Sprog's off to school

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  • Okay, so I suppose this was what I've been waiting for, basically, for the past four years so I could sort of feel like I have a sense of independence again. I've made it through sleepness nights where I started hallucinating I was so badly run down on sleep, I made it through the FIRST time STBE decided he didn't want to be a dad, and the SECOND time. I made it through my son's strange behaviour, and then the diagnosis why, I've made it through teething, through tantrums which have left me with physical scars (and you ain't seen a tantrum till you've seen an autistic child's tantrums). I've dealt with people glaring at me whenever my kid did something socially unacceptable because he didn't know better, and I've gone through starting to lose my hair through the stress, and it's growing back in. Gone through moving to a place I loathe and screwing up my son's school plans for STBE's job, and scrambling for a placement, and nearly going utterly mad during six weeks of summer break....

    And we've found him a school which will be perfect for him. We took him round the school and he loved it. They're actually operating at half-capacity for the first six months so he'll have one on one learning.

    STBE went to pick up his school uniform stuff, and then sproggo decided he had to model it. He came out, and I swear I was only able to see him for a few seconds and then my eyes started to well up. He's tall for his age (HUGE for his age, actually, he looks seven - which of course means people judge him even more for his behaviour, as he's still four, turns five in three weeks), and he looked a right young man - almost ready to ask for keys to the car, well if we had a car.

    And suddenly, I wanted my baby back. I wanted the crawling, giggling, tigger-suit wearing wee babby, who drooled and smiled at everyone and so wasn't ready to leave mummy's side so quickly. He still can't talk well, has to have help dressing himself, still doesn't understand social cues and has a lot to learn, he's GOT to go to school, these are things I don't have the patience to teach him on my own...but I still want to put the breaks on, or maybe go into reverse. I think I understand now why mums say their children are always their babies to them...I never twigged before.

    But I sure as hell do now.

  • Ahh I know that feeling. I went through that last year, I simply could not understand why all the mummys were crying as they were walking out of the school, till I walked away myself and just blubbered like a twit. My daughter starts year 1 today, last year flew by and not once did I like her going to school, I missed her loads. But it got me off my arse and got a decent job. Anyways.. I know that feeling and I'll probably have it again in an hour, but more of a proud feeling that she survived her first year and made so many friends and looks so grown up etc.

    Hope it all goes well :)

  • Oh yeah i remember that feelling well, when they say the little ones cry when they go to school for the 1st day, my recollections are the parents all huddled together watching them go in with tears streaming down their own faces. :D

  • i think its a very natural reaction to want your baby to be a baby again when you see them all uniformed up when there so little.
    my lad doesnt have autism oya but i do so understand the problem with people expecting them to behave differently because they are big, josh is 7 yrs old and taller than most of the 9-10 yr olds in his school.

    i hope he has a lovley first day, it sounds like you have found him a lovley school. :) xx

  • Believe me, it doesn't get better as they get older! My daughter is now 8 and started in Year 4 yesterday. She was really cool about going back to school, none of the nerves I used to have after going back to school after the holidays. As she went to go through the gates, I said to her "Don't I get a kiss?" and the little monkey turned round with a look of embaressment and said in a grown up voice "Oh MUM, I can't kiss you outside school now, I'm in Year 4, what if my friends see??"" Finally realised my little baby girl is growing up! Makes you happy and sad at the same time, blub x

  • I really really thought I woulnd'nt cry when my eldest started school. i blubed like a baby:o

    My 7 yearold is a nutter without a diagnosios but has lots of autistic traits. I never really got a first day with him.

    At 2 he was at a specialist placement at the hospital 3 days a week and going to specialist playgroup. and then at 3 he started special school three days a week and graduly built up and one day it dawned on me that he'd been going to school full-time for a few weeks!!:eek:

  • My boy was back to school today, well I think he is I havn't seen him for over 3 weeks....:rolleyes: but I get to pick him up later and its always a good feeling seeing him running around with his friends....:)

    We are old, we are young, we are in this together... New Model Army....they still going?

