Cutting ...

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  • Wow it kind of shock and disturbs yet makes slashing acceptable, is this a good thing? I have a mate who suffers with very bad depression he s suffered with it all his life poor bugger, he slashes like anything if i ever see him i always make time for him but dont see him that oft, this picture brings it all out but it does shock, does it glamourise i dont know i wont judge.

  • I don't think it glamourises... it is what it is...


    Its not clear at first glance - my first reaction was that the poor love had suffered horrendous burning and had had skin grafts and then had cut over the top.. and then i looked closer and realised that what i thought was burn scarring was actually cut scarring. The emotional impact of that was startling and upsetting yes.. but then knowing that the young woman doesn't feel concious or concerned helps to offset the initial emotional impact. Hard to say if she is proud of her scars... If she was coming over as proud and displaying them then I'd agree with the glamourisation statement... but to my mind the picture just says " I am..." Her body language doesn't seem to be overtly forward or like she is trying to make a statement at all - infact she does look a little shy and I like that her thumb is curled into her hand - makes her look incredibly vulnerable. Great picture :)

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  • Yeah great thought provoking picture, it is what it is, but deep in myself i find a morbid curiosoty like a car crash or something there s something that draws you to the scar then to the face, i guess cutting yourself may help the person deal with there deep inside hurt pain past etc, and draws it to the surface for all to see but really i guess its probo a private thing but cutting makes it a public thing, is it attention seeking, probably i guess you have to be really in a bad way or had a terrible past to deal with i cant comprehend it as i coudn t do it whatever happened to me as in a way it would be like showing the whole world my problems, but i kind of get why its done.

  • is it attention seeking, probably i guess you have to be really in a bad way or had a terrible past to deal with i cant comprehend it as i coudn t do it whatever happened to me as in a way it would be like showing the whole world my problems, but i kind of get why its done.


    Not sure you do! It's really not an attention seeking thing. Well, not in my experience. The people I know who have done it have gone to very great lengths to hide their scars. There is such a stigma attached to it. She's a very brave girl - great photo Paul :).

  • Powerful shot good composition/contrast of light and dark......v emotive.. thank you

    [SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]


    "A name is written on a polished rock. A broken heart that the world forgot." Help Stamp Out Child Abuse

  • It's interesting the way people are seeing the image ... lots of different reactions.


    Hard to say if she is proud of her scars... If she was coming over as proud and displaying them then I'd agree with the glamourisation statement... but to my mind the picture just says " I am..." Her body language doesn't seem to be overtly forward or like she is trying to make a statement at all - infact she does look a little shy and I like that her thumb is curled into her hand - makes her look incredibly vulnerable. Great picture :)

    I actually know her very well and it's not a pride thing at all - she's really quite shy (but not uncomfortably) and certainly not a proud person - the scars don't define her.


    I had planned on doing a series of self-harm images before and forgot about the idea, but this photo wasn't intended as part of it - it was only when I was looking over some past test shots that I discovered it and thought "ooh".

    i guess cutting yourself may help the person deal with there deep inside hurt pain past etc, and draws it to the surface for all to see but really i guess its probo a private thing but cutting makes it a public thing, is it attention seeking, probably i guess you have to be really in a bad way or had a terrible past to deal with i cant comprehend it as i coudn t do it whatever happened to me as in a way it would be like showing the whole world my problems, but i kind of get why its done.

    It was really more of an "I want to feel something" thing - and although there were issues about being ignored this was more about turning anger inwards rather than seeking attention. The visible results (as far as I know) weren't part of the equation at the time either. I do know her story, but it's not for me to share it.

    There is such a stigma attached to it. She's a very brave girl - great photo Paul :).

    She's aware I rekindled the photo and when I asked about using it her response was "Of course, I really don't mind my scars" ... so I've never seen it as her making a statement - she's too "matter of fact" for that.


    Thanks for the compliments - they're appreciated. :)

  • It is an interesting picture, I think the way she stands is 'powerful' and not seeing her face and it being black and white makes it 'intruiging' to me.


    They are scars not open wounds though, for me the most that means is a visual representation from someone who has turned some of their emotional scars into physical ones. I don't find them as significant as others seem to. Who knows why.


    (though I would not argue that self harm is a dangerous issue that should be taken seriousely)

  • I found out my daughter was cutting, at the age of 17. It had been going on for over a year. My daughter hid it well and at the time I thought she was a well balanced, happy girl. I just couldn't get my head round the whole cutting thing. I reacted badly to the news and verbalized, how angry I was at her for destroying something so beautiful, that me and her mother had spent our life protecting. I had heard of cutting before and just thought of it as attention seeking. She did receive good counseling & stopped cutting. Years after a good mate of mine had some cutts on his arm. I asked about them and he told me he had been cutting. He was 45 years old. ( roughest,toughest door bouncer type guy) I knew he had suffered depression and put it down to his hard life and the loss of his close family members. The day I found out, I offered to take him out the house food shopping. He was prepared to come with me, but on leaving his house, I asked him if he was going to put a jacket on to cover up the blood and scars. He refused. To my horror he wanted the world to see his cuts. I did get him to wash and bandage up before going shopping. All cutters are hurting on the inside and this seams to be a release for that pain. The above photo is testament to the longterm damage of a shortterm crisis.

