Education...

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  • @ Oya - if i were mugged and abused on a street in London, i wouldnt take my child to that neighbour hood (let alone let him walk it alone) if i went to a bar and was abused because of my colour, weight, height or sex - i wouldnt let my 5 year old go there alone

    so why should i HAVE to send my child to school, where all these nasty things happened, for six hours a day. Alone??

    I am not debating that some people might WANT to send their kids to school thats their choice

    but it should be more of a CHOICE everyone is different, we should respect that in all areas of life, particularly when children are involved

  • Quote from Fibi

    @ Oya - if i were mugged and abused on a street in London, i wouldnt take my child to that neighbour hood (let alone let him walk it alone) if i went to a bar and was abused because of my colour, weight, height or sex - i wouldnt let my 5 year old go there alone


    Do what I learned to do...hit them in a place where the bruises don't show. That's not a fluffy or shiny happy way of saying it, but there's a reason I CAN walk in places where other people wouldn't dare; I don't look like easy pickings, because I learned not to look like easy pickings. The teasing in my school didn't stop when I "ignored them" (what stupid advice is that), it didn't stop when teachers told them to (or actually just ignored it because they AGREED with the beatings), it stopped because I broke a kid's nose and put another kid on the ground in a lock until he promised to never EVER touch me again. Not a very hippy-pacifist thing to do, and I was raised pacifist, but sometimes, pacifist merely means "easy target".


    There are nasty people everywhere...someday, sometime, whether I like it or not, my child is going to have to learn to deal with them. I cannot protect him from everything, I cannot be everywhere. I cannot put him in a glass bubble and make sure he's never hurt, as much as I'd like to. Sometimes the harshest and best lesson of life is to learn to be you, not merely because people around you are supportive of it, but in SPITE of all the people around you telling you how awful they think you are.


    I want my son to learn to hold his head high...and believe me I had this same conversation/argument with STBE. And again, I had to realise I can't project my awful childhood experiences on my son...he'll learn, like I did. I'll support him as much as I can, but he HAS to learn the awful lesson that sometimes, People Suck.

  • i think you are projecting your experience onto your kid though, we all do, thats part of being a parent!

    and there is MIDDLE ground - it doesnt have to be - send to the wolves OR wrap in cotton wool

    there is a medium!!! i'll say it again THERE IS A MEDIUM!!!

  • But you keep seeming to "debate" the exact opposite here, you say it's okay to want, and yet you say there has to be a medium and anything else is too extreme...ugh, this is why I don't do debates....if you wanna change things, get off the forums and actually go to the schools and education board and do something. Ranting ain't doing squat, y0.

  • Look honey, if i choose to discuss my childrens future, then i will thank you, if you dont wish to be involved - dont reply, its quite simple

  • Fair dos "honey" but don't go painting parents and teachers in a shite light because you didn't get enough attention as a child, that shits me right up a wall. And if people don't agree with you, kicking and screaming when you don't even have kids is what's wrong with the system.


    Have a few, then get back to me.

  • Quote from Fibi

    i think you are projecting your experience onto your kid though, we all do, thats part of being a parent!


    I'm sorry but I disagree with that statement and I think that a lot of other parents will do too...


    I do not project my experiences onto my child... I let my experiences guide how I parent... I understand that projecting anything onto your child is unfair... they may be your child but they are still their own person... and different from you... what may be good for you may not be good for your child.. Most people realise this when they become a parent.


    I think that a lot of people are underestimating children... For example Laney when she said that school make children into conformists with no individuality... How can that be true... I seem to recall most of my year kicking against the rules... asking questions... defining our identity (much to the disgust of the school)... Is everyone who goes to a state school some kind of mindless drone with no identity.. Looking at all of the people I know that went to state school.... NO!!!


    I am NOT saying that the education system we have is ideal.. it is far from that... But what I am saying is that we need educational reform... But not in the sense you are so fiercely debating... I would like to see a Vygotskian framework implemented in ALL schools not just Montessori schools... That way ALL children would be given an EQUAL chance of getting the education they deserve...

  • WTF are you talking about mate??? all i am suggesting that i have my children study at home a few hours a day - what the hell is wrong with that

    maybe my opinion will change when i have babies, maybe not - but its not a desicion i am going to jump into lightly and the education of my children is important to me.

    tbh i think that is far better than the attitude of some of the mothers i see.

    perhaps next time you tell someone to 'have a few' you shoulod think about that - they aint pints of beer love

    Really have nothing more to say to you thanks

  • Quote from tekno

    I'm sorry but I disagree with that statement and I think that a lot of other parents will do too...

    I do not project my experiences onto my child... I let my experiences guide how I parent... I understand that projecting anything onto your child is unfair... they may be your child but they are still their own person... and differnt from you... what may be good for you may not be good for your child.. Most parents realise this...



    yep i can go with that - pretty much what i was trying to say but in more detail (thanks x)

  • I am obviously biased having Home Educated my son ( 14 now ) for the last 4 Years , i saw my 'job' as a facilitator .. if he wanted to learn about Roman History ..then we would hop in the Van and go to a Roman Settlement . many ' Scientific Subjects " we did as fun hands on education .. like teaching him to Scuba Dive at age 12 in Israel and Cyprus ( in the UK you have to be 16 to open water dive ! ) at 10 meters underwater you learn about gravity , pressure , vectors etc ....but can have fun doing it !



