you dont really want us lot back, do you ?
you dont really want us lot back, do you ?
this made me smile
will upload a recent mini me vid when i can suss how too
Its a nice feeling isnt it
Well done you x
Its been 22 yrs now.
He was a big man,6 ft 5 and 25 stone.
A fighting man in younger days.
locals were gobsmacked when he did what he did ,
so many ppl said to me "but he was such a big strong man"
hmmm , evidently not so cos if he was,he'd probly still be here
just want to be happy and enjoy my life on the road with some good company to have good times and laughs.
There's lots of single travellers,male and female, all wishing for those same things x
I'm one of them,
by choice atm.
it became appharent i needed some time on my own, when life threw a spanner in my works.
Tbh, i've enjoyed most of it
Its given me time and space to learn about myself.
what i do and dont need in life
and also what i really want out of life.
Now with this new knowledge , i wander more freely, going where i want to go,when i want to go.
Finding new places and spaces where,
well one day i hope i do meet somone special.
Its gd to be at one with yourself definatly.
but dosnt everyone need a cwtch and companionship at times ?
Tis your birthday today.
you'd have been 65 today
if you hadnt made an early exit
We've made you a cake anyways,
i guess we'll have to eat it for you to,
The yrs pass but my memorys will never fade
Aw Jo, you and Celyn's journey was amazing, very much an inspiration. I feel really privaleged that i got to share some of it with you:)
couldnt have done it without the love, support n guidence of the wierdy wise women
Hope the march today went well.
Heya Fi :hug:
Good to hear your'e all well xx
Im forever thankful of The midwive's knowledge, experience ,calm energys and faith.
I realise at times hospital is nessacery and that must be such a hard decision to make.
at the same time as monitering both mum and babe and appearing totally calm.
Top respect to Midwive's and the amazing job you/ they do.
cant wait to get gone.
Need my FFFFF's x
I've just watched that Home Delivery programme .
It bought it all back.
Warning-next spoiler contains a long n possibly babbling post about our home birth experience,incase it can give somone somewhere hope and positivity x
may even go look for the pics thred
when baby comes out the wrong colour and is unsure about trying the whole breathing thing
those next few seconds/minute's ...
your long awaited baby and peaceful homebirth become thretened by the sirens of ambulance and bright lights of hospital
the reality/realisation that either or both mum and baby could be in danger
Evryone knows the family want a home birth and probly why..usually past unhappy births ?
Previously ive wondered,as i couldntnt imagine how it feels to be that midwife at that moment.
monitoring both Mum and baby,making probly the most important decisions in that familys life.
To call the ambulance or not ?
Virginia's face said it all,didnt it x
I cried with that last couple..beutiful totally conncted"ina may" labouring interupted so abruptly by the big bad world outside.
Noises,smell's,banging doors and pot holes in the road. Bright lights,harsh voices,fumes,ppl and EVERYTHING else that for some reason , i guess it was the primal thing,i didnt want my baby "exposed" to.
I longed to remain calm,quiet,at home, to be sat naked in front of the fire, holding my baby,MY baby,beautiful innocent,brand new little baby.
I couldnt see her clearly from the angle i was at,so was not aware how um "unvisiblly alarmed " the others were.
those moments......cry baby CRY.
Thank you team Trev for shielding me some during those following minutes because thats when i would have possibly freaked...ive only just realised this watching that cpl then.
Altho i do remember mand saying it was like being an air hostess..she looked to the midwive (as the pilot...in control and not panicing), her face wasnt scared so mand wasnt scared, i remember writing that on here somewhere)
Some of you probly remember,sarah esp.. it turned out we wernt rushed to hospital that day,celyn did (after scaring everyone shitless ) breath for herself.. but, was just a bit too laid back about it all
We didnt call an ambulance or go immeadiatly to hosp but stayed at home,by the fire,feeding and getting to know each other
because thats what the midwives said was ok and i felt was ok.
We all said the same thing " ah c'mon its a big shock entering this world,she just needs a minute to wake up"
But even skin to skin and with blankys over us,Celyn still had freezing cold blue hands and feet.
Darren paniced when somone mentioned ,very rarly there can be problems with babies heart with blue ness like that.
That was it,,
Celyn was transferred to hosp aged 2 days
I was gutted .
utterly totally gutted .
felt sad when i Should have felt elation.
Empty armed where my babe should be laying.
Horrible dark looming feeling ,
my perfect dream had just turned into a scary nightmare
Celyn was admitted and had tests of allsorts, i was observed breastfeeding her,i was patronized,felt a failiure ,so so sad,the noises of the busy hospital made my head feel like it would explode& babys Dad was being a knob
Mama's instinct (and later the tests aswell) told me that celyn was absolutly fine.
The two midwives who'd been at home with us...who chose NOT to call the ambulance when she was born,
came to see us in the baby ward,one of them whispered to me " I knew she was fine,i know when their not and ive never been wrong yet" best place for you two is home beside that fire of yours, n give your dog a cwtch from me "
aww man, it was as if my Nan was speaking.. i could almost hear her voice saying those words.
I felt empowerered,guided kinda,i had done right throughout that pregnancy . and it was that and the love n shared wisdom of a few wise women
Then the midvives that gave me and celyn the start we had.
I'll never forget it ,not as long as i live
The most euphoric but also terrifyingly unknown moment when babys born at home.but theres problems.