  • i have never told anyone this and am still not sure but here goes
    after i left home and ended up in an abusive relationship (i was 16 he was 32)i started cutting it only lasted 6 mnrths and i have only a few scars to show nothing to major
    i got help and it worked for me but i started using other things to ease my pain which in my opinion were worse but thats another story
    it wasent the relationship that set it off it was the death of my mother and brother when i was ten and the guilt i had at running away and leaving my dad i know i broke his heart as i didnt see him for a year
    we got our relationship back and were closer than ever
    for me the brief meeting with self harm was a cry for help
    i had emotions and feelings going on and i couldnt understand them
    it was my partners mate malc a real rough tough biker who realized there was something wrong and took me too one side
    he got me a docs appointment and the rest just followed
    i dont think its ever attention seeking it goes much deeper than that


    i have never told anyone from my now life and never told my dad before he passed


    steve it must of been really toughfor you finding out about your daughter ....im glad she got good counselling

  • Even though it isn't the case here, people often take a very dim view of attention seeking - like it's worse than the problem that caused it ... but sometimes people need that attention, they want to be noticed and in my opinion have every right to be noticed.

  • Even though it isn't the case here, people often take a very dim view of attention seeking - like it's worse than the problem that caused it ... but sometimes people need that attention, they want to be noticed and in my opinion have every right to be noticed.

    I have to admit, I did have a dim view of attention seaking years ago. It wasn't so much the cry for help that I didn't understand, it was the method I thought they were using. eg. cutting. I was brought up in a rough mining community, take it on the chin, get over it and theres always people worse off. Over the years, through personal experience of close friends and family self harming. My views have changed and I try to be more sympathetic to the needs of others, their motives and emotional crutches.

  • I really like the way she's standing.....and the hand on her scarred arm is clenched whereas the right hand isn't. That could just be an 'in the moment' thing but it speaks volumes to me in the photo.


    There are some old threads in the Health forum about cutting, there have always been a lot of experienced people on this forum. Paul's spot on:

    Quote

    people often take a very dim view of attention seeking - like it's worse than the problem that caused it ... but sometimes people need that attention

    Nobody causes themselves that much pain on a regular basis for shallow reasons.

  • Even though it isn't the case here, people often take a very dim view of attention seeking - like it's worse than the problem that caused it ... but sometimes people need that attention, they want to be noticed and in my opinion have every right to be noticed.


    I strongly agree with this. It can be like that with children, "oh, she's just crying for attention"... yeah, she is, so you should probably give her a cuddle.

  • i used to sit with my ex ex boyfriend when he cut :( it was a release...a way he could feel something when he was utterly numb... It was hard to sit with him but it helped him to not feel ashamed i think.

  • A lad we know well sort of an aquintance really (but i reguard him more as a mate nowadays as he works at the local pumps on and off) used to cut himself still does has to bandage his arms and all sorts he s on anti depressants all the time and generally his dosage goes up i try to cheer him up a bit or just talk to him sort of get a feel what mood he s in,


    Anyway the worst time i remember of him was when i was out with mates, i don t know how (pre mobile phone) but he had rung one somehow or got in touch through a friend i can t remember, but we had to go at break neck speed to "catch" him smashing a bottle in his village on a stone bridge then we tried to grab him but to late he was stabbing his arm with the sharded bottle, god i sobered up quick, not good he was ok,


    A close mate of his could nt cope with him he constantly did this on a regular basis ringing up etc then slashing, i think he like s the slashes and at the same time hates them, lifes very hard for him and a lot of people close to him just dont understand poor lad.

  • A very emotive image, really speaks to me. My girlfriend used to, we've talked about it and she goes to counselling but sometimes I find out she's had a another go. I hate it but it’s her way of dealing with certain issues and I cant stop her, believe me there's some serious stuff going on up there. This pic reminds me of her, strong but damaged, she should never have been put through such hard times. Heavy stuff man. Its rarely about attention, there a lot more to it than that, I’ve been tempted but I cant physically injure myself, my mind just twists and whirl’s instead, spitting out reactions through music and introversion, lol.

    Taking Life To Seriously? Just Remember We Are Talking Monkeys On An Organic Spaceship.

  • I slashed my own arms up once ... I was about 20-ish and dealing with a rejection. For me it was anger - I smashed up all my crockery and then used the edge of a plate to slice away at myself - thus turning my anger inwards.


    It really wasn't that painful - in a way it was more like I was getting creative with my rage! I ended up feeling a bit sorry for myself and thus hid my arms for a month while they healed up. I realised how non-constructive it was to make myself suffer, and haven't done anything like it since - thankfully the scars weren't deep enough to last.


    I think the thing is, although this image very much highlights the issue of self-harm, I don't see this as anything necessarily defining ... yes the girl's had issues, but I also know she's a talented, positive, creative and friendly girl who is so much more than her scars. I prefer to see her as someone who is accepting her issues, and while aware of the attention she receives isn't defined by or too concerned about what other people think.