help and advise please

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  • hey guys, basically wondering what i should do in my situation... Im suffering from anxiety which i think i have pretty bad because ive read over a hundred symptoms and id say i have over 80 of them... I also think i have depression as i feel im just in a deep dark hole, nothing motivates me and when i think into the future and what i want to do theres nowhere i want to be or anything i want to do... i have no aspirations or goals and i really dont know what to do anymore, i basicly am tired of life and everything it has to offer. no matter what im doing i just feel unsatisfied and when i think about last year when i didnt feel like this i just feel worse, more sad, more upset and generally more shit. i have no ambitions but all i do know is i dont want to be like this anymore, i feel alone, tired and fed up. I dont want to take medication as my dad is on it and has been for many years now and whenever he tries to come of it he is far worse than he was to start with and i feel at only 19 i dont want to be getting myself into that. im sick of waking up and everyday just been the same old shit, all the joy seems to have gone... I have recently split up with what i believe is my soul mate too as shes gone to go study and moved to the oppersite end of the country and i feel that it is just the icing on the cake. Im slowly loosing the will to carry on and feel like the future will be pointless me been there if there is nothing that makes me happy. all the hobbies and interests i used to have just dont satisfy me anymore and i just dont know what to do. any advice on whether medication would be the right thing for me and peoples opinions will be much appreciated, thankyou for reading... mitchell.

  • Hi :waves:

    I dont think that there is a quick solution but you are in a good possition about recognising your need for change from were your head is at the moment and recognise the need for change .

    I hope you get back feeling better soon :thumbup:

  • I think if you are really worried that you are getting depressed and it's not just because of the break up then I would go see your gp explain to him/her how you feel about meds there are other therapies out there
    Talking therapies for instance it can be good to open up to someone who isn't directly involved in your situation

    Are you at college or uni
    Or do you work Hun
    What interests did you have before this set in
    You like art what about taking an art related class you may make new friends and enjoy it
    Excercise is a great one for lifting the mood

    I've been battling now for 18 years Hun
    Pm me if you ever want to chAt
    Or just need someone to vent at

  • I am at work now so not able to give a full answer but didn't want to read and run. Depression seems to run in my family and I have struggled with it all my life, as yet without resorting to meds (I was prescribed them once but refused to take them :S). They do have their place but they need to be used to help sort out the base root of your feelings or else you will just end up back to square one when you finish (I have seen this happen with family members, a bit like coming off a diet and putting the weight back on cos you haven't changed your lifestyle! :D). Alot of what you wrote rung bells for me and whilst there is no quick fix or easy answer, I think it is possible to dig yourself out of the hole. Feel free to PM me anytime and remember, you are not alone :)

  • Hi. Do not worry that you dont have any aims or dreams to work towards in the future,as it is the now that you want to try to enjoy,and then the future will take care of itself.
    There are without a doubt things that you enjoy doing,so just spend time for the moment doing them,and that will perk you up.
    If you enjoy going to the beach,or walking in woods and racing around on a mountain bike or whatever,now is the time for you to do it. If you have got things that you enjoy doing out of doors,then this is brilliant,as you can get excercise,fresh air and nature at the same time,and all three of them are good for picking you up and making a more on form you.
    I know that you have said that your old interests dont interest you anymore,but the chances are that you are just blocking that enjoyment from happening,so you can either try and find that enjoyment again,or look at what other peoples interests and hobbies are,until you find something that pleases you.
    Sometimes crap food with its additives and preservatives can alter how you feel about things,because of the chemical reaction inside of you,so try making sure that you eat some healthy stuff too.
    There can be moments in life when everything seams very hard and complicated,but often enough that feeling is just being created from us punishing ourselves by letting self pity take over.
    Your life can be one out of ten,or ten out of ten,that is something that you have control over.
    For example-if in your heart, you want to go and walk on the beach then you can create that on a one to ten scale. If you get up straight away and head to the beach then that is creating a ten,if you sit at home saying I cant be arsed,then that is creating a one.
    To be truly happy in life in a continuous way,means going after the number ten often,and when that becomes a habit,then sometimes when it does drop down to a five or less,it doesnt matter so much,as you will of built up lots of spare energy from doing what you want to do all the time.

    This may sound egotistical,but you are the most important person in your life,and when you are on form and your energies areup,you have so much more to give to others. Giving and helping others is also something that can help pick you up in return.

    As for you and your soulmate splitting up,this can be a very horrible experience,and one that most of us have experienced at least once or twice in our lives,and have all suffered for a short while about it,until we have given ourselves a kick up the arse and moved will do the same.

    I can not help you on the prescribed medication question,as I have no experience of this,but I would say that whilst you are feeling low and fragile,keep clear of dope,as this could make you feel worse,whether it be a smoke a tab or a pill.

    The fact that you have wrote this message,doesnt only state that you recognise that you have a problem,but it also states that you have started picking yourself backup,by trying to achieve a higher number on the one to ten scale,and once you start trying to achieve,more and more will fall into place.
    As you have started fixing how ou feel,realy shows that there is a positive person inside of you,and with a little work and time,this person will shine through.