Sarah,Linds,Skye,vic,Jenni' and also Hannah's Mums,Weecab,Mand and of course the midwives
Thanku for sharing your strength with me before ( in the building of the Trev,)and after delivery, esp immeadiatly after.
It made ALL the difference.
Gave me strength when id thought id run out
I couldnt of done it without the wise ones or the midvives
there was very little intervention until it was needed. !
Thas how celyns arrival was and they truley were the most empowering moments of my life so far.
So so opposite to the older three's entrances.
I was repeatedly advised against home delivery and told that my Gp does not support or attend home births.
I guess that's her choice but the two NHS community midwive's involved in my pregnancy and labour were amazing.
So supportive,being led by my body language (with hardly any intervention,no monitors,internals etc,no opinions,rights or wrongs. I laboured away over the kitchen sink.watching the deer over on the hill.
It was calm,quiet,relaxed....so different to hosp labour.
I couldn't thank those midwives enough.
Thier knowledge,experience, attitude,the way they looked at me and instantly I trusted them.
They helped me realize that I could do it.
They sat calmly back,allowing me to do whatever my body told me to
The female bod is a remarkably clever thing when worked with and listened to.unyet
Many hosp deliverys seem to be working against gravity,with mum strapped to monitors led still on a bed
Home births have been around since time began ,
HOW can anyone( other than mother nature or a surgeon " decide" where a baby can/should or will be born
I remember Jo/campertess leaving a box of chocolates in my van and I posted them back to her and she nearly died of shock...and many games of 'in my shop' with tons of people
Because you hadnt eaten any of them :0
HOW did you resist ?
Also Bob is perfectly within his rights to have a chaperone/safe person with him during his appts .
However many proffesionals prefer to speak one to one with the patient only incase they may be holding anything back from their chaperone.
It often works the other way tho and if Bob is known to you through work then im certain you can speak on his behalf in explaining why he NEEDS a chaperone atm, of course this would need a signed letter of authourisation from Bob unless somone is acting as his "Execeteur" i think its called.
Will dbl check this now.
If Bob requested you stay in the room with him and the dr/Nurse ignored this request,
Bob is within his rights to ask to see a different Dr/Nurse,
or you could on his behalf(with his permission)
pref one who kinda gets a grasp of his needs and difficultys
grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr @ NHS (lack of decent)Mental Health Service's !
Very important question...is "Bob" classed as a vulnerable person ?
ie has anyone ever raised a POVA alert re Bob ?
There's a few links to have a read through.
Discovering and becoming involved with the first site yrs ago saved my sanity/life..seriously.
After a long and very bumpy (at times) journey of self discovery. aswell as tests,questionairre's,observation ect Diagnosis (if ness) gets made ,only then does the "proper" treatment and condition management plan get put in place (usually) .
Pers i believe this is wrong as ppl die whilst awaiting diagnosis/help/understanding,simple as
Bi polar can be all enveloping,totally character changing be that manic or suicidal at its worst,invisible and non affecting at best...and Everything in between.
It has no rules,boundarys ,fear or guidelines and often danger and pain feel good.
Many lay ppl dont understand the extent to which Bi Polar can affect (drive/shape/change) somone they know or love.
Many others however live daily with the consequences that can occur when Bi Polar is ignored/not addressed/goes undiagnosed/mis treated or dis respected/ignored post diagnosis .
It often makes relationships( private,personal or buisness) very difficult.
Sufferers often turn to drink/drugs to calm the thoughts and slow the hyperactivity...self medication !
maybe if ppl were correctly diagnosed/treated in the first place they might not turn to the street substances..much trial and research has gone into this subject and is available if you google it.
Its a very selfless and selfish illness that needs learning about by the sufferer and their loved ones/carers/family/employers ect.
there is much stigma(often wrongly) attatched to having a diagnosis of a serious mental health problem.
Too many assumptions made by too many ppl who sadly really often have no idea of how the suffer is feeling inside
Riddled,evil,paranoid,suicidal,hyperactive,anxious,grandos idealation are just a few of the many many words i could use to describe how Bi Polar feels at its worst.
self help is often very helpful/rewarding..with the sufferer finally begining to understand why what happens happens and what triggers him.... but that usually runs alongside any ness medications and poss pshycotherapy or pshycological intervention/treatments and can ONLY be done when Bob is ready.
NO ONE can make him better
HE HAS to make big steps himself, wanting to get better and being totally honest with the proffessionals and that is so hard/scary when you have trust issue's or difficultys meeting new ppl or feel misunderstood ect.
and if he is as suicidal as you say it could end with him being sectioned for his own safety
i Cant stress enough how much the support groups( be it acsessed in person/online/phone support/suicide watch text support,whatever)helps.. it was the one discovery that helped me more than anything else.
ive been a Bi Polar outreach volunteer for yrs ,
if "Bob" wants to chat, or more info on more places/ppl that can offer support and understanding
get him to pm/email me if you like.
He is just gorgeous
looking forward to him n patchy meeting
Come on then Heccy
yes i know you dont do early Monday mornings, niether do i
but this morning we have a very important date.
so last call girl,
Your butt split Celyn's bucket
It was funny tho
and a few other possibilitys.
Seeing as tho last summer was spent mostly mudsliding,im kinda hoping for some nice weather this yr
Sending you all lotsa love x x x
Lots and lots and lots of things for me,
(currently compiling a list )
What about you ?