  • Charlie actually declared yesterday " Iwanna go back to schooooooooooooool" Bloody school has whacked two inset days onto the end of the holiday so he goes back Friday :rolleyes: fekkin ridiculous!!!

  • My sproggo was in a specialist nursery, and it was lovely, they did wonders with him. If anything, he gets more wound up when he's not around kids so the past six weeks have royally sucked for me at home. Sprog doesn't actually start till next week I think, maybe the 15th at the latest, but yeah...starting school, doing footie, all that stuff is going to be well weird.

    And now he's currently driving me mad and harassing the dog, so it seems my wish for him to stay home was rather shortlived >_<

  • Oya's Daughter I understand what you are saying regarding social ques and what is perceieved as bad behaviour and it is good he has a specialist school right from the beginning. My son had over 90 exclusions and 3 permanant ones 2 from mainstream schools and finally one from a special needs school which left him with no schooling at all , finally he was diagnosed with Aspergers and his statement detailed he needed a 24 hour cirriculum so he now goes away to boarding school , although we both don't like the fact he is away Monday to Friday he is doing really well and like your son is often mis judged as he gets mistaken for being at least 3 years older than he is and expected to behave accordingly. Good luck with his schooling :D

  • Wow, right on for you though, I was indeed lucky as it was caught rather quickly. Crikey, boarding school? And here I am wibbling about him just going off for six hours. That was rather tough, I take it, but as you say, if he's doing really well, then that's what counts! I have issues with the idea of sprog staying in breakfast club/after school club because STBE and me both have to work...but the fact is he loves that sort of thing! So I have to just fight the guilt pangs a bit and get on with it.

  • yeah don't feel guilty.unfortuntely my son got excluded from the only all "inclusive" after school club too so I had to negotiate a term time only contract with work .which means more time off in our van :D

  • hi there x
    it doesnt get easier sorry! my eldest went to spain with her girlfriends last year for the first time and i felt nauseous for a week, like all day morning sickness again! shes about to leave home, number 2 has just started her a levels at 6th form but looks about 12! i have a son of 14 who has always been difficult due to his having adhd. we had nothing but trouble trying to get him help. he is also dyslexic and his sats results put him at about 9 or 10. i thank my angels daily that his school has started a new scheme this year. hes just gone into year 10 and he is doing a construction course rather than the academic stuff he cant deal with so at least he should come out of school with something that will be useful for him. im trying to get his reading and writing to a stage where he can go thro life without being ripped off by peeps cos hes illiterate. the 10 yr old is a maths whizz and goes to big school next year. its amazing to watch them grow and develop as peeps but i so empathise with your feelings of give me the baby back for a few days! i hope this school is all you want for your son :angel: xx

  • Cue another wibbly moment - my son's first tooth fell out tonight. I'm going to slip a wee bit of cash under sprog's pillow and then I'm going to put the tooth in an envelope and save it. I remember coming across my first tooth once in a box at my mum's place and wondering why she would have kept the thing.

    Well...now I know.

  • It had been fascinating him having a "wobbly tooth" and it was sort of cool as I was able to explain why the puppy wants to chew on everything as well.

    He proudly showed me the tooth and we made a show of "rinse and spit" to get the blood out of his mouth, but he wasn't fussed at all.

  • thats really cool he didnt get freaked out by it. i used to bribe my kids with stuff to let me pull the tooth out and their dad would try different bribes cos we both loved pulling teeth cos i think were both a bit sick like that! did the tooth fairy put a quid under his pillow? i used to get 10p and now its a whole quid! took my pop (85) to dentist today, dunno why cos hes only got about 6 teeth in his head ha ha. my son had to have a filling and was worried would it hurt but i havent got any so i said ask your dad. it didnt apparently so he was 'ard about it! :angel:

  • our autistic lads just turned 9 now and he started a special needs school fulltime from 3 an half,and we found it a relief as it gave him the stimulation and routine he needed,and us a break in the day when we had no respite care.with the other 2 that are at school ,it was a similar relief ,but the groups of women comforting each other whilst crying their eyes out didnt do wonders for the kids going in,and even now some mothers are treating their kids like its their first day when they are in class 3.