Is it really different when it's your own??

  • I'm going to sound like an unsuitable parent here, but more and more lately I'm realising that other people's children are incredibly irritating, and I don't particularly like being around them. There was a squad of them in at work yesterday and their poor parents were just harassed constantly with 'can I have this, and this, and this and APPLE TREES!!! and mum, mum, mum, mum, mum.....', and all I could think was 'how can anyone stand that?!'!


    I don't like babysitting (unless for little ones who haven't yet developed their own little egos!), and I avoid the shops like the plague at school lunch time.


    But at the same time I'm broody very often and would love to have a family of my own. It goes against all logic really - it would be like saying I don't like dogs, but I'm really looking forward to getting a puppy! :S


    My mum's always said that it's different when it's your own children. Am I being idealistic in hoping it's true?!

  • I think it's true. I don't *dislike* children but i'm not the most natural at talking to/playing with little kids, is different with Rosie though. A couple of my friends are really awkward around other people's children and/or find them irritating, yet have children of their own. It's definitely different with your own child. That's not to say you don't still find them irritating sometimes, but it's a different feeling with your own child than with someone elses, a roll-your-eyes-but-in-an-affectionate-way kinda feeling :P

    I've been tripping from sipping the dripping dirty water tap,
    i've been thinking i'm drinking too many drinks all by myself.
    I've been poking a voodoo doll that you do not know I made, for you, of you.

  • they're like marmite ;) i happen to love marmite and children (not together mind, makes butties lumpy and whingy) but even my own kids irritate the shit out of me at times, let alone other people's off spring. ;) so its all to do with me and my head...not the kids...if patience and unconditional empathy and love are in short supply then even little angels grate massively on the mood.

  • Ah, that's ok then :). I'm not a natural at all when it comes to talking to kids, for some reason they make me really self conscious (I think it's that expressionless staring thing they do :S). I still want my own though! :p

  • Yes it is different when it's your own. Before I had children, I didn't have any experience with them really, felt awkward talking to them even. Dont get me wrong, there are times when other peoples kids (and my own) can annoy me but mostly good lol

  • Never felt awkward round kids
    Its easier to talk to kids than adults at times
    They dont judge
    Especially say 2- 10 year olds they are ace and keep you young
    You can have lots of fun
    Having said that i never wanted kids always said i wanted to have two springer spaniels when i grew up
    Now i have 7 kids and soon to be 8 grandkids lol

  • I also would go as far as to say that I've never really liked children much - found them extremely irritating and annoying (well most of them). I'd not had much to do with them but always felt awkward and unnatural around them. HOWEVER I felt really broody and eventually had a little girl. She is only 9 months old so we've not got to the 'mum mum can I have this and that' stage but I love her more than anything in the world. She has never irritated me and I just love spending my time playing with her and looking after her. I feel totally natural around her. Its hard work but the most rewarding and amazing thing in the world. When they smile and laugh for the first time you fall in love all over again. In my personal experience its totally completely 100% different when its your own child and I'm even beginning to like other's now :)

  • Before I had children I had no experience of them at all, I did want any and I didn't know anyone with them. but children are wonderful and one of the most fulfilling things in life, sometimes they can be irrating but not often they mostly bring happiness, I'm still not a fan of other peoples kids.

  • My sister often tells me it is different when they're your own kids. I love having my niece and nephew but I can't cope more than a night and day.


    I often worry that I would be like that when I have my own children, being moody, too tired to do anything, stressed out because they are in constant need of attention and affection. Don't get me wrong, my niece and nephew bring me so much joy it's unbelievable, but I just feel like I'm too self centred and lazy to give 100% to a child.


    That sounds really wrong, so I told my sister this, and she said she understands, but when you have your own children you understand, and bond differently, and its completely different.


    I get broody but I don't think we'll have kids for a few years yet (unless it's accidental because I don't believe in abortion)

  • I have always really loved kids and prefer most kids to most adults (there are exceptions in both directions) and I've always made faces at them on the bus to make them laugh and things like that. I also really love my Izzy obviously, more than I could possibly describe, but of course she annoys the crap out of me sometimes!!


    I'm a single mum, and her dad only has her a couple of hours a week, AND I home-ed, so sometimes (thankfully not too often) I do feel like I will actually go insane unless I have half an hour with no one talking at me (my daughter talks CONSTANTLY when she's awake, and even talks in her sleep a lot of the time :p ) and that's when having a playhouse and wireless internet come in handy. "Hey, how about I make you a picnic and you can watch Netflix in the playhouse? Won't that be exciting?!! How about you go and do that right now?! Yeah! Woo! Here's some crisps."


    But on the very rare occasion she's away for me for more than about three hours, I miss her dreadfully because I love her, and because she's brilliant. Of course she annoys me sometimes, anyone you are with 24/7 is going to grate on the nerves at times - particularly if that person likes to excitedly tell you things RIGHT IN YOUR FACE while pulling on your jumper with sticky hands - but I can honestly say she brings more joy to my life than I could have imagined. She's great :)


    And I often wonder what the hell I was doing with my time back when I had any to spare!

  • Like the OP, I'm not immediately fond of other people's children. I don't have kids of my own, so I wasn't confident I'd be good with kids when my sister married and had a daughter. I love my niece though and get on great with her. My brother has also married now and he and his wife are in the process of having more kids (they're aiming for six) and I'm good with their kids too. It's not so much when they're 'your own,' it's getting to know them that counts.


    OP: If you don't like other people's kids when they're running riot, that's different from not liking kids. :) Hardly anyone likes shrieking and so forth. Maybe offer to babysit a friend's kid for a weekend or so to see how you feel?