worried & struggling

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  • im so sick & tired of being on benefits, im trying too find a job, not having much luck, lack of money. Lack of confidence holds me back, although i have been phoning around & walking into shops asking if they have any vacancies, i was hoping to get a job in an art & craft shop [the nearest one to me] but didnt get it:(, tried a local farm shop but all the vacancies have been taken:rolleyes:
    i dont mind working its just that i was hoping to find something that i would enjoy as well but it looks like the local Spar for me then:rolleyes: [ i suppose at the moment i should be less fussy], its just that i know what its like to work in an enviroment that has bad vibes & people who think they can bully u & take advantage, i dont like working with other people but may have to put up with that for a while, i thought about working from home on the comp but they r all scams:rolleyes:
    is there anyone who could help/give me some advice, is there anyone in the south east of kent looking for staff? im not far from maidstone, i live in a village, i have a car, im an artist, [i have a diploma in fine art], ive done some volunteer work in charity shop & with age concern, i love animals, i know how to look after & ride horses, my child is at school full time, im looking for part time work, about 16 hours a week, is there anyone out there?:panic:

  • I was going to make a thread similar to this recently...but I haven't got around to it yet.


    I know how you feel and its beyond frustrating. In the last 4 months I have actually managed to get 2 jobs. Both were serious hell. One was in a weatherspoons in the city centre. Not good. Over worked..under payed..expected to work after 1 in the morning until 3 in the morning for free. Constantly rude customers constantly rude work colleges. Knocked my confidence massively and after two weeks I quit. Much to the annoyance of my boyfriend.


    Then last week i got a job for a telephone charity fundraising company. Spent the day feeling soul destroyed and came home hysterical. Panic attacks..constantly crying until the next day when I decided not to go back.
    I hate this. I think Chilly thinks that I do not want a job. But thats not true...I do..I just cant bare to have one that makes me feel like I am going to be sick constantly. That i am constantly on the edge of panic and often in panic mode...and one that means every waking second I am not there i am in floods of tears.


    I have handed out CV after CV after Cv to jobs in smaller pubs, in cafes, in small shops. Nothing.


    I often hear the "but noone likes their job" " noone wants to go to work" you just have to do it. But I cant work in those enviroments, the impact on my mental wellbeing is just to massive. Over the last 6 months i have worked very hard to ensure i feel stable. I feel well mentally for the first time for as long as I can remember. I have practically stopped taking drugs...something that was daily is now every now and again and now pretty much all other drugs i dont really take at all. I feel really on the ball and I just can't let a job ruin all of that and send me over the edge again.


    I am currently waiting for CRB to do some voluntary work in the areas i would like to develop a career in. But then that does not pay the bills right now.


    The whole situation is causing my relationship alot of stress. We have just moved in with each other. The house is lovely. But I feel like I can not win. Either i get a job that makes me die inside and i fall apart. Start acting a mess...and therefore the relationship feels on the verge of collapse because he struggles to understand why i am like that and my anxiety becomes an irritant to him. Or i don't get the job and he feels fustrated because he is trying to support us both, he thinks i just dont want a job...


    I wake up every day right now worrying about this.


    Yesterday I handed a CV out to every single place in town i though i could bare to work. Hopefully someone will call me....

  • both of you keep on keeping on - there have been so many times my back has been against the wall and being brutally honest it was only gritting my teeth and keeping going which got us where we are today...


    jenna, is there room for me and the kids to come and stay some time before christmas?

  • Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes Yes there is. Please do!!!


    We have a 3 bed house. (so chilly can have an office space i can have a studio space) with a decent sized dining room and living room. My studio is massive. I could put down some mattress on the floor and you would have your own room.


    In fact when we moved in I even said to chilly..."yay now i don't live in a shared party house of hell maybe i could convince Janna and the children to come visit because there will be somewhere child friendly for her to bring the kids"


    So yes yes please please do. It would make me very happy :)

  • right book us in for december shenanigans - and you still need to write to the smalls from beatnik ;)


    sorry for hijacking your thread trippy :hug:

  • erm this thread was meant to be about me [sorry if that sounds self centred] but i thought organising meet ups was meant to be in the 'gatherings' forum, sorry if i sound a bit pissed off but u know what it is girls
    peace & love [even though im hormonal]

  • And I made a very long and detailed response to you explaining how my situation is similar and telling you I completely related to your post in the hope that I might make you feel less alone.

