spent much time up there.

  • Talking to people on here as helped, also the weather not great as been better the last couple of days not great but better. It's not so much the weather it's that I've not been able to do anything and most of the jobs I need to do are outside.

  • I am so glad that peeps on here are so willing to offer advice, help or just general empathy. Having no experience of depression I did not know how to respond. All I can say is that I am so pleased for you that you are obviously going to have a network here! All the best ma man!

  • I am so glad that peeps on here are so willing to offer advice, help or just general empathy. Having no experience of depression I did not know how to respond. All I can say is that I am so pleased for you that you are obviously going to have a network here! All the best ma man!


    Bit of a long response time to your post, sorry. Thank you. Update, I've spoken to a few people on here which must have worked as I've been having more good days than bad days since I posted this thread. I've been sleeping better, still not had a full nights sleep but come pretty close a couple of times, actually would have done but next door neighbours baby woke me one morning around 4am but I usually get up around 6am anyway. The weather's been better so that's helped, over 2 months of constant rain didn't help. I did a bit of seed sowing and although some will not survive because of doing them too early, the green shoots appearing have helped. Also been carrying on with my diary but added an allotment diary were I've been writing the weather, temps and what I've been planting, sowing etc so that's been keeping my mind occupied plus been planting everything by the moon cycle so that's also been keeping my mind elsewhere, anyway just thought people would like to know what's been going on and that things are better, not great but better and it's mostly down to everyone who replied to this thread, thank you.