the whole baby wearing thing

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  • ok I'm not quite sure what to say here or quite what I want back but I guess any info/advice would be good im looking into all sorts of parenting and i must admit baby wearing does intreague me although I said I didn't think it was for me i am now not so sure. Aelin is also sounding quite positive about it but i don't know enough to form an opinion or decide if i would want to give it ago. so I guess Im asking for any experiences and advice really just want to try and figure out i its for me. however i do know i wouldn't want my child on me at all times I do have a pram and love the idea of using it does this matter or is there away to incorporate using the pram in with baby wearing?

    it is impossible to be unhappy whilst wearing my baby in a tattoo style mei tai!!!

  • I'm not a parent, I know nothing about the technicalities of children and how you're meant to bring them up, but I think that if you are unsure then try both when the little one comes :) I don't think there is any rights or wrongs of how to hold/transport a baby or child while you're out and about.


    :hug:

  • tried it for a while but seeing as my two lads were whoppers ( one 9lb and one 8lb 12 ozs) i had to stop as my back couldn't take it..nothing wrong with pushchairs hun..it's what's comfortable for you.. your health and welbeing are important too:) Don't feel you have to let them sleep with you or carry them every where. You're not a bad mother if you don't..babies have to fit into family life,so it's all about finding the right routine.. if pushchairs,cots and bottles suit you..do that:)

  • I had a wriggler who needed his own space (must be genetic :whistle:) so hed get distressed at being held too much sometimes.There isnt a 'right' way to parent because youre unique parents with a unique baby,finding what works best for all of you is way more important than trying to fit yourselves into a parenting philosophy that doesnt suit.
    Using a buggy doesnt mean you cant hold baby too when it suits,its just giving yourself more choices :)

  • Wearing babies is ok, but you really do have to skin them properly or they smell and shrink in the wash :)

    "The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do."

  • Wearing babies is ok, but you really do have to skin them properly or they smell and shrink in the wash :)


    oh dear and let the sillyness start wheres SD when you need him......... thanx for all the serious replys so far they are helping so keep 'em coming!!!

    it is impossible to be unhappy whilst wearing my baby in a tattoo style mei tai!!!

  • I had a wriggler who needed his own space (must be genetic :whistle:) so hed get distressed at being held too much sometimes.There isnt a 'right' way to parent because youre unique parents with a unique baby,finding what works best for all of you is way more important than trying to fit yourselves into a parenting philosophy that doesnt suit.
    Using a buggy doesnt mean you cant hold baby too when it suits,its just giving yourself more choices :)


    so true...i tried so hard to do everything the right way when i was a first time mum..
    by the time pugsley came along..it was what suited our lifestyle..


    I love reading some of the alternative parenting posts ...when i gave birth to Pugs 13 years ago, i was treated like a freak because i let him sleep with me and breast fed him for so long..and my god,when we took Jake ( now 22) to festivals.. I thought some members of my family would spontaniously combust with outrage:D

  • It is a really odd term though isnt it,'baby wearing' :insane: The philosophys from attachment parenting,the idea that its more 'natural' for babies to be in physical contact with (usually) mum at all times because the seperation is painful for them.Became popular as a reaction to the regimented 'holding baby will spoil them' parenting weirdness. Touch is important,and holding your baby is usually lovely but it doesnt damage them if it suits better not to all the time..


    I dont think baby wearing mums today have that extreme philosophy though...

  • I must agree with Scarlett, I got some very odd looks but people who knew me also knew to keep it buttoned. My mum was the only person who didnt but in with 'advice' as she was the only one who didn't think of me as stupid - in other peoples eyes I did nothing but very strange things such as co sleeping, going to bike rallys with a 4 month old, her first one day festie she was 5 weeks old.

    Do whatever YOU feel is right for you and right for baby, the end of the day if they are happy, healthy and secure isn't that whats needed for you both.

  • I have 'worn' both my DD2 (almost 3) and DD3 (13mnths) from birth. ITA that what ever works for you is the best way to go, and for us babywearing has been the best option, both for conveniance (hands free when chasing toddlers!, making a brew etc and I HATE waiting for lifts when out shopping LOL) and also I found it a really lovely bonding experiance which also helped to establish my breastfeding with them both. As they have grown older the carrying has reduced and there have certainly been instances where using a pushchair has been invaluable, I find that BWing compliments my parenting style rather than dictates it iyswim.
    There are LOADS of different types of slings out there from long fabric (woven or 'stretchy') wraps to structured carriers and what you prefer is very much a personal prefrence (My prefrences also change depending on the age/weight of the baby/child, whether I am doing a front or back carry etc). I would strongly recommend going along to a slingmeet if you can get to one so you can see/try different ones IRL to see what you prefer, otherwise have a surf around as there are a few great BWing forums with lots of info/advice :D

  • I found wearing Rhiannon in a sling a lot more practical when I was scrambling over stiles and farm gates when out walking the dog - not so handy when I was out shoe shopping and needed to try on shoes!!! :eek: Found the sling handy around the house when she was very tiny and she was grumpy (she was never a baby that slept much in the day - or at all! - but she would sleep occasionally in the sling) but it's whatever you're happiest with, there's no right or wrong way.