  • yep sounds good, if schools can get to that level i will be far happier sending my children there

  • Quote from mike on tour

    I am obviously biased having Home Educated my son ( 14 now ) for the last 4 Years , i saw my 'job' as a facilitator .. if he wanted to learn about Roman History ..then we would hop in the Van and go to a Roman Settlement . many ' Scientific Subjects " we did as fun hands on education .. like teaching him to Scuba Dive at age 12 in Israel and Cyprus ( in the UK you have to be 16 to open water dive ! ) at 10 meters underwater you learn about gravity , pressure , vectors etc ....but can have fun doing it !



    And you obviously did that because you are projecting negative influence onto your son and denying him the priviledge of going to school :rolleyes:

    But in reality, you gave your son what you thought was the best education for him - much respect daddyO

  • Quote from mike on tour

    I am obviously biased having Home Educated my son ( 14 now ) for the last 4 Years , i saw my 'job' as a facilitator .. if he wanted to learn about Roman History ..then we would hop in the Van and go to a Roman Settlement . many ' Scientific Subjects " we did as fun hands on education .. like teaching him to Scuba Dive at age 12 in Israel and Cyprus ( in the UK you have to be 16 to open water dive ! ) at 10 meters underwater you learn about gravity , pressure , vectors etc ....but can have fun doing it !


    That's what i would like to do ideally if I had a child :)

  • Quote from Fibi

    i dont see how teaching from home for some of the time will change that


    I wasn't saying that it would... what I was saying is that sending a child to school full time is not as damaging as some people are saying it is... Not all schools are shit... neither are all teachers... I think some people are projecting their own negative experiences onto this subject... I am not against home education... if you feel you are up to the task.. I know that I am not... I don't have the patience to do it well ... :D


    Quote

    yep sounds good, if schools can get to that level i will be far happier sending my children there


    It's better than sounds good! I have read tonnes of research that has studies the qualitative difference between 'traditional' schooling vs. Vygotskian and the results all say the same thing... When we give children the chance to explore their own way of learning and they are given support (from teachers and classmates alike) they tend to develop basic academic skills more quickly and they also learn how to think... Which is what is lacking in the way we educate today...

  • i will stick with, it sounds good - its AN option, which is more than the current system gives me at the moment

    but its still just ONE option. i believe there are many options and ways to raise a child, a few people have come on this thread and discussed them (which is what the thread is for, actually) and i am very happy to have that knowledge

    i find it very strange that people are desperate to change my view of school, i would love to know your experience and how you deal with stuff,, but in essence, i dont want to shape how you raise your child, i am simply looking for new ideas as to raise my right.

    I dont know why there is this ongoing problem with people who disagree about certain things. ITS OKAY TO DISAGREE we could just be sharing ideas and thoughts, instead i am being told that it is intrinsically wrong to think how i do about the educational system and that until i 'have a few' my point of view is not valid

    which i think is completely beside the point

    In a utopian society, what do YOU think is the best way to educate and raise a child???

    and in the great scheme of things, teenage mothers 'having a few' (sorry cant quite get over that comment, and from a mother too) just to have a council house on some shitty estate. Women who work 12 hrs days because their kids dont 'need' them any more when they start school

    and here i am trying to do my best and get my head straight, because i want the best for my kid, and i get no end of fucking stick for it

    i think there are far worse methods than mine, and i dont think i should be ridiculed for wanting whats best for my children

    i really didnt expect it here - of all places

  • Quote from Fibi

    and here i am trying to do my best and get my head straight, because i want the best for my kid, and i get no end of fucking stick for it

    i think there are far worse methods than mine, and i dont think i should be ridiculed for wanting whats best for my children

    i really didnt expect it here - of all places



    You're not 'getting stick' or being 'ridiculed' for your opinions at all. Please stop being dramatic and pouncing on others, otherwise this thread will just get locked.

  • Quote from Fibi

    And you obviously did that because you are projecting negative influence onto your son and denying him the priviledge of going to school :rolleyes:

    But in reality, you gave your son what you thought was the best education for him - much respect daddyO


    'obviously " lol ... No you assume a lot , my kid was going through hell at his School ... i put him in another one and became a Governor .. he was still desperately unhappy , referred by GP to Hospital and they were very concerned about him and said the situation needed a solution ..i had read up on Education Otherwise and ' we ' de-registered that same day !
    Its a much harder life for the parents ....its a lot easier just to drop your kid off at 8.30 and pick them up at 3.30 !

