taking children away from everyday schools

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  • i was wondering about this the other day that when children are in schools they have regular 9-5 interaction with children there age. learning to deal with people handle there selves with all the social interaction.

    is there a danger of the child becoming detatched from society and lacking in their social skills.

    i guess developing a nervousness towards social situations and feeling outcast?

  • You can't really generalise on this one cos each child is an individual.. one child may thrive on individualised learning with very little in the way of peer group interaction on a daily basis - maybe getting enough social interaction from a weekly group session... another child may absolutely need the structure of conventional school to learn social skills and get enough social interaction...it's impossible to generalise or hypothesise because each child is unique...

  • School gave me a nervousness towards social situations and a feeling of being outcast.....so i think that can be a danger either way really...


    I think whever to home school depends on the children involved, the time and commitment the parents have in home schooling their kids....
    I do think that kids need interaction with other kids so if kids are homeschooled it would be a good idea to involve them in other clubs and activities that involve other kids their own age...

  • You can't really generalise on this one

    I'd agree with that. I've seen children come out of "alternative" schools (and home schooling) as complete social misfits with few interpersonal skills. But I've also seen it produce some amazingly confident, well-rounded individuals. There's simply too many factors to allow for generalisation, I reckon.

  • School gave me a nervousness towards social situations and a feeling of being outcast.....so i think that can be a danger either way really...

    I think whever to home school depends on the children involved, the time and commitment the parents have in home schooling their kids....
    I do think that kids need interaction with other kids so if kids are homeschooled it would be a good idea to involve them in other clubs and activities that involve other kids their own age...



    agreed..but the hard part is to work out which is best for your child. many home schoolers start after a conventional school has failed for a variety of reasons. until your child has been thrown into social interaction.. how do you know if it is good for them or not?

    there is also the reality of the distraction of younger siblings in a home school environment. You cant take a few years off to have another baby:whistle:

  • I think that I personally would have been better off not going to a 'normal' school - a small home-ed collective kinda thing probably would have been better for me, plus going to groups and stuff. But every child is different and school might be best for some.


    I agree with Kaiya about the social side of school - just because you're with other children all day, doesn't necessarily mean that you'll feel more socially integrated or at ease. It depends on whether you feel accepted and supported by the people in the school. Sadly, school can be a place where you learn to feel lonely and unable to connect in the crowd.

  • I'd agree with that. I've seen children come out of "alternative" schools (and home schooling) as complete social misfits with few interpersonal skills. But I've also seen it produce some amazingly confident, well-rounded individuals. There's simply too many factors to allow for generalisation, I reckon.


    Absolutely! I think it has a great deal to do with the basic personality of the child. Some children excel in large groups, while others prefer a one-to-one situation. The best way to handle the social interaction aspect of education, if a child is being home schooled, is to belong to a home schooling association (they are very common in the US). These groups get together for physical education, sports, field trips, dances, etc. That way the students get the best of both worlds - the social activity of a regular school with the intense and very beneficial education of one-on-one teaching and learning.


    If I had had the opportunity to home school my daughter, I would have done it in a heartbeat.

  • complete social misfits with few interpersonal skills.


    I went to "normal" schools and that sums me up pretty well.
    Having lots of other children around never did me any good - just a larger number of people waiting to tell me I was wrong, hurl the insults and help me feel even worse.
    As a lot of people have said - it's an individual thing though.

  • it will make a difference.. just depends on the child and all sorts of other factors as to whether the difference is for the better or worse:insane:


    And that is the conundrum. However, I think placing children in schools where class size is as small as possible is always a winner. While some children can do well in huge classes, most children will get lost in the shuffle and it's my personal opinion that a lot of very bright kids are never recognized or encouraged because they don't necessarily do well with the format.


    On a personal note, I found the National Curriculum absolutely diabolical and the teaching to exam soul-crushing. There is no real learning - just memorizing in order to pass the test.

  • I was in a school till about year 7, Those years were social HELL, I rapidly cycled threw friends, bullied, it affected everything in my life.



    then took my self out. I quickly found very good friends who I could see when I wanted on my terms, I could also choose to leave the people who I didnt like / didnt like me, you cant do this in a school situation, infact alot of schools will purposely put children like this together.


    As soon as a child learns to make friends with people other than the people they are forced to be with 9-5 friends come pouring in AND you learn to choose the ones you actually like and not friends based on your age / skill at school. This happens faster the younger the child is, Also the parents have to get over their idea that socalisation only happens at school. Apparently some kids never develop these skills, but Ive never met one! Ive only heard rumors, compared with the many socially screwed up kids that I often meet coming out of schools!
    :wall:


    I now have excelent friends for life, Some who went threw the school system but most who left around the time I did.


    Even my mum who was SO anti homeschool, is so glad I made the desisions I did Re my school, she says I have changed so much for the better, and my social skills came on leaps and bounds very quickly!



    Sorry long post! Homeschooling is VERY close to my heart. esspeshally the socialisation argument that seams to be the one that always comes up!

  • I believe that with some children a public school environment is too overwhelming and impersonal to be able to meet their individual needs.
    We have over crowded classrooms and teachers that are there to just do a job. Their not there for the love of it.
    Home schooling (if possible) has so many benefits that a lot of them especially when it comes to a child's emotional development out way an impersonal public school.
    Don't think I'm being biased. Both my children went to a public school. If I was able to home school I would have. But unfortunately being a single Mother I had to work to support my children and was not able to give them that unique opportunity.

  • I think it's hard to know how your kids will fare in a school environment 'til they've tried it - and then primary school and secondary school are really different to each other anyway. Our plan for Isobel is to send her to the local primary school and just see how she does - if she thrives there then fantastic, if she doesn't, we'll look at whether homeschooling will be more appropriate for her... and the same with any other kids we have. We could end up with one homeschooled child and one at mainstream school, or maybe they will go to mainstream school for a few years and then change - because children are different and have different needs. I would imagine it's a lot easier to switch from school to home education than the other way around, though, which is another reason we want them all to try primary school first.