  • after looking into it and reading all your responses i think i want to incorporate babywaering into our parenting somehow as i can see many benefits so thanks for all your help so far keep it coming as i am finding it very useful.

    it is impossible to be unhappy whilst wearing my baby in a tattoo style mei tai!!!

  • We have carried our ds in a sling since he was born (and he was a 'heavy baby' and I have a bad back...), with no problems. If you get the right sort of sling you should have no problems with baby's weight or your own comfort. We have always used the sling out and about and never use a buggy. He sleeps in it, feeds in it and interacts in it too. For us its been perfect and I really enjoy the freedom it gives us and the closeness. Also it has been proven that babies that are carried tend to cry less. And as Hennagirl mentioned it is very good to encourage milk supply too.

    There are loads of different carriers and slings out there, I would highly recommend mei tais, wraps, and we started off originally with a close baby carrier.

    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]May all beings have happiness and create the causes of happiness.
    May they all be free from suffering and from creating the causes of suffering.
    [/FONT]

  • Also it has been proven that babies that are carried tend to cry less.



    Bloody hell :eek: :eek: If that's the case I dread to think what Rhiannon would've been like if I hadn't carried her! :D

    I don't think all babies like to be confined by a sling - same as with the idea of swaddling. Tried that one too because babies are supposed to like the confinement as it reminds them of being in the womb (and various cultures have done it for thousands of years etc etc) and they sleep all curled up for the first few weeks - but with my gorgeous little pain-in-the arse it wasn't the case. Got a photo of her at an hour old with legs stretched out and arms flung out over her head. She hated having her arms confined by swaddling and would kick her legs free. In the same way the sling only worked when she wanted it (although it's definately been a godsend at times!)! She's an independent little monkey :D

    That's not to say I won't be trying it with the next one (for someone who never wanted kids I can't believe I've just written that :clap:) - just that there's no hard and fast rule :flower: :flower:

  • Quote from Uma

    Also it has been proven that babies that are carried tend to cry less.


    Ditto Noctula,some babies dont like it.And babys cry,its how they communicate,its not a *bad* thing for them to do.


    Babies and parents are individuals,one parent with a bad back and heavy baby might be fine with a sling,another wont.Neithers wrong.The one thing guaranteed to make parenting :insane: is trying to live up to ideals about whats best for babies.


  • I don't think all babies like to be confined by a sling - same as with the idea of swaddling.



    ITA that all babies have their own little personalities and likes and dislikes but IMO the big difference between swaddling and BWing is the human contact/movement element. Most babies are swaddled with the intension of then putting them down to sleep in a cot for examole whereas in a sling the baby moves with the mother (or whomever is doing the carrying ;)), also hears (her) heartbeat, smells the milk if bfing and the whole experiance minimcs interuterine life more than swaddling alone iyswim. 'Most' babies carried, especially from birth find it a very soothing, reassuring thing hence a calmer, less likely to cry baby......BUT obviously there will always be the exception to the rule :D


  • I don't think all babies like to be confined by a sling - same as with the idea of swaddling.



    Of course. As with any study there is always an exception, but generally the majority of babies that are carried cry less. Shall try and find the link to the data later. :)

    [FONT=Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]May all beings have happiness and create the causes of happiness.
    May they all be free from suffering and from creating the causes of suffering.
    [/FONT]

  • I am a baby-wearer ('wearer' always makes me think of handbags :eek:) and love every minute of it. For me, it felt like the most natural thing in the world, and it still does feel that way. I can say with my hand on my heart that I have never once wished I had a pushchair.


    I can't give pros and cons compared with a buggy because I have never used one, but I can tell you what I love about carrying Isobel... I feel that because I am in close contact with her a lot of the time (and when she was very small, more or less *all* the time) I am more attuned to what's going on with her than I may otherwise have been. I also know that she feels safe and snuggled and secure, and I feel confident that I always know what's going on with her. And I think our breastfeeding relationship has benefitted because she always has super-easy access to boobs (I feed on demand) and I can even now feed her while on the move if I need - which I imagine will be a big benefit if I have another baby while chasing Izzy around!


    And also, it's just so convenient. Anywhere I would normally go, I can go with Izzy in the sling, and there are very few things it restricts me from. We've just come back from a festival, and I had a wonderful time last night dancing (gently!) to live drums with her on my back... while she was alseep, for half the time! And when she woke up, she had a lovely time looking around us while I boogied. I love that.


    Now she's getting bigger, I carry her on my back more often than on my front, but when she was smaller, it was wonderful to be able to see and smell her all the time - and vica-versa. Though even when she is on my back, I can obviously feel her, and she gives me non-verbal cues to let me know how she's doing. I can remember a long time before I had a baby of my own, I used to say "I'd love to carry my baby, but I'd never carry them on my back because I wouldn't know if they're OK" - but of course you do, and Isobel *loves* watching the world go by from up there.