  • i do hope you realised that first sentance was very tongue in cheek Mike xx :p

    well done you for doing what you think is best (whatever that might be) i must ask, how old is your son now? and how is he dealing with social skills, interaction and general academic achievments?

    is he of normal reading and writing level?

    i would be very interested to know xx

  • Quote from Ms. Vee

    You're not 'getting stick' or being 'ridiculed' for your opinions at all. Please stop being dramatic and pouncing on others, otherwise this thread will just get locked.



    this thread was put up for people to discuss their views on education, not pesecute those who dont agree with them.

    i dont think locking an otherwise intelligent conversation is really going to solve anything

    you guys will do what you like (obviously) but please dont lock it - i would very much like to hear what Mike has to say.

  • Fibi I don't think anyone is ridculing you... really really not. What people are doing is challenging your thinking and telling you their own points of view and experiences of their own education and also their childrens...


    I also don't think that anyone is trying to change the way you view education... You may take it that way... but it is just as easy for people to take it that you are preaching about the evils of school and that we should all take more time to educate our children.. I am not saying that is what you are intending to covey but that is what it seems like at times... :)


    Which is why you have been told to wait until you actually have kids before you start planning out their lives... babe I know this from experience... I had all kinds of plans for my child... like every parent i want the best for my child... but when she actually arrived and started to grow I soon realised that my expectation and the reality of being a parent were miles apart...


    :hug:

  • If i were preaching about the evils of school, i wouldnt be desperate for a situation where my children could attend for some of the day!!!!!!!


    i would just like a medium, or many mediums, something mallable that can suit different children and different parents.

    Planning out a life and getting some research and chatting to other people are two very different things.

  • But it seems that you want to feel ridiculed and presecuted don't you... ffs Fibi I was offering some really good advice... It sounds as if you have been preachin... oh fook it... you won't read my post properly so what is the fooking point... I'm out of this discussion... It is a bit pointless... and far too drama fulled...

  • I loved school - it was a safe haven from the madness at home

    I have thought long and hard about home education for son - but I cant do it, I end up screaming at him - I dont have enough patience - and as a single parent it is unhealthy to spend all our time together. i have just done 4 years with him part time schooling due to illness and the home tutors provided did a much better job than I could do.

  • Quote from tekno

    But it seems that you want to feel ridiculed and presecuted don't you... ffs Fibi I was offering some really good advice... It sounds as if you have been preachin... oh fook it... you won't read my post properly so what is the fooking point... I'm out of this discussion... It is a bit pointless... and far too drama fulled...



    tbh i am quite glad, i am far more interested in what Mike and Sarah have to say about their own experiences, than have people repeatedly comment on my opinion whilst giving very little of their own.

    thanks for your input i have appreciated it, but i also would like to move on from this now, and hear other peoples input x

  • Quote from Fibi

    tbh i am quite glad, i am far more interested in what Mike and Sarah have to say about their own experiences, than have people repeatedly comment on my opinion whilst giving very little of their own.


    I did you just didn't read it... :rolleyes:

  • Quote from winter

    I loved school - it was a safe haven from the madness at home

    I have thought long and hard about home education for son - but I cant do it, I end up screaming at him - I dont have enough patience - and as a single parent it is unhealthy to spend all our time together. i have just done 4 years with him part time schooling due to illness and the home tutors provided did a much better job than I could do.



    Hey - how did he cope with Homeschooling tutors? that sounds like an expensive option but for some directed study once or twice a week it might not be too bad

    did he react well to them? and how was it spending half the time in school and half out, was that okay with the school?? did his social status decline or have any side effects?

  • Quote from tekno

    I did you just didn't read it... :rolleyes:



    i have read all your posts, i have thanked you for your input, i have found COMMON ground where we can discuss this issue outside of a negative and nasty debating headspace

    but the only time you respond to my posts is when you fervently disagree with what i say.

    so thanks for your time, but i would like this conversation to be plesant and i dont think me and you are bouncing off eachother well.

    the amount of times i have said the same things over and over and its been totally ignored and disregarded by you. but your quite happy to pick me up on bits that arent quite what you think.

    i would say that was persicution, negative and down right rude considering the subject matter.

    thanks for your input (i said it again) now please can we hear about some actual experiences rather than just nastyness

  • Fibi - my son was missing out a bit on the 'social ' side of School , though loved the big ' Home Ed Camps ' we toured every summer , his level of English did concern me and i arranged for him to go to a small Private School in Cyprus 2 days a week . He liked that and a few months ago decided he would like to try out a School in a different area ( i noticed as a Governor the very high levels of ' problem ' kids coming from dysfunctional families in our catchment area ) so he was offered the choice of flexi-boarding at a School in Devon quiet near his mother and wants to study for GCSEs there ...which is fine by me ( though bloody expensive ) .
    During the 4 Years of ' Education Otherwise " we have both learnt a lot and for him it was a great option , now he is a confident happy teenager ready to take on anything .....a very differant child to the one i had to cope with 4 years ago !

  • so there were some draw backs to home schooling?? this is what i have thought too, hence wanting something in the middle.

    it sounds like you have been on quite a journey with your sons education, and i am glad hes happy in a place now where he can study for his exams.

    the social side of it does worry me, i admit. i like how you seem to have dealt with situations as they have come up, rather than setting any particuarly thought or idea in stone

    i think all schools/parents should be more like this... would save alot of problems!