    When I am feeling a little bit off form,I try surrounding myself with my best things. My favourite smells with incense,my favourite colours with my clothes,my favourite sounds with happy music,my favourite tastes with swiss chocolate etc etc. Though dont go over the tom with the chocolate either,or you will end up fat and toothless instead of depressed.

    I have got to head out for the morning now,but will come back onto the site later,and if you want to chat any more,then please do do. You can email me on if you would prefer to talk about anything in private.

    I wish you a great weekend and am sending you loads of fly energy hidden in the form of rain,so if you are realy in need of bags of positive energy,then go and stand in the rain for a minute,and think of my energy being in it,and you will feel a difference to when you were dry :whistle:

    Love and light to you


  • Nobody knows you better than yourself, you know what you are feeling and how you are spending your time, if you have any ambitions or desires and if you are taking any steps towards them. You have taken the first step by saying you are not happy with the way you are feeling at the moment and you wish to do something about. I would advise against continually searching for symptons as this takes alot of time and the answer to the majority of the problems is very similar.
    Then I would say take small steps take your time you've had a bad time now have some different times.
    Could go on and on but that would make me a bossy bag all I would say is do a few different things, go to some different places, different peeps and if you like it do it again a bit more a little different. Because as you do things the body produces different chemicals and you have to get the hang of how they feel. And through doing different stuff you might enjoy some of it and might get some clues about other things to do. Keep in touch :)

  • Go to your GP

    as for some 'talking therapy' its called IAPT

    (improving access to psychological therapy) and this might help if you are in a plce to put stop the viscious cycle yo are in with your anxiety

    its hard and not a simple answer but helpful if you wann give it a go - better than just taking meds as usually helps with the underlyng problem

  • hi mitchell,

    it would seem a travesty to me if you tried to wash away all these feelings with meds. difficult to appreciate i know when you are feeling overwhelmed by them but all this sad, painful and angry feelings associated with the loss of your soulmate are deeply precious. they are just as important a part of your love and humanity as all the good feelings you shared. Im sure it feels like a huge loss and now everything else seems suddenly meaningless and unfulfilling. But real love is never lost, it has a life of its own that goes on wherever each of you are. In the same way she will always have that love for you somewhere in her heart even if your lives somehow move on.
    Love is the lifeblood of our spirit Mitch so try to remember thats there are lots of other people in the world with big open hearts waiting to offer you the love you need .(and waiting to receive your love too) Try to spend time around good people who can give you authentic hugs and a listening ear. Go for walks in nature with good company so you can borrow a little from their energy . It wont take away the pain but it may make it more endurable until gradually you find yourself waking up and smiling again

    love and warm hugs

  • You don't say what your financial/living/work etc is, but if you don't have ties or contracts you can't get out of how about going on the Diggers and Dreamers site and looking at "Places needing People" and see if you can make a complete change in your life, or look at doing volunteer work in a community or abroad - I and many others have found that giving your time to help other people who may be in a worse situation than yourself, or even just fun things like helping at summer camps (later in the year, I know, but you do get paid) can really help with getting you out of yourself and building your self-esteem.
    A lot of depression comes from that stuck-in-a-rut feeling so escaping it to challenge yourself with a totally new environment can work wonders. It's scary but it's worth it!
    You are still very young and have so much to experience and enjoy.
    Good luck from someone who has been there and has a 20 year old son who has also been there!

  • hey guys, thankyou very much for all your replies been away from a computer the past couple of days so havent been able to pop on. Started taking some herbal medicine yesterday so going to see how that goes and hopefully it may do me some good. Been spending time with good friends and talked to some of them about how im feeling and it did help a little tbh... Hendrixfan, i currently am not doing anything as i recently lost my job and have actually been thinking of getting away for a bit, been speaking to a friend whos out in spain at the mo and am hoping to go spend some time with her once i get a little bit of moola behind me which i think is good as this gives me something to work towards. As for going out, its not really been the best weather for it but i do want to maybe take a nice stroll round hebden bridge when teres a nice day which is not too far from me and there is some lovely walks to be had . once again thankyou everyone for your replies and hopefully il be able to stop feeling like this with time. Much love... Mitchell

  • Hey Mitchell,

    From my experience with anxiety and depression the first step is realising things aren't going quite right and then the biggest bit is believing that you can change how your life goes. It doesn't feel like you have much control and the physical symptoms of anxiety can be scarey but it's all stuff you can fix : )

    My dad takes st John's wort for depression and they work for him! I would try to stay away from the meds,they help symptoms short term but they dont fix problems.

    Most importantly spend time with friends, be active - exercise releases endorphins, can help aches caused by anxiety and I have found helps get my breathing back to normal if I have a tight chest. Say yes to things you wouldn't normally do, I spent 2 years moping about at home refusing to do anything and realised when I started saying yes to doing more things how much time I had wasted and not allowed good things to happen to me!

    Keep looking after yourself :)