    I have used quite a few different slings, and the ones I have found most useful have been a freedom pouch, which is a ring sling, for when she was a tiny bean, and now she is bigger, an ellaroo wrap (it takes a bit of practise to get the hang of it, mind). When I have my next baby, I'll probably use the wrap from birth because I am experienced with it, but would have found it too difficult to faff around with when she was very small - plus, back then I didn't have as much confidence in using slings as I now do. The wrap slings are amazing because you can do loads of different carries with them to suit you in any situation.


    Hope that helps :)

  • I'm not a parent, I know nothing about the technicalities of children and how you're meant to bring them up, but I think that if you are unsure then try both when the little one comes :) I don't think there is any rights or wrongs of how to hold/transport a baby or child while you're out and about.


    :hug:


    :clap:


    just give it all a go hun - wear babba and use the pram, and you'll soon figure out a way which works - i've buggied and slung both mine various amounts in various situations...bug me on msn if you wanna chat aboot it :)


    a thought about slinging - try and 'wear' baby regularly even if its only for a few mins at a time - purely so your body gets used to baby's growth and you dont put them on one day and your back scream at you after 10 mins ;)

    not your average girl...

    The post was edited 1 time, last by Pumpkin: trying + breastfeeding = typos ().

  • i've never doubted that I wanted to carry (or 'wear') my little one. Even having a wriggly 9lb newborn wasn't a prob. I must admit we went through a stage where he preferred a pushchair (easier for food shopping when you don't drive). Now at a whopping 18lb and 14wks old he's in love with his sling.
    Even my parents have come around to the idea.
    I don't think it's the sling that necc. makes them cry less, but the philosophy that goes with babywearers. And I don't mean extreme.


    I'd say go for it! It's ace. x

  • Ultimately, I think you need to do what's right for you and your family, and try out different things to see what works for you and your lifestyle, an not worry to much about what's correct. I can tell you my experiences though.

    I have both a soft structured carrier and pushchair, but I find I use the carrier much more. I use an Ergobaby carrier, and have done since Aiken was born - you need an extra insert bit when the baby's tiny, and then just use the carrier when they are a bit bigger. When Aiken was smaller, I carried him on my front, but as he's getting bigger, I put him on my back more and more. I do have a woven wrap as well but I haven't found it particularly easy to use, I think this is because I needed to be shown how to tie it in person, rather than trying to learn from a book (and I've only really had the book). I also think a knitted wrap might have been easier to use than a woven one to start with, as it would be stretchy so is probably more forgiving.

    Chris likes carrying Aiken too, and we deliberately chose a unisex-looking carrier so it was suitable for both of us to use.

    The time I use the carrier most is when we go out. But, because Aiken seems generally happy in the carrier, I will put him in it and wander round the house if he's unsettled at home. I definately find the carrier much more convenient for using public transport, and I don't have any problems going to places where there are steps and no lifts. I did need my husband and a mate to give me a pull when I was walking up a very steep hill recently with Aiken on my back (but I'd've needed help to get a push chair up it too).

    Another advantage when he was smaller, was that he was held upright in the carrier, which seemed to help when he had bouts of colick.

    There have been times I have found the push chair better though - in very hot weather (it is much warmer having a hot little body tied to you), it was much cooler and comfortable for both of us; I also put him in it when I had to go for a cervical smear; I've used it when buying clothes I needed to try on; and I could see how it might be useful at the swimming pool, so you've got somewhere dry to put the baby down when you've got them dried and dressed.

    There are a few things which I find useful when I'm carrying Aiken - when I carry him on my front, a rucksac style changing bag works well, when he's on my back, a shoulder bag seems better. I have a pouch which fits on the waist belt of the carrier, which I put things like my keys, wallet and phone in, so they're handy. I have a wheely shopping bag which I use for trips to the supermarket, it folds up as well, so I can put it in the changing bag when it's empty. I have a mirror which I use when he's on my back so I can see if him (check if he's asleep and so on).

    If you can, it might be worth trying a range of slings, carriers and so on with a weighted doll inside (the place we bought the carrier from had one of these) so you can get an idea of what it's going to feel like with a baby in there.

  • Thats a really good post AnnieAnne :thumbup:


    Almost makes me want a baby so I can put those tips to good use and look like a super efficient mum from the off :D

  • thanks annie anne that really was useful for me as im pretty sure i want to incorporate baby wearing into my parenting along with the push chair and you have given me just the explanation of 1 way to do that. i know i will probably find my owns ways too but that has given me a good possitive start thankyou...... hmm just need to look at carriers now is there anywhere were you can test them out to see what would suit in the long run as i dont really have money to waste if its not the right one???

    it is impossible to be unhappy whilst wearing my baby in a tattoo style mei tai!!!