    If we lived in the right place and could afford it, I'd love for my kids to go to a Montessouri school, but that isn't an option as things stand, unfortunately :(

  • Oh, and the socialisation thing: I agree with axe-wielder on this and have met many homeschooled kids, none of whom lack social skills. Learning to interact with other people involves a lot more than being thrown into a roomful of people the same age as you.

  • he only thing is once your child has been registered in school, the government make sure you teachnational curriculum, and you have to submit lesson plans and all sorts, as far as i know if you homeschool from the start you dont have to. i may be wrong tho. i'd love to homeschool eden, but again, as a single parent im never going to be able to do it, unless he is really suffering in school, then i will look again at it.


    what scares me is the religious side of schooling, all our local schools invite ministers in to do things like sex education and stuff and i find it really offensive that pagainism and atheism are completly left out of any mention in school. drives me nuts that even our 5 year olds are being locked into organised religion. anyway, thats off topic, i apologise.

    Turned on, tuned in, loved up, trippin out, freaky on the outside, shiny in the middle.

  • I know this is an old thread - hope you don't mind me resurrecting it.


    I homeschool, and none of my kids have been in (with the exception of the eldest who went to nursery when we lived in Sweden).
    My eldest is ever so slightly autistic, but even considering that factor, he's very sociable.


    Personally I think home educated kids *can* have better social skills than schooled kids, having lots of adults around can be a real advantage. it depends on lots of things, including how sociable their parents are, what social activities they do, etc. Being part of the local community seems to me to be more 'natural' socialisation than a class of peers.


    Just curious to know why you were asking really. ?

  • i would really love to home school my kids after having such a negative experience of the school that my child is in at the moment, however the odds really are against me, im also a single mum, i dont drive , money is tighter than tight and i actually beleive that my lad does thrive on the structure of school, well he did before he moved to this school..
    oh and to boot i am dyslexic and have an attention span of 0 and am clearly not of accedemic teaching matterial.

  • You might be surprised - the latest research indicates that home educated children do better academically regardless of their parents' education, provided they are allowed to become their own teachers. There are ways to educate for free, and you don't need to go anywhere that costs money - there are plenty of free 'field-trips' in a local community. You could give it a temporary try to see what it's like. Let me know if you're interested.
    x
    S

  • You are in no way obliged to teach the national curriculum as a home educator. Your LEA may try to enforce it, but they would not be within their rights to do so.


    It is also not within their rights to demand lesson plans or anything of the sort. Again, some LEA's try to get away with as much demanding as people will allow, but they are not within the law if they do. It pays to know your rights.


    Btw, there's a petition against the compulsory teaching of sex education to 5yo's if you're interested I'll try and find the link.
    x
    Shosh



    he only thing is once your child has been registered in school, the government make sure you teachnational curriculum, and you have to submit lesson plans and all sorts, as far as i know if you homeschool from the start you dont have to. i may be wrong tho. i'd love to homeschool eden, but again, as a single parent im never going to be able to do it, unless he is really suffering in school, then i will look again at it.


    what scares me is the religious side of schooling, all our local schools invite ministers in to do things like sex education and stuff and i find it really offensive that pagainism and atheism are completly left out of any mention in school. drives me nuts that even our 5 year olds are being locked into organised religion. anyway, thats off topic, i apologise.

  • milly starts nursery next time then primary school im gonna see how she goes then do same with beth i have never pushed them to be this that or the other just themselves. i was a round peg in a square hole in a crap school and bullied badly i learned coz i wanted too not coz it was cool to do nowt and act up. i have a really good degree as a result that i did to prove a point that i am a natural blonde and i do have a brain.

  • I am thinking about taking Ariadne out of school. She is 5, I thought she would love it, but her confidence drops when she gets there. She is a very sociable little thing but since she has started school she has got very self conscious. The teacher doesnt listen to me about the fact she is constantly picked on by another girl and also getting bored as she is ahead of he other kids in her class. It is infuriating.
    I was home educated til I was 11 and don't feel I missed out.
    I am not sure whether I should take her out or not, it's a big thing, but I don't think she is benefiting much at the moment. At assembly on Friday they shut the curtains and have happy clapping sessions which I think brain washes the kids, and they don't seem to focus on anything else (I have stood outside and listened!!).
    It seems to be a bit of a negative experience at the moment, I'm really not sure what to do.

  • Well, if it's ok to 'advertise', I run the national Home Ed Network: http://homeeduk.ning.com/ why not take a look and join up - it's a good place to ask questions.
    Some children just aren't ready to start at 5. We started with the intention of keeping lillpojke home until he was 7, but somehow now he's turning 13....:eek:

  • This is a very interesting thread. I intend to homeschool my son when he leaves primary school, he is 8 and has Asperger's Syndrome and Anxiety Disorder.


    Despite having 2 schools within walking distance of our house, I drive him 8 miles to a tiny little school with only 30 children. The 2 local schools weren't right for him, they each have over 100 children and one is where all the rough local kids go and the other is where all the posh kids go and is very academic.


    The school he is in is fantastic, they have great staff and he has a support worker and a statement of SEN (special educational needs) he has done so well but still struggles with various aspects of school.


    He is very very naive and emotionally is like a 5 year old, he suffers excessive anxiety and finds change very difficult. I cannot see how a child like him can go from a cosy little school with only 30 children and the same teacher every day to the horrors of high school with over 1000 kids and different teachers and classrooms for every lesson.


    It's like throwing a little fluffy rabbit in with the wolves.