  • And I made a very long and detailed response to you explaining how my situation is similar and telling you I completely related to your post in the hope that I might make you feel less alone. Not to self... I wont bother next time.

    Yours was a good post and explained to Trippy that she wasn't alone, please do bother next time, you give good advice. I think all trippy meant was maybe the bit about arranging for Janna to come and visit could of been done through PMs :)

  • trippy mate.. you know me.. from the hip.... anyway


    working 16 hours a week is only going to make you better off to any degree if you are not claiming any benefit.. whether it be IS,JSA,tax credit or housing/council tax benefit.


    Work has lots of other bonuses..self worth, company, new friends and circles, and mental stimulus...


    just saying make sure you know what you are looking for...... if it is just something to do then hold out until you find the right job you are going to really enjoy. you could even do a load of voluntary work and get the same (or better) mental rewards.


    If it is for money then work out how many hours you want to work as your daughter gets older and when you want to increase them...plan a life/work balance for the next few years that suits you.


    I just worry that working somewhere you dont like for an extra nett tenner a week would be mega destructive on all of you.

  • I know exactly how you feel. Job hunting (and working at the wrong place) can be completely soul destroying. You just need to keep faith that things will fall into place one day if you keep perservering :hug:

  • sorry for hijacking your thread trippy :hug:



    erm this thread was meant to be about me [sorry if that sounds self centred] but i thought organising meet ups was meant to be in the 'gatherings' forum, sorry if i sound a bit pissed off but u know what it is girls
    peace & love [even though im hormonal]


    ;)


    i'm here cos i care and have been there and i know its a fucking piss off but you just have to keep going and plugging away - no one has the answers but jenwah and i do have first hand experience of your situation and wills of iron for shoulder to shoulder solidarity...

  • i just want to point out i DO appreciate EVERYONES response on here, no offence to anyone, now i have to go & ball me eyes out

  • hehe probably do you good to have a good sob - its a wonder my eyes havent fallen out with all the crying i have done over the years - i am now officially The Weeping Willow ;)


    one thing i tended to notice over the years was when i hit a wall (like you now) it always seemed to preced something moving forward - might have been an incremental shift but it usually matched up...


    with any luck you're pushing through something right now


    more power to your tearful elbow :hug:

  • hugs hunny. i cant imagine how frustrating it is to have all that knowledge and no job to use it in, could you maybe look at running art classes maybe? sometimes going it alone is the only way. it wouldnt bring in much at first but you never know what it might grow into:)

    Turned on, tuned in, loved up, trippin out, freaky on the outside, shiny in the middle.


  • yes it sure does feel like that, thanks for the hug xx

  • hugs hunny. i cant imagine how frustrating it is to have all that knowledge and no job to use it in, could you maybe look at running art classes maybe? sometimes going it alone is the only way. it wouldnt bring in much at first but you never know what it might grow into:)


    thats a good idea just need to push myself, there maybe competition as someone in my village is already doing it, i'll look into it though, thanks xx

  • hows the weeping going? or are you onto plate smashing? (oooh havent done that in ages - must get some from the charity shop and have a sesh with the kids)


    i was just pondering...instead of looking for work doing what you love - look into the WI or having a regular get together somewhere like a coffee shop or a mates house - just doing what you love without trying to get somewhere specific with it can often open doors and grease the wheels opportunity

  • hows the weeping going? or are you onto plate smashing? (oooh havent done that in ages - must get some from the charity shop and have a sesh with the kids)


    i was just pondering...instead of looking for work doing what you love - look into the WI or having a regular get together somewhere like a coffee shop or a mates house - just doing what you love without trying to get somewhere specific with it can often open doors and grease the wheels opportunity


    yes i c what u mean, i do do that but only occationally [not feeling all that sociable at the moment], have been talking to other mums about it but most of them in similar boat, a couple of them have found work but not what i could do

  • :hug:hun. I've so been there when the kid's were little. Maybe look on local education and 'NHS job's', sometimes they have work as art or play therapists, or teaching assistants. that way you might get the school hols off with little jemima x


    i had thought of that one but looking around there isnt anything just yet but i'll keep looking anyway, something should arise soon

  • Could you not do painting/art etc to bring in some extra.....I've seen a little of your work and it's good. You're very talented. You could set up a web page/facebook page? That way you would have complete flexibility and it would be something you enjoy.